roleplaying:munchausen:chapter_xxxiv
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— | roleplaying:munchausen:chapter_xxxiv [2005/11/22 17:58] (current) – created - external edit 127.0.0.1 | ||
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+ | ====== TRAVELS OF BARON MUNCHAUSEN ====== | ||
+ | ===== CHAPTER XXXIV ===== | ||
+ | |||
+ | //The Baron makes a speech to the National Assembly, and drives out | ||
+ | all the members--Routs the fishwomen and the National Guards-- | ||
+ | Pursues the whole rout into a Church, where he defeats the | ||
+ | National Assembly, &c., with Rousseau, Voltaire, and Beelzebub at | ||
+ | their head, and liberates Marie Antoinette and the Royal Family.// | ||
+ | |||
+ | Passing through Switzerland on my return from India, I was informed | ||
+ | that several of the German nobility had been deprived of the honours | ||
+ | and immunities of their French estates. I heard of the sufferings of | ||
+ | the amiable Marie Antoinette, and swore to avenge every look that had | ||
+ | threatened her with insult. I went to the cavern of these | ||
+ | Anthropophagi, | ||
+ | my sword to my lips--" | ||
+ | sword, that if you do not instantly reinstate your king and his | ||
+ | nobility, and your injured queen, I will cut the one half of you to | ||
+ | pieces." | ||
+ | |||
+ | On which the President, taking up a leaden inkstand, flung it at my | ||
+ | head. I stooped to avoid the blow, and rushing to the tribunal seized | ||
+ | the Speaker, who was fulminating against the Aristocrats, | ||
+ | the creature by one leg, flung him at the President. I laid about me | ||
+ | most nobly, drove them all out of the house, and locking the doors put | ||
+ | the key in my pocket. | ||
+ | |||
+ | I then went to the poor king, and making my obeisance to him--" | ||
+ | said I, "your enemies have all fled. I alone am the National Assembly | ||
+ | at present, and I shall register your edicts to recall the princes and | ||
+ | the nobility; and in future, if your majesty pleases, I will be your | ||
+ | Parliament and Council." | ||
+ | Antoinette, smiling, gave me her hand to kiss. | ||
+ | |||
+ | At that moment I perceived a party of the National Assembly, who had | ||
+ | rallied with the National Guards, and a vast procession of fishwomen, | ||
+ | advancing against me. I deposited their Majesties in a place of | ||
+ | safety, and with my drawn sword advanced against my foes. Three | ||
+ | hundred fishwomen, with bushes dressed with ribbons in their hands, | ||
+ | came hallooing and roaring against me like so many furies. I scorned | ||
+ | to defile my sword with their blood, but seized the first that came | ||
+ | up, and making her kneel down I knighted her with my sword, which so | ||
+ | terrified the rest that they all set up a frightful yell and ran away | ||
+ | as fast as they could for fear of being aristocrated by knighthood. | ||
+ | |||
+ | As to the National Guards and the rest of the Assembly, I soon put | ||
+ | them to flight; and having made prisoners of some of them, compelled | ||
+ | them to take down their national, and put the old royal cockade in its | ||
+ | place. | ||
+ | |||
+ | I then pursued the enemy to the top of a hill, where a most noble | ||
+ | edifice dazzled my sight; noble and sacred it was but now converted to | ||
+ | the vilest purposes, their monument //de grands hommes//, a Christian | ||
+ | church that these Saracens had perverted into abomination. I burst | ||
+ | open the doors, and entered sword in hand. Here I observed all the | ||
+ | National Assembly marching round a great altar erected to Voltaire; | ||
+ | there was his statue in triumph, and the fishwomen with garlands | ||
+ | decking it, and singing "Ca ira!" I could bear the sight no longer; | ||
+ | but rushed upon these pagans, and sacrificed them by dozens on the | ||
+ | spot. The members of the Assembly, and the fishwomen, continued to | ||
+ | invoke their great Voltaire, and all their masters in this monument | ||
+ | //de grands hommes//, imploring them to come down and succour them | ||
+ | against the Aristocrats and the sword of Munchausen. Their cries were | ||
+ | horrible, like the shrieks of witches and enchanters versed in magic | ||
+ | and the black art, while the thunder growled, and storms shook the | ||
+ | battlements, | ||
+ | horrible spectres; one all meagre, mere skin and bone, and cadaverous, | ||
+ | seemed death, that hideous skeleton; it was Voltaire, and in his hand | ||
+ | were a lyre and a dagger. On the other side was Rousseau, with a | ||
+ | chalice of sweet poison in his hand, and between them was their father | ||
+ | Beelzebub! | ||
+ | |||
+ | I shuddered at the sight, and with all the enthusiasm of rage, horror, | ||
+ | and piety, rushed in among them. I seized that cursed skeleton | ||
+ | Voltaire, and soon compelled him to renounce all the errors he had | ||
+ | advanced; and while he spoke the words, as if by magic charm, the | ||
+ | whole assembly shrieked, and the pandemonium began to tumble in | ||
+ | hideous ruin on their heads. | ||
+ | |||
+ | I returned in triumph to the palace, where the Queen rushed into my | ||
+ | arms, weeping tenderly. "Ah, thou flower of nobility," | ||
+ | "were all the nobles of France like thee, we should never have been | ||
+ | brought to this!" | ||
+ | |||
+ | I bade the lovely creature dry her eyes, and with the King and Dauphin | ||
+ | ascend my carriage, and drive post to Mont-Medi, as not an instant was | ||
+ | to be lost. They took my advice and drove away. I conveyed them within | ||
+ | a few miles of Mont-Medi, when the King, thanking me for my | ||
+ | assistance, hoped I would not trouble myself any farther, as he was | ||
+ | then, he presumed, out of danger; and the Queen also, with tears in | ||
+ | her eyes, thanked me on her knees, and presented the Dauphin for my | ||
+ | blessing. In short, I left the King eating a mutton chop. I advised | ||
+ | him not to delay, or he would certainly be taken, and setting spurs to | ||
+ | my horse, wished them a good evening, and returned to England. If the | ||
+ | King remained too long at table, and was taken, it was not my fault. | ||
+ | ---- | ||
+ | Return to the [[Contents Page]] |
roleplaying/munchausen/chapter_xxxiv.txt · Last modified: 2005/11/22 17:58 by 127.0.0.1