roleplaying:munchausen:chapter_iv
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+ | ====== TRAVELS OF BARON MUNCHAUSEN ====== | ||
+ | ===== CHAPTER IV ===== | ||
+ | // | ||
+ | stones; the wonderful effects of it--Kills a bear by extraordinary | ||
+ | dexterity; his danger pathetically described--Attacked by a wolf, | ||
+ | which he turns inside out--Is assailed by a mad dog, from which he | ||
+ | escapes--The Baron' | ||
+ | wardrobe is thrown into confusion.// | ||
+ | You have heard, I dare say, of the hunter and sportsman' | ||
+ | protector, St. Hubert, and of the noble stag, which appeared to him in | ||
+ | the forest, with the holy cross between his antlers. I have paid my | ||
+ | homage to that saint every year in good fellowship, and seen this stag | ||
+ | a thousand times, either painted in churches, or embroidered in the | ||
+ | stars of his knights; so that, upon the honour and conscience of a | ||
+ | good sportsman, I hardly know whether there may not have been | ||
+ | formerly, or whether there are not such crossed stags even at this | ||
+ | present day. But let me rather tell what I have seen myself. Having | ||
+ | one day spent all my shot, I found myself unexpectedly in presence of | ||
+ | a stately stag, looking at me as unconcernedly as if he had known of | ||
+ | my empty pouches. I charged immediately with powder, and upon it a | ||
+ | good handful of cherry-stones, | ||
+ | the hurry would permit. Thus I let fly at him, and hit him just on the | ||
+ | middle of the forehead, between his antlers; it stunned him--he | ||
+ | staggered--yet he made off. A year or two after, being with a party in | ||
+ | the same forest, I beheld a noble stag with a fine full grown cherry- | ||
+ | tree above ten feet high between his antlers. I immediately | ||
+ | recollected my former adventure, looked upon him as my property, and | ||
+ | brought him to the ground by one shot, which at once gave me the | ||
+ | haunch and cherry-sauce; | ||
+ | fruit, the like I had never tasted before. Who knows but some | ||
+ | passionate holy sportsman, or sporting abbot or bishop, may have shot, | ||
+ | planted, and fixed the cross between the antlers of St. Hubert' | ||
+ | in a manner similar to this? They always have been, and still are, | ||
+ | famous for plantations of crosses and antlers; and in a case of | ||
+ | distress or dilemma, which too often happens to keen sportsmen, one is | ||
+ | apt to grasp at anything for safety, and to try any expedient rather | ||
+ | than miss the favourable opportunity. I have many times found myself | ||
+ | in that trying situation. | ||
+ | |||
+ | What do you say of this, for example? Daylight and powder were spent | ||
+ | one day in a Polish forest. When I was going home a terrible bear made | ||
+ | up to me in great speed, with open mouth, ready to fall upon me; all | ||
+ | my pockets were searched in an instant for powder and ball, but in | ||
+ | vain; I found nothing but two spare flints: one I flung with all my | ||
+ | might into the monster' | ||
+ | and made him turn about, so that I could level the second at his back- | ||
+ | door, which, indeed, I did with wonderful success; for it flew in, met | ||
+ | the first flint in the stomach, struck fire, and blew up the bear with | ||
+ | a terrible explosion. Though I came safe off that time, yet I should | ||
+ | not wish to try it again, or venture against bears with no other | ||
+ | ammunition. | ||
+ | |||
+ | There is a kind of fatality in it. The fiercest and most dangerous | ||
+ | animals generally came upon me when defenceless, | ||
+ | notion or an instinctive intimation of it. Thus a frightful wolf | ||
+ | rushed upon me so suddenly, and so close, that I could do nothing but | ||
+ | follow mechanical instinct, and thrust my fist into his open mouth. | ||
+ | For safety' | ||
+ | the shoulder. How should I disengage myself? I was not much pleased | ||
+ | with my awkward situation--with a wolf face to face; our ogling was | ||
+ | not of the most pleasant kind. If I withdrew my arm, then the animal | ||
+ | would fly the more furiously upon me; that I saw in his flaming eyes. | ||
+ | In short, I laid hold of his tail, turned him inside out like a glove, | ||
+ | and flung him to the ground, where I left him. | ||
+ | |||
+ | The same expedient would not have answered against a mad dog, which | ||
+ | soon after came running against me in a narrow street at St. | ||
+ | Petersburg. Run who can, I thought; and to do this the better, I threw | ||
+ | off my fur cloak, and was safe within doors in an instant. I sent my | ||
+ | servant for the cloak, and he put it in the wardrobe with my other | ||
+ | clothes. The day after I was amazed and frightened by Jack's bawling, | ||
+ | "For God's sake, sir, your fur cloak is mad!" I hastened up to him, | ||
+ | and found almost all my clothes tossed about and torn to pieces. The | ||
+ | fellow was perfectly right in his apprehensions about the fur cloak' | ||
+ | madness. I saw him myself just then falling upon a fine full-dress | ||
+ | suit, which he shook and tossed in an unmerciful manner. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ---- | ||
+ | Go to [[CHAPTER V]] |
roleplaying/munchausen/chapter_iv.txt · Last modified: 2005/11/22 17:58 by 127.0.0.1