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roleplaying:munchausen:chapter_xxvii [2005/11/22 18:00] (current)
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 +===== CHAPTER XXVII =====
 +//A proclamation by the Baron--Excessive curiosity of the people to
 +know what fudge was--The people in a general ferment about it--
 +They break open all the granaries in the empire--The affections of
 +the people conciliated--An ode performed in honour of the Baron--
 +His discourse with Fragrantia on the excellence of the music.//
 +Some time after I ordered the following proclamation to be published
 +in the Court Gazette, and in all the other papers of the empire:--
 +Whereas a quantity of fudge has been distributed through all the
 +granaries of the empire for particular uses; and as the natives
 +have ever expressed their aversion to all manner of European
 +eatables, it is hereby strictly forbidden, under pain of the
 +severest penalties, for any of the officers charged with the
 +keeping of the said fudge to give, sell, or suffer to be sold, any
 +part or quantity whatever of the said material, until it be
 +agreeable unto our good will and pleasure.
 +Dated in our Castle of Gristariska
 +this Triskill of the month of
 +Griskish, in the year Moulikasra-
 +This proclamation excited the most ardent curiosity all over the
 +empire. "Do you know what this fudge is?" said Lady Mooshilgarousti to
 +Lord Darnarlaganl. "​Fudge!"​ said he, "​Fudge! no: what fudge?"​ "I
 +mean," replied her Ladyship, "the enormous quantity of fudge that has
 +been distributed under guards in all the strong places in the empire,
 +and which is strictly forbidden to be sold or given to any of the
 +natives under the severest penalties."​ "​Lord!"​ replied he, "what in
 +the name of wonder can it be? Forbidden! why it must, but pray do you,
 +Lady Fashashash, do you know what this fudge is? Do you, Lord
 +Trastillauex?​ or you, Miss Gristilarkask?​ What! nobody know what this
 +fudge can be?"
 +It engrossed for several days the chit-chat of the whole empire.
 +Fudge, fudge, fudge, resounded in all companies and in all places,
 +from the rising until the setting of the sun; and even at night, when
 +gentle sleep refreshed the rest of mortals, the ladies of all that
 +country were dreaming of fudge!
 +"Upon my honour,"​ said Kitty, as she was adjusting her modesty piece
 +before the glass, just after getting out of bed, "there is scarce
 +anything I would not give to know what this fudge can be." "La! my
 +dear," replied Miss Killnariska,​ "I have been dreaming the whole night
 +of nothing but fudge; I thought my lover kissed my hand, and pressed
 +it to his bosom, while I, frowning, endeavoured to wrest it from him:
 +that he kneeled at my feet. No, never, never will I look at you, cried
 +I, till you tell me what this fudge can be, or get me some of it.
 +Begone! cried I, with all the dignity of offended beauty, majesty, and
 +a tragic queen. Begone! never see me more, or bring me this delicious
 +fudge. He swore, on the honour of a knight, that he would wander o'er
 +the world, encounter every danger, perish in the attempt, or satisfy
 +the angel of his soul."
 +The chiefs and nobility of the nation, when they met together to drink
 +their kava, spoke of nothing but fudge. Men, women, and children all,
 +all talked of nothing but fudge. 'Twas a fury of curiosity, one
 +general ferment, and universal fever--nothing but fudge could allay
 +But in one respect they all agreed, that government must have had some
 +interested view, in giving such positive orders to preserve it, and
 +keep it from the natives of the country. Petitions were addressed to
 +me from all quarters, from every corporation and body of men in the
 +whole empire. The majority of the people instructed their
 +constituents,​ and the parliament presented a petition, praying that I
 +would be pleased to take the state of the nation under consideration,​
 +and give orders to satisfy the people, or the most dreadful
 +consequences were to be apprehended. To these requests, at the
 +entreaty of my council, I made no reply, or at best but unsatisfactory
 +answers. Curiosity was on the rack; they forgot to lampoon the
 +government, so engaged were they about the fudge. The great assembly
 +of the states could think of nothing else. Instead of enacting laws
 +for the regulation of the people, instead of consulting what should
 +seem most wise, most excellent, they could think, talk, and harangue
 +of nothing but fudge. In vain did the Speaker call to order; the more
 +checks they got the more extravagant and inquisitive they were.
 +In short, the populace in many places rose in the most outrageous and
 +tumultuous manner, forced open the granaries in all places in one day,
 +and triumphantly distributed the fudge through the whole empire.
 +Whether on account of the longing, the great curiosity, imagination,​
 +or the disposition of the people, I cannot say--but they found it
 +infinitely to their taste; 'twas intoxication of joy, satisfaction,​
 +and applause.
 +Finding how much they liked this fudge, I procured another quantity
 +from England, much greater than the former, and cautiously bestowed it
 +over all the kingdom. Thus were the affections of the people regained;
 +and they, from hence, began to venerate, applaud, and admire my
 +government more than ever. The following ode was performed at the
 +castle, in the most superb style, and universally admired:--
 +Ye bulls and crickets, and Gog, Magog,\\
 +And trump'​ts high chiming anthrophog,​\\
 +Come sing blithe choral all in //og//,\\
 +Caralog, basilog, fog, and bog!\\
 +Great and superb appears thy cap sublime,\\
 +Admired and worshipp'​d as the rising sun;\\
 +Solemn, majestic, wise, like hoary Time,\\
 +And fam'd alike for virtue, sense, and fun.\\
 +Then swell the noble strain with song,\\
 +And elegance divine,\\
 +While goddesses around shall throng,\\
 +And all the muses nine.\\
 +And bulls, and crickets, and Gog, Magog,\\
 +And trumpets chiming anthrophog,​\\
 +Shall sing blithe choral all in //og//,\\
 +Caralog, basilog, fog, and bog!\\
 +This piece of poetry was much applauded, admired, and //encored// in
 +every public assembly, celebrated as an astonishing effort of genius;
 +and the music, composed by Minheer Gastrashbark Gkrghhbarwskhk,​ was
 +thought equal to the sense!--Never was there anything so universally
 +admired, the summit of the most exquisite wit, the keenest praise, the
 +most excellent music.
 +"Upon my honour, and the faith I owe my love," said I, "music may be
 +talked of in England, but to possess the very soul of harmony the
 +world should come to the performance of this ode." Lady Fragrantia was
 +at that moment drumming with her fingers on the edge of her fan, lost
 +in a reverie, thinking she was playing upon---- Was it a forte piano?
 +"No, my dear Fragrantia,"​ said I, tenderly taking her in my arms while
 +she melted into tears; "​never,​ never, will I play upon any other----!"​
 +Oh! 'twas divine, to see her like a summer'​s morning, all blushing and
 +full of dew!
roleplaying/munchausen/chapter_xxvii.txt · Last modified: 2005/11/22 18:00 (external edit)