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+====== TRAVELS OF BARON MUNCHAUSEN ======
+===== CHAPTER XXXIV =====
+//The Baron makes a speech to the National Assembly, and drives out
+all the members--Routs the fishwomen and the National Guards--
+Pursues the whole rout into a Church, where he defeats the
+National Assembly, &c., with Rousseau, Voltaire, and Beelzebub at
+their head, and liberates Marie Antoinette and the Royal Family.//
+Passing through Switzerland on my return from India, I was informed
+that several of the German nobility had been deprived of the honours
+and immunities of their French estates. I heard of the sufferings of
+the amiable Marie Antoinette, and swore to avenge every look that had
+threatened her with insult. I went to the cavern of these
+Anthropophagi, assembled to debate, and gracefully putting the hilt of
+my sword to my lips--"I swear," cried I, "by the sacred cross of my
+sword, that if you do not instantly reinstate your king and his
+nobility, and your injured queen, I will cut the one half of you to
+pieces."
+On which the President, taking up a leaden inkstand, flung it at my
+head. I stooped to avoid the blow, and rushing to the tribunal seized
+the Speaker, who was fulminating against the Aristocrats, and taking
+the creature by one leg, flung him at the President. I laid about me
+most nobly, drove them all out of the house, and locking the doors put
+the key in my pocket.
+I then went to the poor king, and making my obeisance to him--"Sire,"
+said I, "your enemies have all fled. I alone am the National Assembly
+at present, and I shall register your edicts to recall the princes and
+the nobility; and in future, if your majesty pleases, I will be your
+Parliament and Council." He thanked me, and the amiable Marie
+Antoinette, smiling, gave me her hand to kiss.
+At that moment I perceived a party of the National Assembly, who had
+rallied with the National Guards, and a vast procession of fishwomen,
+advancing against me. I deposited their Majesties in a place of
+safety, and with my drawn sword advanced against my foes. Three
+hundred fishwomen, with bushes dressed with ribbons in their hands,
+came hallooing and roaring against me like so many furies. I scorned
+to defile my sword with their blood, but seized the first that came
+up, and making her kneel down I knighted her with my sword, which so
+terrified the rest that they all set up a frightful yell and ran away
+as fast as they could for fear of being aristocrated by knighthood.
+As to the National Guards and the rest of the Assembly, I soon put
+them to flight; and having made prisoners of some of them, compelled
+them to take down their national, and put the old royal cockade in its
+place.
+I then pursued the enemy to the top of a hill, where a most noble
+edifice dazzled my sight; noble and sacred it was but now converted to
+the vilest purposes, their monument //de grands hommes//, a Christian
+church that these Saracens had perverted into abomination. I burst
+open the doors, and entered sword in hand. Here I observed all the
+National Assembly marching round a great altar erected to Voltaire;
+there was his statue in triumph, and the fishwomen with garlands
+decking it, and singing "Ca ira!" I could bear the sight no longer;
+but rushed upon these pagans, and sacrificed them by dozens on the
+spot. The members of the Assembly, and the fishwomen, continued to
+invoke their great Voltaire, and all their masters in this monument
+//de grands hommes//, imploring them to come down and succour them
+against the Aristocrats and the sword of Munchausen. Their cries were
+horrible, like the shrieks of witches and enchanters versed in magic
+and the black art, while the thunder growled, and storms shook the
+battlements, and Rousseau, Voltaire, and Beelzebub appeared, three
+horrible spectres; one all meagre, mere skin and bone, and cadaverous,
+seemed death, that hideous skeleton; it was Voltaire, and in his hand
+were a lyre and a dagger. On the other side was Rousseau, with a
+chalice of sweet poison in his hand, and between them was their father
+Beelzebub!
+I shuddered at the sight, and with all the enthusiasm of rage, horror,
+and piety, rushed in among them. I seized that cursed skeleton
+Voltaire, and soon compelled him to renounce all the errors he had
+advanced; and while he spoke the words, as if by magic charm, the
+whole assembly shrieked, and the pandemonium began to tumble in
+hideous ruin on their heads.
+I returned in triumph to the palace, where the Queen rushed into my
+arms, weeping tenderly. "Ah, thou flower of nobility," cried she,
+"were all the nobles of France like thee, we should never have been
+brought to this!"
+I bade the lovely creature dry her eyes, and with the King and Dauphin
+ascend my carriage, and drive post to Mont-Medi, as not an instant was
+to be lost. They took my advice and drove away. I conveyed them within
+a few miles of Mont-Medi, when the King, thanking me for my
+assistance, hoped I would not trouble myself any farther, as he was
+then, he presumed, out of danger; and the Queen also, with tears in
+her eyes, thanked me on her knees, and presented the Dauphin for my
+blessing. In short, I left the King eating a mutton chop. I advised
+him not to delay, or he would certainly be taken, and setting spurs to
+my horse, wished them a good evening, and returned to England. If the
+King remained too long at table, and was taken, it was not my fault.
+----
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