User Tools

Site Tools


roleplaying:munchausen:a_quick_lesson_on_why_contract_work_is_the_way_to_go

A quick lesson on why contract work is the way to go

Zara is quiet for a long moment. She waits for her drink to arrive and sips it slowly, choosing her words carefully.

“It's been my experience that there are credits to be made in just about anything. The trick is finding the right party.” She absently considers the large, iridescent blue rock nested in platinum on her finger. She glances in Brro's direction, conducts a shallow mind probe and establishing that there is no ill-intent in his question, she continues.

“In my line of work, I see my fair share of enterprising individuals passing through and I'm always scouting for new investment opportunities. It just so happened that at the beginning of the Snagl Ice Crisis on Telusia, a young, red-haired and freckled Terran found his way into my establishment. He looked rather shifty as he made his way to the bar and I didn't even have to scan him to know that he was looking for a contact. A couple of drinks on the house later and I knew everything I needed to know. His name was Doogie Wahoo, a Terran science geek looking to improve his fortune. As a member of an elite Terran scientific research team deep within the military, he had access to a very interesting creature that he had heard may be valuable on the black market. As you can imagine, my ears are always open. I was well aware of the demand this particular item had and I'd been waiting for an opportunity to get in on the action.

I wasn't *actually* listening to the details but as you can gather the creature in question was of course the Terran Hypersnail. One of the interesting things about this particular snail is that the genetic mutant, as you call it, is also an aphrodisiac to the male Aralaquean. Basically, the hormone the snail releases really gets 'em going. For whatever reason that the Terrans had been modifying the genomes of this snail, they had in fact bred a Hypersnail with a reinforced shell, of semi-metallic form, sharp pincers at the ends of their antennae and an extremely evolved, complex social structure. Several affluent Aralaqueans were aware of this creature and somewhat anxious to gain possession of a reasonable sized community. It was not at all difficult for me to get in contact with a suitable client and arrange several advantageous deals, between both the Terran and I and these illustrious Aralaqueans. All that remained was for me to find a reliable courier.

I was aware of the rather bizarre reproductive rituals that these creatures had and I was a little uneasy about the question of transport. I decided that the Aeolians would be my most suitable partner. They're a rather flaky species but own many of the commercial trading vessels out my way in space. They're not too quick on the uptake and it was easy for me to cut a 40:60 deal with them. Their extra 20% was to cover any incidentals they may encounter on the journey as well as conversion of a cargo bay to an aquatic environment and the cleanup fee. Once I handed over the snails which I had received from Mr Wahoo in their gestation stage, I relinquished all responsibility, the Aralaqueans having paid in advance.

You see, for the Hypersnail to be, lets say, effective, they themselves need to be approaching their reproductive stage in their life cycle. As I said, their reproductive rituals are unique and somewhat advanced for essentially an androgynous species. In preparation for reproduction, they start producing the hormone (I forget the Scientific name) that gets the male Aralaqueans all excited. As they near reproduction, they secrete it. However, the hormone is not innocuous to the Hypersnail either and starts to get them all riled up too. In order to vent this rush of the hormone, the Hypersnails embark on their reproductive ritual which is essentially a quest for the alpha or Super Hypersnail. The purpose of determining this is still a mystery to biologists but nonetheless the sight is something to see. They gather in small groups and form circles, each snail taking his turn in the centre and performing an intricate and complex series of movements, reminiscent of the old hardcore breakdancing of yesteryear. Each snail challenges the next to out-perform it. When the ritual reaches its climax, thousands of these creatures can be seen performing headspins and slides, using their pincers to dig into the ocean floor to pull off many of the more complicated routines.

Needless to say that the Hypersnails were approaching this stage in their life cycle, ready for delivery. The Aeolians hadn't conducted any research on their cargo, simply costing the changes required for the cargo bay and lumping me with the bill - and over-quoted it in the contract negotiations, I might add but I let it slide. Anyway, the snails did their thing, the delivery was made on schedule (the Aeolians are prompt if anything) and the client was ..ah.. most satisfied with our service.

Half a year later, a friend of mine passed through on his way to Sector 9 and told me that the Aeolians had discovered some three months later, when they finally remembered to clean out the cargo bay, that every surface had been scratched to hell and that in some places the slices into the metal floor had become perforations in concentric patterns formed by repetitive Hypersnail headspins. The damage was so severe that structural integrity of the area had been completely compromised and the floor for the entire level had to be completely replaced.

Several other similar offers came up from the Aralaqueans but I don't really like to trade in live cargo. I don't get involved in politics either. I find commercial ventures to be far more lucrative. I'll stop talking now as I'm most interested in hearing the rest of Pia's tale.


Back to science fiction
Go back to The Captain's View Hotel

roleplaying/munchausen/a_quick_lesson_on_why_contract_work_is_the_way_to_go.txt · Last modified: 2008/08/27 17:30 by 127.0.0.1