roleplaying:munchausen:chapter_xxxii
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+ | ====== TRAVELS OF BARON MUNCHAUSEN ====== | ||
+ | ===== CHAPTER XXXII ===== | ||
+ | |||
+ | //The Baron harangues the company, and they continue the pursuit-- | ||
+ | The Baron, wandering from his retinue, is taken by the savages, | ||
+ | scalped, and tied to a stake to be roasted; but he contrives to | ||
+ | extricate himself, and kills the savages--The Baron travels | ||
+ | overland through the forests of North America, to the confines of | ||
+ | Russia--Arrives at the castle of the Nareskin Rowskimowmowsky, | ||
+ | gallops into the kingdom of Loggerheads--A battle, in which the | ||
+ | Baron fights the Nareskin in single combat, and generously gives | ||
+ | him his life--Arrives at the Friendly Islands, and discourses with | ||
+ | Omai--The Baron, with all his attendants, goes from Otaheite to | ||
+ | the isthmus of Darien, and having cut a canal across the isthmus, | ||
+ | returns to England.// | ||
+ | |||
+ | "My friends, and very learned and profound Judiciarii," | ||
+ | not disheartened that Wauwau has escaped from you at present: | ||
+ | persevere, and we shall yet succeed. You should never despair, | ||
+ | Munchausen being your general; and therefore be brave, be courageous, | ||
+ | and fortune shall second your endeavours. Let us advance undaunted in | ||
+ | pursuit, and follow the fierce Wauwau even three times round the | ||
+ | globe, until we entrap her." | ||
+ | |||
+ | My words filled them with confidence and valour, and they unanimously | ||
+ | agreed to continue the chase. We penetrated the frightful deserts and | ||
+ | gloomy woods of America, beyond the source of the Ohio, through | ||
+ | countries utterly unknown before. I frequently took the diversion of | ||
+ | shooting in the woods, and one day that I happened with three | ||
+ | attendants to wander far from our troop, we were suddenly set upon by | ||
+ | a number of savages. As we had expended our powder and shot, and | ||
+ | happened to have no side-arms, it was in vain to make any resistance | ||
+ | against hundreds of enemies. In short, they bound us, and made us walk | ||
+ | before them to a gloomy cavern in a rock, where they feasted upon what | ||
+ | game they had killed, but which not being sufficient, they took my | ||
+ | three unfortunate companions and myself, and scalped us. The pain of | ||
+ | losing the flesh from my head was most horrible; it made me leap in | ||
+ | agonies, and roar like a bull. They then tied us to stakes, and making | ||
+ | great fires around us, began to dance in a circle, singing with much | ||
+ | distortion and barbarity, and at times putting the palms of their | ||
+ | hands to their mouths, set up the war-whoop. As they had on that day | ||
+ | also made a great prize of some wine and spirits belonging to our | ||
+ | troop, these barbarians, finding it delicious, and unconscious of its | ||
+ | intoxicating quality, began to drink it in profusion, while they | ||
+ | beheld us roasting, and in a very short time they were all completely | ||
+ | drunk, and fell asleep around the fires. Perceiving some hopes, I used | ||
+ | most astonishing efforts to extricate myself from the cords which I | ||
+ | was tied, and at length succeeded. I immediately unbound my | ||
+ | companions, and though half roasted, they still had power enough to | ||
+ | walk. We sought about for the flesh that had been taken off our heads, | ||
+ | and having found the scalps, we immediately adapted them to our bloody | ||
+ | heads, sticking them on with a kind of glue of a sovereign quality, | ||
+ | that flows from a tree in that country, and the parts united and | ||
+ | healed in a few hours. We took care to revenge ourselves on the | ||
+ | savages, and with their own hatchets put every one of them to death. | ||
+ | We then returned to our troop, who had given us up for lost, and they | ||
+ | made great rejoicings on our return. We now proceeded in our journey | ||
+ | through this prodigious wilderness, Gog and Magog acting as pioneers, | ||
+ | hewing down the trees, &c., at a great rate as we advanced. We passed | ||
+ | over numberless swamps and lakes and rivers, until at length we | ||
+ | discovered a habitation at some distance. It appeared a dark and | ||
+ | gloomy castle, surrounded with strong ramparts, and a broad ditch. We | ||
+ | called a council of war, and it was determined to send a deputation | ||
+ | with a trumpet to the walls of the castle, and demand friendship from | ||
+ | the governor, whoever he might be, and an account if aught he knew of | ||
+ | Wauwau. For this purpose our whole caravan halted in the wood, and Gog | ||
+ | and Magog reclined amongst the trees, that their enormous strength and | ||
+ | size should not be discovered, and give umbrage to the lord of the | ||
+ | castle. Our embassy approached the castle, and having demanded | ||
+ | admittance for some time, at length the drawbridge was let down, and | ||
+ | they were suffered to enter. As soon as they had passed the gate it | ||
+ | was immediately closed after them, and on either side they perceived | ||
+ | ranks of halberdiers, | ||
+ | herald proclaimed, "on the part of Hilaro Frosticos, Don Quixote, Lord | ||
+ | Whittington, | ||
+ | friendship from the governor of this puissant castle, and to seek | ||
+ | Wauwau." | ||
+ | all times happy to entertain such travellers as pass through these | ||
+ | immense deserts, and will esteem it an honour that the great Hilaro | ||
+ | Frosticos, Don Quixote, Lord Whittington, | ||
+ | Baron Munchausen, enter his castle walls." | ||
+ | |||
+ | In short, we entered the castle. The governor sat with all our company | ||
+ | to table, surrounded by his friends, of a very fierce and warlike | ||
+ | appearance. They spoke but little, and seemed very austere and | ||
+ | reserved, until the first course was served up. The dishes were | ||
+ | brought in by a number of bears walking on their hind-legs, and on | ||
+ | every dish was a fricassee of pistols, pistol-bullets, | ||
+ | gunpowder, and aqua-vitæ. This entertainment seemed rather | ||
+ | indigestible by even an ostrich' | ||
+ | us, and informed me that it was ever his custom to strangers to offer | ||
+ | them for the first course a service similar to that before us; and if | ||
+ | they were inclined to accept the invitation, he would fight them as | ||
+ | much as they pleased, but if they could not relish the pistol-bullets, | ||
+ | &c., he would conclude them peaceable, and try what better politeness | ||
+ | he could show them in his castle. In short, the first course being | ||
+ | removed untouched, we dined, and after dinner the governor forced the | ||
+ | company to push the bottle about with alacrity and to excess. He | ||
+ | informed us that he was the Nareskin Rowskimowmowsky, | ||
+ | amidst these wilds, disgusted with the court of Petersburgh. I was | ||
+ | rejoiced to meet him; I recollected my old friend, whom I had known at | ||
+ | the court of Russia, when I rejected the hand of the Empress. The | ||
+ | Nareskin, with all his knights-companions, | ||
+ | degree, and we all set off upon hobby horses in full cry out of the | ||
+ | castle. Never was there seen such a cavalcade before. In front | ||
+ | galloped a hundred knights belonging to the castle, with hunting horns | ||
+ | and a pack of excellent dogs; and then came the Nareskin | ||
+ | Rowskimowmowsky, | ||
+ | servant, hallooing and shouting like so many demoniacs, and spurring | ||
+ | our hobby horses at an infernal rate until we arrived in the kingdom | ||
+ | of Loggerheads. The kingdom of Loggerheads was wilder than any part of | ||
+ | Siberia, and the Nareskin had here built a romantic summer-house in a | ||
+ | Gothic taste, to which he would frequently retire with his company | ||
+ | after dinner. The Nareskin had a dozen bears of enormous stature that | ||
+ | danced for our amusement, and their chiefs performed the //minuet de la | ||
+ | cour// to admiration. And here the most noble Hilaro Frosticos thought | ||
+ | proper to ask the Nareskin some intelligence about Wauwau, in quest of | ||
+ | whom we had travelled over such a tract of country, and encountered so | ||
+ | many dangerous adventures, and also invited the Nareskin | ||
+ | Rowskimowmowsky to attend us with all his bears in the expedition. The | ||
+ | Nareskin appeared astonished at the idea; he looked with infinite | ||
+ | hauteur and ferocity on Hilaro, and affecting a violent passion asked | ||
+ | him, "Did he imagine that the Nareskin Rowskimowmowsky could | ||
+ | condescend to take notice of a Wauwau, let her fly what way she would! | ||
+ | Or did he think a chief possessing such blood in his veins could | ||
+ | engage in such a foreign pursuit? By the blood and by the ashes of my | ||
+ | great grandmother, | ||
+ | |||
+ | Hilaro Frosticos resented this oration, and in short a general riot | ||
+ | commenced. The bears, together with the hundred knights, took the part | ||
+ | of the Nareskin, and Gog and Magog, Don Quixote, the Sphinx, Lord | ||
+ | Whittington, | ||
+ | Hilaro Frosticos, made noble warfare against them. | ||
+ | |||
+ | I drew my sword, and challenged the Nareskin to single combat. He | ||
+ | frowned, while his eyes sparkled fire and indignation, | ||
+ | buckler on his left arm, he advanced against me. I made a blow at him | ||
+ | with all my force, which he received upon his buckler, and my sword | ||
+ | broke short. | ||
+ | |||
+ | Ungenerous Nareskin; seeing me disarmed, he still pushed forward, | ||
+ | dealing his blows upon me with the utmost violence, which I parried | ||
+ | with my shield and the hilt of my broken sword, and fought like a | ||
+ | game-cock. | ||
+ | |||
+ | An enormous bear at the same time attacked me, but I ran my hand still | ||
+ | retaining the hilt of my broken sword down his throat, and tore up his | ||
+ | tongue by the roots. I then seized his carcase by the hind-legs, and | ||
+ | whirling it over my head, gave the Nareskin such a blow with his own | ||
+ | bear as evidently stunned him. I repeated my blows, knocking the | ||
+ | bear's head against the Nareskin' | ||
+ | got his head into the bear's jaws, and the creature being still | ||
+ | somewhat alive and convulsive, the teeth closed upon him like | ||
+ | nutcrackers. I threw the bear from me, but the Nareskin remained | ||
+ | sprawling, unable to extricate his head from the bear's jaws, | ||
+ | imploring for mercy. I gave the wretch his life: a lion preys not | ||
+ | upon carcases. | ||
+ | |||
+ | At the same time my troop had effectually routed the bears and the | ||
+ | rest of their adversaries. I was merciful, and ordered quarter to be | ||
+ | given. | ||
+ | |||
+ | At that moment I perceived Wauwau flying at a great height through the | ||
+ | heavens, and we instantly set out in pursuit of her, and never stopped | ||
+ | until we arrived at Kamschatka; thence we passed to Otaheite. I met my | ||
+ | old acquaintance Omai, who had been in England with the great | ||
+ | navigator, Cook, and I was glad to find he had established Sunday | ||
+ | schools over all the islands. I talked to him of Europe, and his | ||
+ | former voyage to England. " | ||
+ | English, the cruel English, to murder me with goodness, and refine | ||
+ | upon my torture--took me to Europe, and showed me the court of | ||
+ | England, the delicacy of exquisite life; they showed me gods, and | ||
+ | showed me heaven, as if on purpose to make me feel the loss of them." | ||
+ | |||
+ | From these islands we set out, attended by a fleet of canoes with | ||
+ | fighting-stages and the chiefest warriors of the islands, commanded by | ||
+ | Omai. Thus the chariot of Queen Mab, my team of bulls and the | ||
+ | crickets, the ark, the Sphinx, and the balloons, with Hilaro | ||
+ | Frosticos, Gog and Magog, Lord Whittington, | ||
+ | Don Quixote, &c., with my fleet of canoes, altogether cut a very | ||
+ | formidable appearance on our arrival at the Isthmus of Darien. | ||
+ | Sensible of what general benefit it would be to mankind, I immediately | ||
+ | formed a plan of cutting a canal across the isthmus from sea to sea. | ||
+ | |||
+ | For this purpose I drove my chariot with the greatest impetuosity | ||
+ | repeatedly from shore to shore, in the same track, tearing up the | ||
+ | rocks and earth thereby, and forming a tolerable bed for the water. | ||
+ | Gog and Magog next advanced at the head of a million of people from | ||
+ | the realms of North and South America, and from Europe, and with | ||
+ | infinite labour cleared away the earth, &c., that I had ploughed up | ||
+ | with my chariot. I then again drove my chariot, making the canal wider | ||
+ | and deeper, and ordered Gog and Magog to repeat their labour as | ||
+ | before. The canal being a quarter of a mile broad, and three hundred | ||
+ | yards in depth, I thought it sufficient, and immediately let in the | ||
+ | waters of the sea. I did imagine, that from the rotatory motion of the | ||
+ | earth on its axis from west to east the sea would be higher on the | ||
+ | eastern than the western coast, and that on the uniting of the two | ||
+ | seas there would be a strong current from the east, and it happened | ||
+ | just as I expected. The sea came in with tremendous magnificence, | ||
+ | enlarged the bounds of the canal, so as to make a passage of some | ||
+ | miles broad from ocean to ocean, and make an island of South America. | ||
+ | Several sail of trading vessels and men-of-war sailed through this new | ||
+ | channel to the South Seas, China, &c., and saluted me with all their | ||
+ | cannon as they passed. | ||
+ | |||
+ | I looked through my telescope at the moon, and perceived the | ||
+ | philosophers there in great commotion. They could plainly discern the | ||
+ | alteration on the surface of our globe, and thought themselves somehow | ||
+ | interested in the enterprise of their fellow-mortals in a neighbouring | ||
+ | planet. They seemed to think it admirable that such little beings as | ||
+ | we men should attempt so magnificent a performance, | ||
+ | observable even in a separate world. | ||
+ | |||
+ | Thus having wedded the Atlantic Ocean to the South Sea, I returned to | ||
+ | England, and found Wauwau precisely in the very spot whence she had | ||
+ | set out, after having led us a chase all round the world. | ||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | ---- | ||
+ | Go to [[CHAPTER XXXIII]] | ||
+ | |||
roleplaying/munchausen/chapter_xxxii.txt · Last modified: 2005/11/22 18:04 by 127.0.0.1