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roleplaying:munchausen:chapter_xxx [2005/11/22 17:58] (current)
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 +===== CHAPTER XXX =====
 +//The Baron arrives in England--the Colossus of Rhodes comes to
 +congratulate him--Great rejoicings on the Baron'​s return, and a
 +tremendous concert--The Baron'​s discourse with Fragrantia, and her
 +opinion of the Tour to the Hebrides.//
 +Having arrived in England once more, the greatest rejoicings were made
 +for my return; the whole city seemed one general blaze of
 +illumination,​ and the Colossus of Rhodes, hearing of my astonishing
 +feats, came on purpose to England to congratulate me on such
 +unparalleled achievements. But above all other rejoicings on my
 +return, the musical oratorio and song of triumph were magnificent in
 +the extreme. Gog and Magog were ordered to take the maiden tower of
 +Windsor, and make a tambourine or great drum of it. For this purpose
 +they extended an elephant'​s hide, tanned and prepared for the design,
 +across the summit of the tower, from parapet to parapet, so that in
 +proportion this extended elephant'​s hide was to the whole of the
 +castle what the parchment is to a drum, in such a manner that the
 +whole became one great instrument of war.
 +To correspond with this, Colossus took Guildhall and Westminster
 +Abbey, and turning the foundations towards the heavens, so that the
 +roofs of the edifices were upon the ground, he strung them across with
 +brass and steel wire from side to side, and thus, when strung, they
 +had the appearance of most noble dulcimers. He then took the great
 +dome of St. Paul'​s,​ raising it off the earth with as much facility as
 +you would a decanter of claret. And when once risen up it had the
 +appearance of a quart bottle. Colossus instantly, with his teeth,
 +cracked off the superior part of the cupola, and then applying his
 +lips to the instrument, began to sound it like a trumpet. 'Twas
 +martial beyond description--//​tantara!//​--//​tara!//​--//​ta!//​
 +During the concert I walked in the park with Lady Fragrantia: she was
 +dressed that morning in a //chemise à la reine//. "I like," said she,
 +"the dew of the morning, 'tis delicate and ethereal, and, by thus
 +bespangling me, I think it will more approximate me to the nature of
 +the rose [for her looks were like Aurora]; and to confirm the
 +vermilion I shall go to Spa." "And drink the Podhon spring?"​ added I,
 +gazing at her from top to toe. "​Yes,"​ replied the lovely Fragrantia,
 +"with all my heart; 'tis the drink of sweetness and delicacy. Never
 +were there any creatures like the water-drinkers at spa; they seem
 +like so many thirsty blossoms on a peach-tree, that suck up the shower
 +in the scorching heat. There is a certain something in the waters that
 +gives vigour to the whole frame, and expands every heart with rapture
 +and benevolence. They drink! good gods! how they do drink! and then,
 +how they sleep! Pray, my dear Baron, were you ever at the falls of
 +Niagara?"​ "Yes, my lady," replied I, surprised at such a strange
 +association of ideas; "I have been, many years ago, at the Falls of
 +Niagara, and found no more difficulty in swimming up and down the
 +cataracts than I should to move a minuet."​ At that moment she dropped
 +her nosegay. "​Ah,"​ said she, as I presented it to her, "there is no
 +great variety in these polyanthuses. I do assure you, my dear Baron,
 +that there is taste in the selection of flowers as well as everything
 +else, and were I a girl of sixteen I should wear some rosebuds in my
 +bosom, but at five-and-twenty I think it would be more //apropos// to
 +wear a full-blown rose, quite ripe, and ready to drop off the stalk
 +for want of being pulled--heigh-ho!"​ "But pray, my lady," said I, "how
 +do you like the concert?"​ "​Alas!"​ said she, languishingly,​ while she
 +laid her hand upon my shoulder, "what are these bodiless sounds and
 +vibration to me? and yet what an exquisite sweetness in the songs of
 +the northern part of our island:​--'//​Thou art gone awa' from me,
 +Mary!//'​ How pathetic and divine the little airs of Scotland and the
 +Hebrides! But never, never can I think of that same Doctor Johnson--
 +that CONSTABLE, as Fergus MacLeod calls him--but I have an idea of a
 +great brown full-bottomed wig and a hogshead of porter! Oh, 'twas
 +base! to be treated everywhere with politeness and hospitality,​ and in
 +return invidiously to smellfungus them all over; to go to the country
 +of Kate of Aberdeen, of Auld Robin Gray, 'midst rural innocence and
 +sweetness, take up their plaids, and dance. Oh! Doctor, Doctor!"​
 +"And what would you say, Fragrantia, if you were to write a tour to
 +the Hebrides?"​ "Peace to the heroes,"​ replied she, in a delicate and
 +theatrical tone; "peace to the heroes who sleep in the isle of Iona;
 +the sons of the wave, and the chiefs of the dark-brown shield! The
 +tear of the sympathising stranger is scattered by the wind over the
 +hoary stones as she meditates sorrowfully on the times of old! Such
 +could I say, sitting upon some druidical heap or tumulus. The fact is
 +this, there is a right and wrong handle to everything, and there is
 +more pleasure in thinking with pure nobility of heart than with the
 +illiberal enmities and sarcasm of a blackguard."​
 +Go to [[CHAPTER XXXI]]
roleplaying/munchausen/chapter_xxx.txt · Last modified: 2005/11/22 17:58 (external edit)