User Tools

Site Tools



This shows you the differences between two versions of the page.

Link to this comparison view

roleplaying:munchausen:bangerznmasch [2008/08/27 19:25] (current)
Line 1: Line 1:
 +====== the Bangerznmasch people ======
 +"Ah, yes," Countess Barbara interrupts, "I well remember my own encounter
 +with the infamous Bangerznmasch people, not six months before the
 +present time. As Lady Kathryn explains (and as, indeed, she has reported in her
 +forthcoming seminal volume on the anthropology of the New World, which I
 +have recently had the pleasure of reviewing, discovering only 116 small -
 +albeit extremely important - errors therein)... as the Lady Kathryn
 +explains, the Bangerznmasch tribe is separated geographically by gender,
 +men from women, boys from girls. Infant boys are allowed to stay with
 +their mothers until the first festival (of which there are twelve each
 +year, except in leap years, when there are only seven), at which time,
 +the two camps meet in a great celebration in a camp in the dividing
 +range or - as was the case with the tribe that I visited - on rafts in the
 +middle of the dividing lake. The music and festivities carry on for a day
 +and a night, and the infant boys are sent across to the men's camp, where
 +they are fed on the milk of a goat until they are old enough to eat." The
 +Lady pauses in her account. "On reflection, this may explain the
 +enourmous gap in intellect between the two genders in this tribe: the men
 +of the Bangerznmasch are - as the Duke will no doubt have observed - even
 +more dimwitted than the average gentleman (present company, of course,
 +excluded) of our own race." The Lady delicately drains her glass in a
 +single swig, and calls for another before continuing.
 +"Now, as I was saying, not six months ago, having made my way overland
 +from the true Indies to America via a hitherto unknown route through the
 +jungle of Uzbeckistan,​ I found myself accepting the hospitality of the
 +Bangerznmasch. Of course, I did not stay in one of the pickled potato
 +huts of the menfolk, but in a three-bedroom,​ double-brick abode on
 +the women'​s side of the lake.
 +"As to the nature of the Bangerzmasch tribe'​s meat, I cannot attest,
 +except to say that it was very finely spiced, and often served with
 +maize and boiled cabbage. I saw that there was considerable profit to
 +be made if I could aquire the secret of their spices and bring it back
 +to the chefs of our own fair isles. But what could I offer in
 +exchange? All my luggage - except for a small portmanteau of personal
 +posessions carried on the back of my Indian elephant, Ralph - had been
 +lost; eaten by the nebbercredit of Bujal as I escaped through the hidden
 +tunnels beneath the hills, burnt by the fierce sunlight of Haididi as my
 +servants and I trekked across the desert under the cover of mirrored
 +cloaks, or confiscated by the Sultan of Stanbul under his most unfair
 +Sybarite Tax laws.
 +"​Pondering my options, I stayed with the Bangerzmasch for three weeks,
 +paying my board with stories and the histories of our own people (for the
 +Bangerznmasch women are always eager for new knowledge from a reliable
 +source) and meanwhile trying to persuade them to let me into the kitchens
 +to assist with the cooking (all the while hoping to gain the secret of
 +their spices). This was not to be: the tribe is run according to a strict
 +caste system, and only those born with short fingers and curled hair may
 +aid the cooks.
 +"​Finally,​ however, my luck took a turn for the better, as I had the
 +fortune to be present for their Festival of Long Pointy Shoes with Bells
 +On, the most significant autumn celebration in that part of the world. I
 +discovered that the tribe holds an unsurpassed regard for good poetry, and
 +yet had never encountered the concept of Rhyme. By bringing the
 +possibility of rhyming poetry to their notice, they declared that I had
 +more than paid for the secret of their spices, so they furnished me with a
 +good supply thereof, and a stubby-fingered,​ culry-haired servant to
 +accompany me on my further travels.
 +Lady Barbara smiled at the memory, then looked up at her audience. "Oh,
 +do not let me interrupt, Duke Peter. You were [[potato|saying]]?"​
 +====== ======
 +Back to [[countess_barbara_of_tango]]
roleplaying/munchausen/bangerznmasch.txt · Last modified: 2008/08/27 19:25 (external edit)