Alpha Network News - We give you the news as soon as it's approved

A long, long time ago I can still remember all the muties I'd hate and revile
And I knew if I had my shot that I could make those muties rot and maybe I'd be happy for awhile

But drug-laced ~ColdFun made me shiver
With every killshot I delivered
Dead clones in the Sector
I couldn't get ev'ry defector

I can remember all my dread when I shot my own clone in the head
But something told me, "Stay in bed," the day I killed him dead

So bye bye my dear clone that I fried
You're a mutie, it's my duty, but my fear I can't hide
Some good old clones told me to take it in stride
But it's hard to kill your clone, I confide

Did you sign a lost clone form?
And did you search the next Sector dorm (if procedure tells you so)?
And do you believe in the Outdoors?
Do Commies come in sets of fours?
And can you teach me how to treat these sores?

Well I know I have two mutie clones
Cause I saw them in a 'No Clone Zone'
They both took off their heads
Yeah I think I need to take meds

I was a lonely Troubleshootin' clone
With authorization for a nuke on loan
But I knew that I'd never condone
The way those muties lied

So bye bye my dear clone that I fried
You're a mutie, it's my duty, but my fear I can't hide
Some good old clones told me to take it in stride
But it's hard to kill your clone, I confide

Now for ten yearcycles I've been on my own
And the reactor's shielded by my other clones
But that's not how it used to be

When my twoclone worked for the Sector Head
In a suit he borrowed from someone dead
And his boots, well they came from you and me

Oh and while my clone was acting nice 
His mutant cells were splitting twice
His evil overtook, and I tried not to look

And while mutie burned through others' brains
I hunted him through the Sector's drains
And I myself could not explain
The way those muties lied
I was singing...

Bye bye my dear clone that I fried
You're a mutie, it's my duty, but my fear I can't hide
Some good old clones told me to take it in stride
But it's hard to kill your clone, I confide
...Hard to kill your clone... I confide

[img[Adam|http://www.paranoia-live.net/forum/images/avatars/gallery/citizens/10.gif]]

The best part of waking up is Ultra Morning Alertness tablets in your cup
----
Contrary to previous reports, there are no flying mutant spiders in Sector PBA.  The alleged sightings are a normal side effect of reactor gas venting in the area.  There is no reason to be alarmed.  This has been a public service announcement from Power Services.
----
Filling out Forms is Fun! All Loyal Citizens Enjoy Filling out Forms!  This has been a public service announcement from Central Processing Unit.
----
A specter is haunting Alpha Complex-the specter of communism.  Know communism's True Dangers. Know the Steps You Can Take to Escape Them!
----
Freedom, morality, and the dignity of the clone consists precisely in this; that he does good not because he is forced to do so, but because he freely conceives it, wants it, and loves it.
----
Unauthorized use of suicide booths is treason.  This has been a public service announcement from CPU.
----
As part of resource conservation week cycle, residents of URN sector are to refrain from the use of sanitary facilities for 40 hour cycles.  This has been a public service announcement from HD& P.
----
Citizen ~Port-R-GUI, Please report for orifice relocation immediately.
----
Attention all citizens.  Look to your left.  Look to your right.  The clone next to you could be a communist.  This has been a public service announcement from Internal Security.
----
Personal cleanliness is the responsibility of every clone, and to be taken seriously.  However, the diversion of scrubbots in the course of their programmed activities for personal hygiene activities is strictly prohibited.  This has been a public service announcement from technical services.
----
Attention citizens:  If you are now or have ever been a communist, report to the recycling tanks immediately.
----
Trust no one.  Keep your laser handy.  This has been a public safety tip from the Armed Services.
----
Attention all citizens:  As part of energy management, lights in sectors HLY through DMM will be unavailable for 3 day cycles.  This has been a public service announcement from Power Services.
----
The computer congratulates ~Her-O-ICK- 1 through ~Her-O-ICK-6, for conspicuous valor in defense of Alpha Complex.  All clones are requested to tune in to a recreation of the ~Her-O-ICK series actions against the Communist Menace on the nightcycles episode of ~Son-I and ~Che-R Variety Hourcycle.  
----
Computer loves me.  Computer loves me.  Computer loves me.  Computer tells me so. (Failure to sing is treason).
----
Attention all citizens:  Do not eat the blue crunchytime algae chips.  The blue crunchytime algae chips are not poisonous; they are badly chemically made.  Eat only the green crunchytime algae chips.  The responsible clones have been executed.
----
We're all clones.  All are one and one are all.  All are one and one are all.
----
It has come to our attention that some clones have been run over by service vehicles speeding on public walkways, resulting in damage to computer property.  Failure to avoid service vehicles is treason.  This has been a public safety announcement from Technical Services.
----
Central Processing Unit reminds all clones: Trust the computer.  The computer is your friend.
----
Do you know how many time zones there are in the Soviet Union?  11.  That's how big they are.
----
Attention all citizens:  Clones affected by the recent radiation leak in sector TMI are requested to lie down in an orderly fashion in public areas for efficient clean-up.  This is a joint public service announcement from Power Services and Technical Services.
----
Have you signed a loyalty oath today?
----
Eat ~Pur-I-NAH Brand Clone Chow: Tastes so good clones ask for it by name.
----
Teela O MLY says, "The good clone responds to treason with fear and loathing."
----
As part of economic stimulation, all plasticreds have been revalued at 90% of their previous value.  All invoices, debts, and obligations will remain at the previous value.  Failure to maintain payment schedules is treason.
----
Trouble shooter team Pegasus.  Please report source of strange glow in DUB sector reactor complex.
----
A malfunctioning Mark 7 Tankbot is missing in the area of Sector BGA.  Clones that see the Tankbot are to notify central control before being killed.  Failure to do so is treason.  This has been a public service announcement from the Armed Services.
----
Do not eat the green crunchytime algae chips.  The green crunchytime algae chips are not poisonous; they are badly chemically made.  Eat only the blue crunchytime algae chips.  The responsible clones have been executed.
----
Obedience to the computer is freedom.
----
Citizen ~Port-R-GUI, Please report for orifice relocation immediately.  Failure to report for orifice relocation is treason.
----
To reward loyalty, an extra plasticred bonus will be issued to clones that turn in members of their clone series for treason.  This has been a public service message from Internal Security.
----
Congratulations to all clones in sector SIK.  You have been selected to participate in test trials of the new experimental synthbeef 2.0.  Please report to R & D for temporary medical monitor insertion.  Your cooperation is expected and appreciated.  All hail the computer.
----
This is a reminder from Internal Security.  Failure to register mutant powers is treason.  Register today and be punished with something less than execution.
----
Rumors are treason.  If you overhear a rumor, report to central control for immediate adjustment of your treason rating.
----
As part of information management, all clones in sector SIN are to shred their personal identification papers immediately.
----
The Law is the true embodiment of everything that's excellent. It has no kind of fault or flaw, And the computer embodies the Law.
----
All clones who have ingested the New Cold Fun with Happy Chunks within the past three month cycles should report to their nearest Medbot immediately.  There is no reason to panic.
----
~Mic-R-UFF, the lovable internal security mascot says: "Turn yourself in.  You know what you did."
----
Tonightcycles's episode of "Food Vat Hijinks" scheduled for 16:30 hour cycles will be broadcast at 16:00 hour cycles.  Tonight's episode of "You Bet Your Life" scheduled for 16:00 hour cycles will be broadcast at 16:30 hour cycles.  Tonightcycles's episode of "That's My Clone" will be last nightcycles's episode of "That's My Clone."
----
Attention all citizens:  the CPU Infofeed message broadcast at 8:52 Hour cycles has been canceled.  Failure to observe cancellation of that advisory is treason.
----
Internal Security reminds you:  In the computer we trust.  All others pay plasticreds.  This has been a public service announcement from Internal Security.
----
Attention all clones!  Know that you suffering is not in vain.  Each drop of blood fuels the war against the communist menace.  The gears of Alpha Complex are oiled with the blood of the clone.
----
John 3:16!  John 3:16!
----
Are you sure a traitor hasn't slipped contraband into your pack? Check your gear.  Know what you are carrying at all times.
----
That which does not kill you saves the computer clones.  This resource conservation initiative is sponsored by Technical Services.
----
As part of routine fumigation, all citizens in sector PSN are asked to hold their breaths between 04:00 hour cycles and 05:00 hour cycles.  This has been a public service announcement from HD&P.
----
Happy happy, joy joy.  Happy happy, Joy, joy., etc.
----
All citizens whose radiation badges indicate unhealthy levels of radiation exposure are requested to report to Power Services for replacement radiation badges.  This has been a public service announcement from Power Services. Power Services.  We bring good things to light.
----
As part of fire safety awareness, all clones are reminded that, in the unlikely event of fire, remain in the burning compartment until all fire doors are secure and locked.
----
Have you hugged your terminal today?
----
For freedom the Computer has set us free. Stand firm, therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.
----
As part of paperwork reduction, Form ~AX2700, Authorization to Complete Forms will now be required prior to filling out any forms.  Form ~AX2700 may be obtained with a completed and approved Form Request Form.  This has been a public service announcement from Central Processing Unit.
----
A summary execution warrant has been signed for Citizen ~Port-R-GUI for failure to report for orifice relocation.  Any clone seeing ~Port-R-GUI is ordered to carry out this warrant and notify Internal Security immediately.
----
~UltraCeilingWhiteCrunchyChips have been removed from all commissary and ~VendoBots pending further testing.  In the interest of resource management, all clones in possession of ~UltraCeilingWhiteCrunchyChips are asked to finish eating any delicious chips in their possession.
----
Biohazard Response to R & D Lab Complex in Sector OPS.
----
The flooding in the Hab Complex in Sector AQA is being completed in preparation for mandatory intramural synchronized swimming.  The computer is concerned for the welfare of all clones and has initiated this cardio-pulmonary work-out opportunity.  Congratulations to lucky Sector AQA residents.
----
~IntSec wishes to remind all clones that a large number of unnecessary injuries are caused each week cycle by struggling with the Cavitysearchbots.  Please refrain from such activity in the interest of resource conservation.
----
Freedom is the recognition of necessity
----
As part of public safety, clones are reminded that some blistering normally occurs with the use of Super Happy Hand Wash.  Do not discontinue use.
----
Secret Societies are treason.  If you have reason to believe that you are a member of a secret society, report for immediate termination.  This has been a public services announcement from Internal Security.
----
You're in good hands with the computer.
----
As part of resource conservation, all clones in the PRO sector will have their series number advanced by 2.  If this adjustment pushes any series over the 6-clone limit, an application for a clone number variance may be filed with central control.  
  
Teela O MLY says, "A Clean Citizen is a Happy Citizen!"
----
The new Suicide booths series 128h9830jndnjw902 are being confused with the old Telecom booths series 128h9830jndnjw901, resulting in the unnecessary expenditure of computer resources through replacement clones.  Failure to distinguish between the two models will be considered treason.  All clones are advised to read the serial numbers located on the inside door facing of telecom booths before entering.
----
Traitors in Alpha Complex constitute the fifth column of communism, yearn for an Complex that is as far from the society of the present as is the extended family system produced by primitive rutting.
----
All trouble shooters are reminded that failure to adequately test experimental equipment assigned by R & D is treason.  This has been a public service announcement from R & D.
----
A recall has been issued on all Series 922A Self Cleaning Jumpsuits.  R&D also wishes to announce that volunteers are requested for beta testing of the new experimental synthskin patch version 3.0
----
Eat Soylent Green: Made from the best stuff in Alpha Complex.
----
As part of resource conservation, all clones working in the Food Vats are requested to take a second dose of ~Wakey-Wakey Pills at midshift to prevent further irreversible immersion incidents.  Stay alert! With ~Wakey-Wakey Pills.  
----
Just say 'no' to communism and treason.  
----
Trouble shooter team Raven. Identify and report source of screaming in airshaft system in Sector FAL.
----
Research and Development wishes to congratulate citizen ~Uget-R-BNA for volunteering for experimental orifice relocation.  Citizen ~Uget-R-BNA report for orifice relocation immediately.
----
Laugh and the computer laughs with you.  Cry and face mandatory termination.
----
Watch the ceilings!  Watch the ceilings!  The enemy is everywhere.
----
Maintain the purity and integrity of your bodily fluids.  Communist infiltrators may seek to contaminate your precious bodily fluids.
----
Trouble shooter team Raven.  Screaming has ceased.  Cancel mission.
----
When in doubt, shoot first; fill out Form Z/732562-A2.0 later.  This has been a helpful safety tip from Internal Security.
----
Attention all citizens.  This is an announcement from Central Processing Unit.  Regulation 2974.44AHH has been cancelled.  Failure to observe cancellation of this regulation is treason.
----
Due to the risk of electrocution, do not use tongue pads in sector [unintelligible] until further notice.  This has been a public service announcement from Technical Services.
----
Look in the mirror.  Is that the face of a traitor? Stop looking now.  Vanity is treason.
----
Due to communist treason, all corridor paths in sector STK to be painted black were painted Blue.  Citizens of less than Blue clearance are asked to remain in their current location until Paintbots complete re-classification of the affected areas.  Treason points for being in areas beyond your security level will be adjusted by 10%.
----
All clones in Sector FAM with Red clearance are immediately granted Yellow clearance.  
----
Communism is a hateful thing, and a menace to Alpha Complex.  Communism has never come to power in a complex that was not disrupted by violence or corruption, or both
----
All clones in Sector FAM with Yellow clearance report for termination.
----
Beware of treason the enemy is everywhere.
----
The following message is beyond your security clearance.  Failure to cover your ears and sing will be punished by treason.  There are leftover muffins in the CPU second level conference room.
----
Trouble shooter team 7362 report to Sector UOH.
----
Form X7h98/3/33/2 has been discontinued.  All information previously filed on form X7h98/3/33/2 is now invalid.
----
The Director of R&D wishes to announce the beginning of work on an immense Secret Project, the completion of which will bring unique benefits to Alpha Complex.
----
Due to delays in the decanting process, Clones are forbidden to die without explicit 
permission and/or orders so as to mitigate labor shortages.
----
You!  No, the clone next to you.  Are you as loyal as you could be?
----
All clones involved in the production of Fizzy Yum Yum during the past ten day cycles please report to the recycling tanks.
----
All hail the computer.  The computer is your friend.
----
Fear is not love. Fear is a hammer which we use to crush the communist enemy.
----
Medbot report to Sector UOH
----
The Cold War isn't thawing; it is burning with a deadly heat. Communism isn't sleeping; it is, as always, plotting, scheming, working, fighting.
----
Freedom is slavery. Enslave yourself to the computer's truth, and it will set you free.
----
Vulture Squad please report to Sector UOH
----
Stay Alert! Trust No-one! Keep Your Laser Handy! 
----
Be  like Teela O MLY.  Every Day, in every Way, Learn to serve The Computer better!
----
A summary execution warrant has been signed for Citizen ~Uget-R-BNA for failure to report for orifice relocation.  Any clone seeing ~Uget-R-BNA is ordered to carry out this warrant and notify Internal Security immediately.
----
The Truth is in the nearest Confession booth.
----
R & D Says: "I don't think you're happy enough!"  Clones from Sector RNS have been volunteered to test the new experimental Happy Helmet.
----
The only freedom the good clone cares about is the freedom to do right; the freedom to do wrong he is ready to part with on the cheapest terms to anyone who will take it of him.
----
We can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
----
The commie menace is waiting for its opportunity.  Are you being vigilant?
----
We would like to commend the following clones for coming forward to register their mutation:  ~Scoob-I-DOO-2, ~Testo-R-OWN-1, ~Cow-R-DLY-3.  Summary execution orders have been placed for ~Scoob-I-DOO-3-6, ~Testo-R-OWN-2-6 and ~Cow-R-DLY-4-6.  Thank you for your cooperation.
----
The Computer is YOUR Friend!
----
PLC reminds loyal clones:  All food-related illness can be blamed directly on Commie Mutant Traitors.
----
Happiness is Mandatory!
----
All Loyal Citizens think and act alike when confronted by the Threat of Communism!  
----
The law of the Computer is perfect, converting the clone: the testimony of the computer is sure, making wise the simple.
----
As part of public health, all time cycles will be reduced by 3%, thereby extending the lifespan of all clones in alpha complex.
----
Lovable Internal Security mascot ~Smoke-I-BAR says, "Only YOU can Prevent Communist Sabotage!"
----
All available decontaminationBots report to Sector UOH
----
The good clone remembers:  Even if I died in the service of the computer, I would be proud of it. Every drop of my blood ... will contribute to the growth of this complex and to make it strong and dynamic.
----
"The best clones in the world have Alpha Complex written all over them."
----
Sector UOH closed to all traffic until further notice.
----
Please don't tease the Combot.  This has been a public service announcement from the Armed Services.
----
You may be a communist and not even know it.
----
Impotent rage, depression and alienation from your fellow clones are normal reactions to loyalty failures.  Confession followed by intensive rehabilitation in one of Alpha Complex's many re-education spas is the first and best treatment.
----
Individuals denied authorization for voluntary suicide are prohibited from filing a request for summary execution.  The penalty will be summary execution.
Just say 'No' to Secret Societies.  This has been a public service announcement from Internal Security.
----
Sectors which do not meet their treason report quotas each month cycle may be subject to remedial decimation procedures.  This has been a public service announcement from Internal Security.
----
Attention all Trouble-shooters.  Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid, for the Computer goes with you.
----
PLC is pleased to announce that Food Vat accidents are down 5% during the past Month cycle.  All citizens are advised to add supplementary protein capsules to their daily intake regimen. 
----
Citizens are advised not to come in contact with a yellow fog that has been emitted from the R & D facility in Sector MSD.  In the event this occurs, proceed as quickly as possible to the recycling tanks.
----
The commie has no regard for the life or welfare of clones.  The computer is your friend. 
----
Citizen ~Johnnie-B-GDD.  Please report to RIP sector recreation gulag.
----
As part of economic stimulus, all illegal transactions are subject to the same sales tax as legal transactions.  Failure to pay, collect or remit said revenue is treason.
----
This is a product recall announcement from PLC.  Cans of Experimental Bouncy Joy Beverage purchased prior to the termination of production 5 year-cycles ago are being recalled and should be turned in immediately.  Research has determined that consumption of Bouncy Joy Beverage leads to aneurisms, cardiac arrhythmias and kidney failure.  
----
Citizen ~Zak-R-OFF report to Information Control in Sector SID for therapeutic nerve stapling immediately.
----
Your attention please.  As part of administrative efficiency, the letter B will replace the letter Q in all Sector Codes.  Failure to use the updated sector codes will be considered treason.
----
It's 10 p.m. Do you know where your creche-mates are?
----
Attention all citizens.  As part of community spirit, all clones are to exchange boots with the nearest clone immediately.
----
Be all that you can be! Find your future in ~IntSec.
----
The owner of a severed arm found stuck within the delivery shoot of a ~VendoBot in Sector AMP may claim it at that sector's ~IntSec facility.
----
"If you're happy and you know it clap you hands…"
----
How great is the love the computer has lavished on us, that we should be called the clones of Alpha Complex.
----
~IntSec has released the following statement: There is no truth in the rumor that HIL sector is alive with the sound of music.  Rumors are treasonous.  If you heard this rumor and have not reported yourself, please remediate this oversight in the nearest confessional booth.

(From 2nd Edition Paranioa GM's Screen)

Mine eyes have seen the coming of another Commie horde,
If I can hold them off alone Hot Fun is my reward,
"Please engage the menace, Citizen" I hear on my comcord,
When will the Vultures arrive?

(Chorus)
Glory, Glory, Hail Computer
Glory, Glory, Hail Computer
Glory, Glory, Hail Computer
My clone keeps marching on.

They're advancing on all sides now and I'll soon be overrun,
I try to open fire but there's a malfunction with my gun,
So I toss a nuke grenade and then turn tail and run,
When will the Vultures arrive?

(Chorus)

The Commies are all vapor now and for that I'm real glad,
My geiger-counter indicates I took a thousand rad,
I check with the Computer and find out that's not too bad,
When will the docbot arrive?

(Chorus)

by ~Queen-B-GAY-5

~Steve-R walks warily with his team
Thinking "Commies must all die"
Ain't no sound but the metal gleams
Flamethrowers ready to fry
Are you ready? Are you ready for this?
Are you armed to the proverbial teeth?
Out of the doorway the slug fire rips
Repeated 'til the sound of defeat

Another clone burned to dust
Another clone burned to dust
And another clone gone, and another clone gone
Another clone's burned to dust
Hey, I'm gonna get you too
Another clone burned to dust
...

by ~Brusprin-G-STN-3

BORN, IN SECTOR ~T-R-K, 
BORN, IN SECTOR ~T-R-K, I was
BORN, IN SECTOR ~T-R-K

[instrumental interlude]

Got in a little 'Complex jam,
Computer sent me to get some man.

It sent me off to a far-away Sector,
To go and kill a 'Complex defector.
Oh, I was

BORN, IN SECTOR ~T-R-K, 
BORN, IN SECTOR ~T-R-K, I was
BORN, IN SECTOR ~T-R-K

Got my slugthrower and some clips,
And prep'd for my Autocar trip.

I found that Commie, that ol' bum,
So I pumped his ass full o'dum-dum.
Oh, I was

BORN, IN SECTOR ~T-R-K, 
BORN, IN SECTOR ~T-R-K, I was
BORN, IN SECTOR ~T-R-K

ANN News Wire, CRR Sector - Central Processing Unit's famed service firm Complex Initiatives CPU is turning to the citizens of Alpha Complex for help in designing a new slogan.

"Mandates are all about the people," said ~Boris-B-VIE-7, the ~Vice-Overlord of Public Relations at CICPU. "So we thought, why not turn over our slogan to the people? Um, that doesn't sound Communistic to you, does it?"

The current slogan is, 'For A More Efficient Complex,' and is considered by CPU to be out of date with CICPU's new mission. Previously, CICPU's only task was to publish new mandates on ~AlphaNet. With the untimely demolition of the offices of rival firm Project Initiatives CPU, CICPU has taken on new responsibilities.

"The loss of the entire PICPU files, records, and staff to a perfectly normal and unsuspicious power overload was tragic," ~Boris-B said. "However, CICPU was happy to pick up the extra work to continue serving The Computer. Now we want a new slogan to go along with our new budget. Mission, I mean. Our new mission."

Citizens of all clearances are urged to visit the CICPU netsite and submit a new slogan. With the help of loyal citizens like you, this service firm is sure to be successful for yearcycles to come.

by 'Mr. Cloner'*
[* sung to the tune of 'Kerie' by Mr. Mister]

Carry a laser
Down the hall that I must travel
Carry a laser
Through the darkness of the nightcycle
Carry a laser
Where I'm going will you follow?
Carry a laser
On a transtube in the light..."

/***
| Name:|Clock2|
| Author:|Simon Baird|
| Description:|A skinnable, sizeable analog clock|
| Source:|http://tiddlyspot.com/mptw/#Clock2|
| Requires:|Firefox 1.5.x or maybe Safari|
| Version:|1.0.3|
| Date:|4-Aug-2006|
!!Note
* Does not work in IE or Opera due to lack of canvas support.
* If you make a nice skin send it to me and I will include it here.
!!Ideas
* Can we support IE with this? http://sourceforge.net/projects/excanvas
* Skin should specify order of drawing so things can be on top of other things
* Fix it so we can have filled and/or stroked elements
* Skin should allow any number of moving and static elements
* Make download and example for non-TW use
* Make floating draggable?
!!Examples
{{{
<<clock2 fancy>><<clock2 120>>
<<clock2 chunkySwiss>> <<clock2 60 chunkySwiss noSeconds>><<clock2 '{
	outerBorder: { lineWidth: 60, radius:55, color: "#dd8877", alpha: 1 },
	smallIndicator: { lineWidth: 4, startAt: 80, endAt: 95, color: "white", alpha: 1 },
	largeIndicator: { lineWidth: 12, startAt: 77, endAt: 89, color: "#dd8877", alpha: 1 },
	hourHand: { lineWidth: 15, startAt: -15, endAt: 50, color: "white", alpha: 1 },
	minuteHand: { lineWidth: 10, startAt: 24, endAt: 200, color: "#771100", alpha: 0.6 },
	secondHand: { lineWidth: 3, startAt: 22, endAt: 83, color: "green", alpha: 0 },
	secondDecoration: { lineWidth: 1, startAt: 52, radius: 26, fillColor: "white", color: "red", alpha: 0.2 }
}'>>

}}}
<<clock2 fancy>><<clock2 120>>
<<clock2 chunkySwiss>> <<clock2 60 chunkySwiss noSeconds>><<clock2 '{
	outerBorder: { lineWidth: 60, radius:55, color: "#dd8877", alpha: 1 },
	smallIndicator: { lineWidth: 4, startAt: 80, endAt: 95, color: "white", alpha: 1 },
	largeIndicator: { lineWidth: 12, startAt: 77, endAt: 89, color: "#dd8877", alpha: 1 },
	hourHand: { lineWidth: 15, startAt: -15, endAt: 50, color: "white", alpha: 1 },
	minuteHand: { lineWidth: 10, startAt: 24, endAt: 200, color: "#771100", alpha: 0.6 },
	secondHand: { lineWidth: 3, startAt: 22, endAt: 83, color: "green", alpha: 0 },
	secondDecoration: { lineWidth: 1, startAt: 52, radius: 26, fillColor: "white", color: "red", alpha: 0.2 }
}'>>

See also BigClock.
!!Code
***/
//{{{

window.CoolClock = function(canvasId,displayRadius,skinId,showSecondHand) {
	return this.init(canvasId,displayRadius,skinId,showSecondHand);
}

CoolClock.config = {
	clockTracker: {},
	tickDelay: 1000,
	longTickDelay: 15000,
	defaultRadius: 85,
	renderRadius: 100,
	defaultSkin: "paranoid",
	skins:	{
		// try making your own...
		paranoid: {
			outerBorder: { lineWidth: 60, radius:55, color: "grey", alpha: 1 },
			smallIndicator: { lineWidth: 4, startAt: 60, endAt: 95, color: "white", alpha: 1 },
			largeIndicator: { lineWidth: 12, startAt: 77, endAt: 89, color: "#000000", alpha: 1 },
			hourHand: { lineWidth: 10, startAt: 24, endAt: 50, color: "blue", alpha: 0.6 },
			minuteHand: { lineWidth: 4, startAt: 24, endAt: 100, color: "#8080ff", alpha: 0.5 },
			secondHand: { lineWidth: 3, startAt: 22, endAt: 83, color: "white", alpha: 0.8 },
			secondDecoration: { lineWidth: 3, startAt: 52, radius: 26, fillColor: "#a0a0ff", color: "red", alpha: 0.3 }
		},
		swissRail: {
			outerBorder: { lineWidth: 1, radius:95, color: "black", alpha: 1 },
			smallIndicator: { lineWidth: 2, startAt: 89, endAt: 93, color: "black", alpha: 1 },
			largeIndicator: { lineWidth: 4, startAt: 80, endAt: 93, color: "black", alpha: 1 },
			hourHand: { lineWidth: 8, startAt: -15, endAt: 50, color: "black", alpha: 1 },
			minuteHand: { lineWidth: 7, startAt: -15, endAt: 75, color: "black", alpha: 1 },
			secondHand: { lineWidth: 1, startAt: -20, endAt: 85, color: "red", alpha: 1 },
			secondDecoration: { lineWidth: 1, startAt: 70, radius: 4, fillColor: "red", color: "red", alpha: 1 }
		},
		chunkySwiss: {
			outerBorder: { lineWidth: 5, radius:97, color: "black", alpha: 1 },
			smallIndicator: { lineWidth: 4, startAt: 89, endAt: 93, color: "black", alpha: 1 },
			largeIndicator: { lineWidth: 8, startAt: 80, endAt: 93, color: "black", alpha: 1 },
			hourHand: { lineWidth: 12, startAt: -15, endAt: 60, color: "black", alpha: 1 },
			minuteHand: { lineWidth: 10, startAt: -15, endAt: 85, color: "black", alpha: 1 },
			secondHand: { lineWidth: 4, startAt: -20, endAt: 85, color: "red", alpha: 1 },
			secondDecoration: { lineWidth: 2, startAt: 70, radius: 8, fillColor: "red", color: "red", alpha: 1 }
		},
		fancy: {
			outerBorder: { lineWidth: 5, radius:95, color: "green", alpha: 0.7 },
			smallIndicator: { lineWidth: 1, startAt: 80, endAt: 93, color: "black", alpha: 0.4 },
			largeIndicator: { lineWidth: 1, startAt: 30, endAt: 93, color: "black", alpha: 0.5 },
			hourHand: { lineWidth: 8, startAt: -15, endAt: 50, color: "blue", alpha: 0.7 },
			minuteHand: { lineWidth: 7, startAt: -15, endAt: 92, color: "red", alpha: 0.7 },
			secondHand: { lineWidth: 10, startAt: 80, endAt: 85, color: "blue", alpha: 0.3 },
			secondDecoration: { lineWidth: 1, startAt: 30, radius: 50, fillColor: "blue", color: "red", alpha: 0.15 }
		}
	}
};

CoolClock.prototype = {
	init: function(canvasId,displayRadius,skinId,showSecondHand) {
		this.canvasId = canvasId;
		this.displayRadius = displayRadius || CoolClock.config.defaultRadius;
		this.skinId = skinId || CoolClock.config.defaultSkin;
		this.showSecondHand = typeof showSecondHand == "boolean" ? showSecondHand : true;
		this.tickDelay = CoolClock.config[ this.showSecondHand ? "tickDelay" : "longTickDelay"];

		this.canvas = document.getElementById(canvasId);
		this.canvas.setAttribute("width",this.displayRadius*2);
		this.canvas.setAttribute("height",this.displayRadius*2);

		this.renderRadius = CoolClock.config.renderRadius; 

		var scale = this.displayRadius / this.renderRadius;
		this.ctx = this.canvas.getContext("2d");
		this.ctx.scale(scale,scale);

		CoolClock.config.clockTracker[canvasId] = this;
		this.tick();
		return this;
	},

	fullCircle: function(skin) {
		this.fullCircleAt(this.renderRadius,this.renderRadius,skin);
	},

	fullCircleAt: function(x,y,skin) {
		with (this.ctx) {
			save();
			globalAlpha = skin.alpha;
			lineWidth = skin.lineWidth;
			arc(x, y, skin.radius, 0, 2*Math.PI, false);
			if (skin.fillColor) {
				fillStyle = skin.fillColor
				fill();
			}
			else {
				// XXX why not stroke and fill
				strokeStyle = skin.color;
				stroke();
			}
			restore();
		}
	},

	radialLineAtAngle: function(angleFraction,skin) {
		with (this.ctx) {
			save();
			translate(this.renderRadius,this.renderRadius);
			rotate(Math.PI * (2 * angleFraction - 0.5));
			globalAlpha = skin.alpha;
			strokeStyle = skin.color;
			lineWidth = skin.lineWidth;
			if (skin.radius) {
				this.fullCircleAt(skin.startAt,0,skin)
			}
			else {
				beginPath();
				moveTo(skin.startAt,0)
				lineTo(skin.endAt,0);
				stroke();
			}
			restore();
		}
	},

	render: function(hour,min,sec) {
		var skin = CoolClock.config.skins[this.skinId];
		this.ctx.clearRect(0,0,this.renderRadius*2,this.renderRadius*2);

		this.fullCircle(skin.outerBorder);

		for (var i=0;i<60;i++)
			this.radialLineAtAngle(i/60,skin[ i%5 ? "smallIndicator" : "largeIndicator"]);
				
		this.radialLineAtAngle((hour+min/60)/12,skin.hourHand);
		this.radialLineAtAngle((min+sec/60)/60,skin.minuteHand);
		if (this.showSecondHand) {
			this.radialLineAtAngle(sec/60,skin.secondHand);
			this.radialLineAtAngle(sec/60,skin.secondDecoration);
		}
	},


	nextTick: function() {
		setTimeout("CoolClock.config.clockTracker['"+this.canvasId+"'].tick()",this.tickDelay);
	},

	stillHere: function() {
		return document.getElementById(this.canvasId) != null;
	},

	refreshDisplay: function() {
		var now = new Date();
		this.render(now.getHours(),now.getMinutes(),now.getSeconds());
	},

	tick: function() {
		if (this.stillHere()) {
			this.refreshDisplay()
			this.nextTick();
		}
	}
}



config.macros.clock2 = {
	counter: 0,
	handler: function (place,macroName,params,wikifier,paramString,tiddler) {
		var size,skin,seconds,skinData;
		for (var i=0;i<params.length;i++)
			if (/^\d+$/.exec(params[i]))
				size = params[i];
			else if (params[i] == "noSeconds")
				seconds = false;
			else if (/^\{/.exec(params[i]))
				eval("skinData = " + params[i]);
			else
				skin = params[i];
		if (skinData) {
			CoolClock.config.skins.customSkin = skinData;
			skin = "customSkin";
		}
		var canvas = createTiddlyElement(place,"canvas","clockcanvas"+this.counter);
		var clock = new CoolClock("clockcanvas"+this.counter,size,skin,seconds);
		this.counter++;
	}
}

//}}}

by ~Donhenl-Y-EGL-3

Nobody in the halls
Nobody left alive
I smell it in the air
They've all been vaporized

Empty Sector
Empty transtube
The ~VidShows play alone
I'm stopping by your ~DomUnit
Oh no, you're not home

But I can see you
Your Reflec shining in the ~SynthSun
You got your Ice Gun cocked
And your ~InfraSpecs on, Commie

But I can tell you
My hate for you will still be strong
After the clones of Sector SMR are gone
...

~Vince-R-PPD-5 received the Savior of the Complex award for his role in stopping the Cold Fun Bandit.

/***
|''Name:''|CryptoFunctionsPlugin|
|''Description:''|Support for cryptographic functions|
***/
//{{{
if(!version.extensions.CryptoFunctionsPlugin) {
version.extensions.CryptoFunctionsPlugin = {installed:true};

//--
//-- Crypto functions and associated conversion routines
//--

// Crypto "namespace"
function Crypto() {}

// Convert a string to an array of big-endian 32-bit words
Crypto.strToBe32s = function(str)
{
	var be = Array();
	var len = Math.floor(str.length/4);
	var i, j;
	for(i=0, j=0; i<len; i++, j+=4) {
		be[i] = ((str.charCodeAt(j)&0xff) << 24)|((str.charCodeAt(j+1)&0xff) << 16)|((str.charCodeAt(j+2)&0xff) << 8)|(str.charCodeAt(j+3)&0xff);
	}
	while (j<str.length) {
		be[j>>2] |= (str.charCodeAt(j)&0xff)<<(24-(j*8)%32);
		j++;
	}
	return be;
};

// Convert an array of big-endian 32-bit words to a string
Crypto.be32sToStr = function(be)
{
	var str = "";
	for(var i=0;i<be.length*32;i+=8)
		str += String.fromCharCode((be[i>>5]>>>(24-i%32)) & 0xff);
	return str;
};

// Convert an array of big-endian 32-bit words to a hex string
Crypto.be32sToHex = function(be)
{
	var hex = "0123456789ABCDEF";
	var str = "";
	for(var i=0;i<be.length*4;i++)
		str += hex.charAt((be[i>>2]>>((3-i%4)*8+4))&0xF) + hex.charAt((be[i>>2]>>((3-i%4)*8))&0xF);
	return str;
};

// Return, in hex, the SHA-1 hash of a string
Crypto.hexSha1Str = function(str)
{
	return Crypto.be32sToHex(Crypto.sha1Str(str));
};

// Return the SHA-1 hash of a string
Crypto.sha1Str = function(str)
{
	return Crypto.sha1(Crypto.strToBe32s(str),str.length);
};

// Calculate the SHA-1 hash of an array of blen bytes of big-endian 32-bit words
Crypto.sha1 = function(x,blen)
{
	// Add 32-bit integers, wrapping at 32 bits
	add32 = function(a,b)
	{
		var lsw = (a&0xFFFF)+(b&0xFFFF);
		var msw = (a>>16)+(b>>16)+(lsw>>16);
		return (msw<<16)|(lsw&0xFFFF);
	};
	// Add five 32-bit integers, wrapping at 32 bits
	add32x5 = function(a,b,c,d,e)
	{
		var lsw = (a&0xFFFF)+(b&0xFFFF)+(c&0xFFFF)+(d&0xFFFF)+(e&0xFFFF);
		var msw = (a>>16)+(b>>16)+(c>>16)+(d>>16)+(e>>16)+(lsw>>16);
		return (msw<<16)|(lsw&0xFFFF);
	};
	// Bitwise rotate left a 32-bit integer by 1 bit
	rol32 = function(n)
	{
		return (n>>>31)|(n<<1);
	};

	var len = blen*8;
	// Append padding so length in bits is 448 mod 512
	x[len>>5] |= 0x80 << (24-len%32);
	// Append length
	x[((len+64>>9)<<4)+15] = len;
	var w = Array(80);

	var k1 = 0x5A827999;
	var k2 = 0x6ED9EBA1;
	var k3 = 0x8F1BBCDC;
	var k4 = 0xCA62C1D6;

	var h0 = 0x67452301;
	var h1 = 0xEFCDAB89;
	var h2 = 0x98BADCFE;
	var h3 = 0x10325476;
	var h4 = 0xC3D2E1F0;

	for(var i=0;i<x.length;i+=16) {
		var j,t;
		var a = h0;
		var b = h1;
		var c = h2;
		var d = h3;
		var e = h4;
		for(j = 0;j<16;j++) {
			w[j] = x[i+j];
			t = add32x5(e,(a>>>27)|(a<<5),d^(b&(c^d)),w[j],k1);
			e=d; d=c; c=(b>>>2)|(b<<30); b=a; a = t;
		}
		for(j=16;j<20;j++) {
			w[j] = rol32(w[j-3]^w[j-8]^w[j-14]^w[j-16]);
			t = add32x5(e,(a>>>27)|(a<<5),d^(b&(c^d)),w[j],k1);
			e=d; d=c; c=(b>>>2)|(b<<30); b=a; a = t;
		}
		for(j=20;j<40;j++) {
			w[j] = rol32(w[j-3]^w[j-8]^w[j-14]^w[j-16]);
			t = add32x5(e,(a>>>27)|(a<<5),b^c^d,w[j],k2);
			e=d; d=c; c=(b>>>2)|(b<<30); b=a; a = t;
		}
		for(j=40;j<60;j++) {
			w[j] = rol32(w[j-3]^w[j-8]^w[j-14]^w[j-16]);
			t = add32x5(e,(a>>>27)|(a<<5),(b&c)|(d&(b|c)),w[j],k3);
			e=d; d=c; c=(b>>>2)|(b<<30); b=a; a = t;
		}
		for(j=60;j<80;j++) {
			w[j] = rol32(w[j-3]^w[j-8]^w[j-14]^w[j-16]);
			t = add32x5(e,(a>>>27)|(a<<5),b^c^d,w[j],k4);
			e=d; d=c; c=(b>>>2)|(b<<30); b=a; a = t;
		}

		h0 = add32(h0,a);
		h1 = add32(h1,b);
		h2 = add32(h2,c);
		h3 = add32(h3,d);
		h4 = add32(h4,e);
	}
	return Array(h0,h1,h2,h3,h4);
};


}
//}}}

[[Top Stories]]

/***
|''Name:''|DeprecatedFunctionsPlugin|
|''Description:''|Support for deprecated functions removed from core|
***/
//{{{
if(!version.extensions.DeprecatedFunctionsPlugin) {
version.extensions.DeprecatedFunctionsPlugin = {installed:true};

//--
//-- Deprecated code
//--

// @Deprecated: Use createElementAndWikify and this.termRegExp instead
config.formatterHelpers.charFormatHelper = function(w)
{
	w.subWikify(createTiddlyElement(w.output,this.element),this.terminator);
};

// @Deprecated: Use enclosedTextHelper and this.lookaheadRegExp instead
config.formatterHelpers.monospacedByLineHelper = function(w)
{
	var lookaheadRegExp = new RegExp(this.lookahead,"mg");
	lookaheadRegExp.lastIndex = w.matchStart;
	var lookaheadMatch = lookaheadRegExp.exec(w.source);
	if(lookaheadMatch && lookaheadMatch.index == w.matchStart) {
		var text = lookaheadMatch[1];
		if(config.browser.isIE)
			text = text.replace(/\n/g,"\r");
		createTiddlyElement(w.output,"pre",null,null,text);
		w.nextMatch = lookaheadRegExp.lastIndex;
	}
};

// @Deprecated: Use <br> or <br /> instead of <<br>>
config.macros.br = {};
config.macros.br.handler = function(place)
{
	createTiddlyElement(place,"br");
};

// Find an entry in an array. Returns the array index or null
// @Deprecated: Use indexOf instead
Array.prototype.find = function(item)
{
	var i = this.indexOf(item);
	return i == -1 ? null : i;
};

// Load a tiddler from an HTML DIV. The caller should make sure to later call Tiddler.changed()
// @Deprecated: Use store.getLoader().internalizeTiddler instead
Tiddler.prototype.loadFromDiv = function(divRef,title)
{
	return store.getLoader().internalizeTiddler(store,this,title,divRef);
};

// Format the text for storage in an HTML DIV
// @Deprecated Use store.getSaver().externalizeTiddler instead.
Tiddler.prototype.saveToDiv = function()
{
	return store.getSaver().externalizeTiddler(store,this);
};

// @Deprecated: Use store.allTiddlersAsHtml() instead
function allTiddlersAsHtml()
{
	return store.allTiddlersAsHtml();
}

// @Deprecated: Use refreshPageTemplate instead
function applyPageTemplate(title)
{
	refreshPageTemplate(title);
}

// @Deprecated: Use story.displayTiddlers instead
function displayTiddlers(srcElement,titles,template,unused1,unused2,animate,unused3)
{
	story.displayTiddlers(srcElement,titles,template,animate);
}

// @Deprecated: Use story.displayTiddler instead
function displayTiddler(srcElement,title,template,unused1,unused2,animate,unused3)
{
	story.displayTiddler(srcElement,title,template,animate);
}

// @Deprecated: Use functions on right hand side directly instead
var createTiddlerPopup = Popup.create;
var scrollToTiddlerPopup = Popup.show;
var hideTiddlerPopup = Popup.remove;

// @Deprecated: Use right hand side directly instead
var regexpBackSlashEn = new RegExp("\\\\n","mg");
var regexpBackSlash = new RegExp("\\\\","mg");
var regexpBackSlashEss = new RegExp("\\\\s","mg");
var regexpNewLine = new RegExp("\n","mg");
var regexpCarriageReturn = new RegExp("\r","mg");

}
//}}}

The latest vidshow from HPD&MC, Eat This!, is another hit and has started a small but happy cafeteria movement.

*~Keira-B-LKL-6 unveiles her new line of ''jumpsuits with lower-clearance trim'' which is sure to be a new fashion trend.
*''~UNotME'' begins concert tour with only seven fatalities at their first show.
*~Tella-O-MLY only won ''17 awards'' at the 134^^th^^ Annual HPD&MC Vidscreen Awards, prompting an immediate investigation.
*''~Tella-O-MLY'' denies staring in the upcoming vidfile, //Outdoors 5: Return to Camp Killimall//.
*Signed copies of ''//'Let's Be Honest Here - Muties Stink!'//'' by ~Phillip-B-DRT-5 are available at your local ~TextFile Barn.
*~Manny-O, beloved sidekick from ''//Treason Trappers//'', to undergo surgery for decapitated head.
*~Tella-O-MLY received ''a record 39 nominations'' for the upcoming 134^^th^^ Annual HPD&MC Vidscreen Awards.
*Tickets for this season's hottest vidfilm, ''The Lives and Deaths of ~Maurice-V-KLN 1-6'' go on sale tomorrow. 
*//That Show Trial Show// spinoff announced - ''That Show About That Show Trial Show.''
*Much-loved comedy ''That's My Commie!'' on hiatus after actors unmasked as real Commies.

by 'The ~IntSec Police'

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every rule you break
Every step you take
We'll be watching you
...

by 'Dire Clones'*
[sung to the tune of 'Money for Nothin' by Dire Straits]

Look at them Vultures
That's the way you do it
You kill the Commies on the ~VidShow screen
That ain't scrubbin'
That's the way you do it
Get yer glory for killin'
Algaechips for free
...

ANN News Wire, LDF Sector - Housing, Preservation and Development & Mind Control has created a series of posters to drive their new INFRARED motivational campaign, "Work Harder, Not Smarter."

"We've wanted to do this INFRARED campaign for some time," said ~Norma-G-SEY-3, the head of HPD&MC's firm Motivated Motivators MC. "Finally, our former-supervisor was revealed as the traitor he was and we could get past his incompetence and traitorous budget allocations."

The goal of the campaign is to remind our INFRARED citizens that hard work is the most important contribution to the workplace.

"Let those in charge do the thinking," ~Norma-G explained. "That's why they're high clearance! It's their job to think, and it's your job to work."

To view one of the posters, click here. With work like this, Alpha Complex industrial output will surely meet or exceed last year's goals.

ANN News Wire, CCH Sector - The health of some citizens within a densely populated water grid area may have been placed at risk due to Commie sabotage, says service firm Waterworks TS.

Water supplies to grid co-ordinates 004501/H to 010451/H may have been contaminated with a biological contaminant that may have contaminated the water and created contaminated water. Check on the underside of your quarter's supply unit for your grid co-ordinates to see if you are affected.

"Currently we are doing everything we can to solve this problem," reports CEO of Waterworks and shareholder in Armed Forces service firm ~BactiOffence, ~Wilson-B-YQP-4. "Citizens in the affected area are asked to refrain from drinking water until further notice."

Skilled ORANGE engineers have switched off the affected parts of the grid, and are now waiting for CPU to approve the necessary paperwork before pipe washing and eventual reconnection can begin. Initial reports stated water samples from the grid area, then under the control of rival service firm ~H2O-to-U, had been identified as polluted with Viral Strain #32, a new bioweapon recently developed by ~BactiOffence, but these have since been debunked as falsity by ~Wilson-B.

"If Friend Computer had sensed I had a hand in the evil deeds committed here today, it would not have entrusted my service firm with the decontamination effort," he retorted when asked. ~Wilson-B then invited reporters to tour around the inside of an infected reservoir, which was cheerfully declined.

We should all thank our friend The Computer, and its loyal and experienced service groups, for keeping our basic needs provided for, daycycle to daycycle.

by ~Bono-U-EDG-2

I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled the Complex walls
Only to face-melt you
Only to face-melt you
...

(Subversive version of the above)

I'm an Alpha Complex Commie.
Alpha Complex do or die.
A new clone version of my last five clones.
Like them, I know I'll soon die.
I'm not an Alpha Complex sweetheart.
Girls are just the same as boys.
Commie mutants beat computers.
Troubleshooters, phooie!
I'm not an Alpha Complex toy!

I'm an Alpha Complex Dandy.
Alpha Complex do or die.
A new clone version of my last five clones.
Like them I know I'll soon die.
I've got an Alpha Complex sweetheart.
Teela is my Alpha Joy.
Troubleshooters find the Commies.
Beat the mutants senseless.
I am an Alpha Complex boy!

I'm an Alpha Complex dandy.
Troubleshooter do or die.
A clone replacement of my former self.
Soon I will probably fry.
I've got to serve my friend Computer.
If I don't, I know I'll die.
Kill the Commie infiltrators,
Also Troubleshooters.
I am an Alpha Complex guy!

I'm just wild about mutie.
And mutie's wild about me.
Computerly blisses - - boos and kisses.
Commie's the way to be.
Life's sweet just like processed algae.
And just like Teela on ~TeeVee.
Oh I'm just wild about muties.
And they're just wild about-
Cannot live without-
They're just wild about ME!

ANN Newswire - INDIGO citizens from every service group unveiled anew plan to revitalize creche education programs at the opening of the Alpha Complex Education Symposium and Trade Show, saying only drasticchange will keep millions of Junior Citizens from the seductive lure of Communism.
"Junior Citizens are extremely vulnerable to Commie propaganda because their minds are weak and unformed," said ~Tamara-I-FYT-5, acting HPD&MC ~Vice-President of Citizen Outreach Programs. "It is our duty to make sure we reach those weak minds first. We need to tell them what they like, want, and need before they start deciding that on their own."
Once Junior Citizens leave the creche, 24% must take at least one remedial loyalty course to master what they should have learned in the creche, ~IntSec figures show. ~Thomas-I-CCD-3, the Overcommander of ~IntSec Early Treason Detection Programs, said the most reliable predictor of loyalty in citizen is their exposure to challenging loyalty-generation courses during their stay in a crèche.
"This is an issue that concerns us all," ~Thomas-I said, "and HPD&MC should keep aware that all service groups will be involved in this, not just themselves."
The INDIGO citizens say they want to leave the symposium with specific plans for enacting policy through service firms. Likely to be included in these plans is Put Your Pencils Down, a licensed HPD&amp;MC firm, who has advocated programming teachbots with more rigorous lessons and tests for yearcycles.
Another firm, the Sector Teachbot Association R&amp;D, will likelybe disbanded after it was proved without a doubt that they are the cause of the current crisis. The firm's leaders have already been brainscrubbed as a message to other firms involved with Junior Citizen education.
We should all pause to reflect upon the wonder and glory due to all those who help Junior Citizens avoid treason. Have you done your part?

!!!Tombking Tumbles!
After failing to report a bot malfunction, citizen Tombking has been demoted to INFRARED for 2 days! That"ll learn him! When asked if they thought this punishment was harsh, a fellow citizen said:
>"Umm - FC ordered it, did he not? He did? Then I entirely agree with his verdict.  Tombking is a dirty traitor!"
!!!B3 Beverage Bother!
The B3 dispensor in our office recently began spouting R&D propaganda with every B3 it dispensed. Given that it was dispensing them for free, we haven"t complained yet, and we heartily endorse the great new "Free B3" idea so generously funded by R&D.
!!!~C-Bay News!
After 6 bids on the "Dinner with a Traitor" auction, it has reached the massive sum of 10 credits. 10? We at T3 wouldn"t give him 1! Hell, we wouldn"t accept money to eat with a traitor! An auction for a RED jumpsuit with boots has started, starting bid 30 credits, no bid yet. An auction for a crowbar has also had no bids yet. The Mark IV Warbot Mug has reached 26 credits on its last day, and the Trippple Cheeze Algae Chips are currently going for only 5 credits!
>>ADVERT:
>>HPD&MC is looking for eager citizens of RED and above to act in a variety of shows. Eager volunteers should contact ~El-R-KIN in ~High-Vision Studios or Janet Jump! In Hitchcock Studio.
!!!R&D Manage Even More Mistakes!
A recent R&D hydraulic leg has fired the clone testing it, a renowned ORANGE citizen, into the roof. Is this series of mistakes by R&D an underhand attempt at getting more mentions in The Troubleshooter Times? Is it just a sign of the gross incompetence levels present in R&D? Or is it a sign of things to come, when ALL legs will propel citizens into the ceiling? I don"t know about you, but I"ve taken the liberty of stapling myself to the floor, just in case.
!!!Letters:
All letters should be sent to ~GirdagFireskull, who reserves the right to edit them for spelling/tone/content, and forward them to ~IntSec.
>~Ath-R-TAR:
>
>Dear Sir/Madam,
>
>I am writing to complain about your unfair predudice of us Yellow Bands. We are like every other, normal, citizen. We feel like normal citizens. Do we not die if shot in the head? (Well, not Absorption mutants) Do we not need food to live? (Well, not Matter Eaters) Please could you apologise in your next edition. One of my jobs at RMHP is tring to reduce the mutant/normal barrier formed by the EVIL Anti-mutants. Please help in.....Please?
>
>Yours mutantly,
>Athatar
!!!Our Response:
Like every other normal citizen? Don"t make us laugh. You lot are FILTH, corrupted by your unclean genes! Is it just a coincidence that 100%, YES 100% of ALL ~CMTs are Mutants? Huh? And you call the ~Anti-Mutants evil&#8230;what about Psion? The mutant scum who make up that society are fighting to bring down Alpha Complex today! Mutants AREN"T to be trusted!

!!!Mutie Demotion (Un)Shock!
With only one citizen, Funksaw, being promoted to Orange clearance this week, the big news was the demotion of several Orange clearance registered mutants, such as Athatar, who works in ~HPD&MC, and ~Gor-R-ILA. It"s about time this happened, we say. Some of those muties were getting too big for their boots. Considering themselves as good as NORMAL citizens.
!!!~FemaleCitizen2!
Citizen Ryuu Tenshi has joined us in PLN, being only our second female citizen, along with ~Elle-R-KNO. She has recently started work in R&D, and is fitting in well, having already accidentally sawn off one leg. Hope you"ve been taking your hormone suppressants!
!!!Dinner with a Traitor!
Traitor Silent has put up the option to have dinner with him as a biddable item on ~C-Bay! What would IR dinner be like? Will the citizen who wins regret their decision? And why would anyone want to eat with a traitor anyway? In other ~C-Bay news, the Mark IV warbot mug has now reached a high bid of 25 credits. Auction ends tomorrow!
!!!Adam Dislikes The Troubleshooter Times!
Citizen ~Adam-O-LON has openly expressed dislike for the recent editions of the Troubleshooter Times, going so far as to damage Friend Computer"s property in order to not have to read it. To allow his side of the story, we at T3 would like to invite Adam to be interviewed for The Troubleshooter Times Sevenday edition

!!PROMOTIONS AND DEMOTIONS

Phase IV started with the demotion of everyone to RED clearance. With the citizens moving into their new RED quarters, there was bound to be some friction. Clones also had to start reporting for work at the Employment Station. In the Armed Forces, the regular drills and practises conducted by ~Expend-R-BLE saw him quickly promoted to ORANGE clearance, along with the technician ~Elle-R-KNO. From I~ntSec, Dystopian Rhetoric was quickly promoted to ORANGE clearance after some good work filling in reports, and Kwil from CPU also managed to get a promotion, along with ~El-R-KIN from HPD&MC. And finally, fr8monkey from PLC got a promotion for no apparent reason, but, as FC decided it, it must be right.

In the second week, there were many more promotions to ORANGE clearance handed out. From CPU, Zathril, jpcooper43, Javacake and ~GirdagFireskull. From PLC, the clone known as Tombking. From HPD&MC, Athatar, ~Adam-R-LON. From Tech Services, there was only ~Gor-R-ILA. From the Armed Forces, Pax and Jackal. From R&D, ~Bee-R-CAN and Lord Matthius. From Power Services, 2DMAN and Aratos. From ~IntSec, only Midnight achieved promotion. However, Silent was demoted to INFRARED clearance for bidding many times more than he had for a ~C-Bay item, then ignoring the orders of an ULTRAVIOLET. He was then taken away by Allandros for "interrogation"

!!GENERAL INFORMATION

#''The Great Sixday Funball Match!''
**See our other report for details of this enthralling spectacle.
#''The Food Vat incident.''
**No-one knows entirely what happened here, but several vats of Hot Fun were contaminated by clones swimming them, and an unknown Commie base nearby got torched. Also, the body of a registered mutant, jpcooper43, was found floating in a vat of Cold Fun. Still, at least it didn"t go to waste &#8211; Friend Computer in his benevolent kindness made the Cold Fun into Cold Fun bars for the INFRAREDS.
#''George.''
**Citizen ~Adam-R-LON has frequently referred to a certain "George", who no-one has ever seen. Citizens should be wary of anyone going by the name of George.
#''The ~Tella-O-MLY Fan Club!''
**Citizen jpcooper43 has set up a ~Tella-O-MLY Fan Club, along with ~GirdagFireskull. The fan club is for true Tella fans to meet, talk about the vidshows, compare merchandise, and complain about inconsistencies between episodes (the evil commie commander"s left glass eye is GREEN in episode 358, but YELLOW in episode 894!). Membership is 20 credits, and you get an official card.
#''CPU.''
**In CPU, rivalries broke out as a registered mutant, jpcooper43, was transferred to the group. After a series of&#8230;incidents, the situation seems to have stabilised, especially now Fieari has turned up to command CPU. Forms are being processed. Probably.
#''HPD&MC.''
**Under the leadership of ~Mike-V-LEM, the clones in HPD&MC embarked on a repainting crusade, until ordered to stop by the ULTRAVIOLETS. Also, citizen ~Adam-R-LON managed to injure himself by cutting off a fingertip. Thanks to the quick action of ~DoctorDocbot, the finger was saved.
#''Power Services.''
**Well, to be fair, all they"ve done is clean up their workplace. And argue. Not a great showing.
#''Tech Services.''
**They have fixed a B3 dispensor. And that"s it. Again, not that great a showing.
#''~IntSec.''
**In investigating Secret Societies, they have done well &#8211; certainly, Biggles has had many citizens at the ~IntSec loyalty parade. They also managed to locate and capture the traitor Silent.
#''PLC.''
**PLC have conducted a survey on the general population to discover what they really want. Having discovered this, what they are going to do about it is unknown. They have also successfully re-organised many parts of PLC.
#''Armed Forces.''
**The Armed Forces have had little to do so far, and have concentrated mostly on learning new skills and drills, in preparation for any future commie menace. ~Expend-O-BLE has been promoted to Sergeant by Allandros, and is leading the other clones in this.

!!!Neko ~No-Spleen!
Citizen ~NekoAbyss recently performed an inadvisable spleenectomy on himself. Thankfully, loyal ORANGE citizen ~Bee-O-CAN was willing to sacrifice one of his own spleens for Neko, though the debate as to whether the spleen was of a higher clearance than Neko is ongoing. It certainly LOOKED red.
!!!~Adam-O-LON Accuses Times Of Slander!
Citizen ~Adam-O-LON, when recently asked if he wanted to be interviewed for the Times, to give HIS side of recent events, replied:
>"Ok, you, look here. I"m not going to be interviewed by nobody, ok? You tell your superiors or whoever to stop writing bad stuff about me. I don"t even know how the HEL you know what goes on wherever I am. Just stop it, ok? I"m not taking it anymore, it"s slander, that"s what it is."
It turns out Adam is avoiding any public interviews, and is going as far as to try to TELL an ULTRAVIOLET, our own Friendly ~Frank-U, what to say! Can we tolerate this insubordination? And what about the abysmal grammar? The double negative in the second sentence is like acid to my eyes!
!!!Forever Blowing Bubbles.
Citizen ~CPUreaucrat recently swallowed a large amount of soap, causing him to permanently froth and bubble at the mouth. Whether this is purely due to the soap, or as a result of a mutation, we do not know.
!!!Bodyguards Available!
Armed forces are now allowing citizens to hire some of their personnel to act as bodyguards for other citizens. When asked why loyal citizens of Alpha Complex would need bodyguards, one member replied:
>"So they don"t have any "accidents", know what I mean?"
!!!CRASH Up and Running!
CRASH, or Complex Rapid Article Shipping Handlers, have opened up near PLC. They deal in moving items around PLN sector fast, and (hopefully) to the right place. We would like to use this opportunity to welcome this new ~Sub-Service Firm to Alpha Complex and remind them of our very reasonable advertising rates.

!!!Room Inspections!

~Mike-V-LEM and several other clones from HPD&MC have been carrying out random dorm inspections on the ORANGE and RED sleeping quarters. So far, nothing of particular importance has been found.
!!!New ~Rep-R-TER for T3!

~Rep-R-TER, a new clone from the vats, is now working for the Troubleshooter Times! It is her job to interview troubleshooters and more important personnel, to collect any mail for T3, and to collect any adverts for T3. Want something known? Why not advertise it in the ONLY sector-wide newsletter?
!!!The ~Bee-R-CANs Are On Me!

A new R&D invention, ~Bee-R-CANs, have proved a great hit with the batch of ~IRs sent to test them. Interviewed whilst testing, the following response was given:

>"I feel great! My worries, my cares, all floating away! Hey, want to see me walk around the edge of a food vat? And I know a great trick with ferretbots and lampshades!"
!!!Where is Fieari?

~Fieari-V-PNX, head of CPU, has been mysteriously absent for a long period of time. Probably fighting with a particularly awkward form.
!!!Washroom Woes.

The only washroom in PLN sector is now coated in unmentionable material, and a queue is forming, consisting of even a VIOLET clearance citizen. Scrubots are not meant to clean this, so the job will probably go to&#8230;<span style="font-size: 8px; line-height: normal;">*checks list* HPD&MC?  That"s not right&#8230;..err&#8230;&#8230;.R&D!  Yes!  R&D should clean the washrooms!
!!!~IntSec Idiocy

Every two-bit ~IntSec agent now has his own interrogation room, regardless of security clearance, need, or sanity. This has caused many of them to get ideas above their station. Some of the insolent ~REDs need to be put in their place, really.

!!!Correction.

In the last edition of T3, we wrongly called the R&D leg hydraulic. It was, in fact, spring powered. It still fired the clone into the roof, though.

!!!Green B3 for Sale!

An anonymous clone is selling a can of GREEN B3 for 50 credits.

!!!HEL Opens!
HEL subsector, a new area for INFRAREDS to live and work in, has opened! Now INFRAREDS can get back to being productive, useful members of Alpha Complex, and everyone else gets some free entertainment! Citizens Citron and dweccl have the......honour........of being demoted to INFRARED to try out the new sector! YAY!
!!!~C-Bay Subnet Scam!
Citizen ~Lu-R-KER has been accused of trying to sell an illegal item &#8211; the password to some Commie "Grey Subnet" on ~C-Bay. Thankfully, the watchful ~Gomer-B caught him quickly, and took him off to the ~IntSec Loyalty Parade! That CMT better learn&#8230;or else.
!!!Adam Attacks!
Citizen ~Adam-O-LON has attacked, yes, attacked a fellow citizen in the ORANGE quarters, accusing him of "selling out" about "George". This only serves to heighten the mystery surrounding this citizen. Is George an invisible mutant? A traitor? An imaginary friend? Only time (and possibly interrogation) will tell.
!!!R&D Succeed to Fail!
A new record in R&D, as their prosthetic bot limbs for citizen ~GirdagFireskull have gone haywire and broken within a day. Still, that"s better than Test Subject Alpha. Remember him? Rumour has it that you can still see the mark on the wall.

!!!One Man Army.
Citizen ~GirdagFireskull, after losing all his limbs in a ~FunBall game incident involving a chainsaw, has had them replaced by artificial bot limbs from R&D. Initial tests have shown them working well, with the limbs supporting his weight, and allowing quadruple the form-filling.
!!!Dourden"s Doom Room.
~IntSec grunt Lord Dourden has asked for Citizen X to report for interrogation under suspicion of being an EEEEEEEEVIL Commie Mutant Traitor. Anyone seeing Citizen X should direct him to the interrogation room.
!!!~CPUeurocrat!
Citizen ~CPUeurocrat has reported for work in (surprisingly) CPU, though has shown great initiative by already liasing with ~Adam-O-LON from R&D in order to conduct a cost-benefit analysis of the recent ~FunBall coverage.
!!!Bedbugs!
There has been an apparent outbreak of giant bedbugs in the RED quarters. Action will be taken on this as soon as the ~IntSec officers stop laughing.
!!!Tella on ~VidScreen!
The ~VidScreen in the ORANGE quarters is showing an episode of ~Tella-O-MLY"s adventures, and her battles against the evil commies! Don"t miss it (unless you"re RED). Also, the first ~Tella-O Appreciation Club meeting has started in the Activity Centre. Members and non-members welcome (only members get complementary snacks).
!!~C-Bay Auction News.
A Mark IV Warbot Mug is being sold on ~C-Bay by ~Gor-O-ILA. Current bid stands at 15 credits, and greymist08 is selling 5 packs of Trippple Cheeze Algae Chips, for which there is no current bid.

(to the tune of "It's All Over Now Baby Blue")

"You must leave now," the guardbot says.
"An' I don't think you'll last...
So keep your lasers handy,
You better draw 'em fast."
We understand your orders aren't much fun,
Running from a glowing Plasma Gun.
Look out now there's mutants coming through,
And it's all over now LEVEL BLUE.

RED LEVEL is for gamblers,
Better use your Mutant sense.
Take notes on all e-vents that are trea-son-ous.
The empty-headed Funbot's about to speak,
Emitting awful jokes you heard last week.
The complex is falling in on you,
And it's all over now LEVEL BLUE.

Leave your secret society behind,
The Computer calls for you.
Forget the friends you had
They have re-ported you...
The warbot that's breaking down your door,
Is programmed in a way you can't ignore...
Hope your next clone will try and start anew,
'Cause it's all over now LEVEL BLUE.

After working in the foodvats,
You're back at home,
And the smell from down there won't leave you alone...
Your next clone has just walked in the door,
He says, "report for termination number four."
The floor is now moving under you,
Oops, its all over now LEVEL BLUE...

by ~Chuck-B-ERY-2

Well way down in Sector LSA close to the Food Vats
A way up in the Blue-doms near the ~RailBot tracks
In a little domunit made of plast and synthwood
There lived a young clone named ~Johnny-B-GDE
He never ever learned to fill out forms so well
But he could use a Force Sword to send the muties to HEL

Go go
Go Johnny go go
...

Kelp! to feed my body.
Kelp! not just algae, buddy!
Kelp! don't even need a bun.
KELP!

When I was stronger so much stronger than today.
I used to eat french fries with ketchup everyday.
But now those days are gone and I'm just not really sure.
To be quite frank, ya know; did our lunch really once have fur?

Kelp! it taste so good now don't you know?
And it makes me want to crawl to bed and snore.
Help me keep my lunch up off the floor.
Won't you please, please ban kelp.

*[[What's The Matter With Him?]]
*[[New Refills!]]
*[[No Cold Fun Bandit]]
*[[Salad Fork Faux Pas]]
*[[Water Not Poisoned]]
*[[Eat This!]]
*[[No Riot]]
*[[Traitor Terminated!]]
*[[Traitor Arrested!]]
*[[Traitor Confesses!]]
*[[Cold Fun Bandit Stopped]]
*[[Ring Busted]]

/***
|''Name:''|LegacyStrikeThroughPlugin|
|''Description:''|Support for legacy (pre 2.1) strike through formatting|
|''Version:''|1.0.2|
|''Date:''|Jul 21, 2006|
|''Source:''|http://www.tiddlywiki.com/#LegacyStrikeThroughPlugin|
|''Author:''|MartinBudden (mjbudden (at) gmail (dot) com)|
|''License:''|[[BSD open source license]]|
|''CoreVersion:''|2.1.0|
***/

//{{{
// Ensure that the LegacyStrikeThrough Plugin is only installed once.
if(!version.extensions.LegacyStrikeThroughPlugin) {
version.extensions.LegacyStrikeThroughPlugin = {installed:true};

config.formatters.push(
{
	name: "legacyStrikeByChar",
	match: "==",
	termRegExp: /(==)/mg,
	element: "strike",
	handler: config.formatterHelpers.createElementAndWikify
});

} //# end of "install only once"
//}}}

~Rikima-R-TIN-6*
[*sung to the tune of 'Livin' La Vida Loca' by Ricky Martin]

She's into ~SuperTransBots
~ComBots and Teela dolls
I feel a premonition 
That girl's gonna make me fall
She's into new sensation 
New kicks and RED flashlight
She's got a new addiction 
For every day and night
She'll make you take your 'specs off
And go dancin' in a transtube lane
She'll make you live a Complex life
Or she'll take away your pain 
Like a slug round to your brain 
Upside inside out
She's livin' in Sector LCA
...

*Be sure to remind ''~Bobby-PLG'' to finish every can of Bouncy Bubble Beverage. He let half a can go to waste last weekcycle!
*~Jay-DRF-1 won the ''DRF Sector ~HotFun Eating Contest #112''. ~Jay-DRF-2 accepted the trophy.
*Please ''stop hitting'' ~Ronald-R-CCC-2. He is no longer under public censure for striking a bot.
*Expect ''temporary transbot delays'' due to router software upgrades. This will eventually improve on-time arrivals by 20%. 
*''~Adam-Y-CVM-2'' is currently under censure for filesharing. <a href="mailto:biggles@friendcomputer.net">Send him a cmail</a> and remind him how filesharing hurts everyone. 
*''Security camera lag'' down 37% thanks to hard-working citizens from ~Eye-Spy service firm. 
*Citizen ~Gina-GGT-1 ''cut her commute'' by 13 minutes. She will receive a bonus 13 minutes of PLC warehouse distribution duty.
*''New router software upgrades'' to transbot system near completion. This will eventually improve on-time arrivals by 70%.
*''Router software upgrades'' to the transbot grid continue on track. This will eventually improve on-time arrivals by 40%. 
*Happiness Hymn #426, '''Oh Computer, We Adore Thee''' by ~Sergio-B-PMD-2 announced as part of this weekcycle's PA system playlist.

[[Latest News]]
[[Top Stories]]
[[Service Firm News]]
[[Sports News]]
[[Entertainment News]]
[[Loyalty News]]
[[Songbook]]

<<clock2>>
----

<<QOTD AdvertisingQuotes noclick 20000>>

Scrubots rejoiced at the opening of the SSE Sector cleaning fluid refilling station.

~Vince-R-PPD-6 uncovered evidence that his previous clone was not the Cold Fun Bandit.

~IntSec reports there was no riot yesterday in the DSA Sector cafeterias, especially not over running out of Cold Fun.

~Securit-E-Blanket, an Internal Security licensed firm, released 26security fixes today for the Series 1300 PDC and urged all citizens to install them quickly to prevent traitors from hijacking their Personal Digital Companions.

Fifteen of the fixes were marked "critical," six were marked"super-critical", three were marked "really super critical honestly,"and one was marked "for the love of FC install this now."

The software fixes close vulnerabilities in PDC operating system and mandatory optional software bundles, including the Spelunker Plus netbrowser, ~PLCOnline instant messaging program and ~HappySmileDanceNow! media player.

"This monthcycle had more security updates than we had intended," conceded ~Jill-G-BGJ-4, a digital security specialist for ~IntSec. "Traitors never stop, and neither do we. These latest updates fix all problems and render the traitors helpless."

When a YELLOW reporter asked about her predecesor, ~Jill-G-BGJ-3,being arrested for membership in the Computer Phreak society,~Jill-G-BGJ-4 placed the reporter under probation and demoted him to RED.

A PDC may have been hijaked by traitors if it displays any of the following signs: repeated beeping, unusual crashes, power cycling,autodialing ~ULTRAVIOLETs, or filesharing.

Citizens are urged to visit http://RED.securiteblanket.ins.eds/oopsand install all of the updates. They are also reminded that they are liable for any nefarious acts connected to their PDC if the fixes are not installed.

Thankfully, we live in a utopia where hard-working Internal Security agents are always there to serve and protect.

<!--{{{-->
<div class='header' macro='gradient vert [[ColorPalette::Background]] [[ColorPalette::PrimaryLight]]'>
<div class='headerShadow'>
<div class='QOTD' refresh='content' tiddler='QuoteOfTheDay'></div>
<span class='siteTitle' refresh='content' tiddler='SiteTitle'></span>&nbsp;
<span class='siteSubtitle' refresh='content' tiddler='SiteSubtitle'></span>
</div>
<div class='headerForeground'>
<span class='siteTitle' refresh='content' tiddler='SiteTitle'></span>&nbsp;
<span class='siteSubtitle' refresh='content' tiddler='SiteSubtitle'></span>
</div>
</div>
<div id='mainMenu' refresh='content' tiddler='MainMenu'></div>
<div id='sidebar'>
<div id='sidebarOptions' refresh='content' tiddler='SideBarOptions'></div>
<div id='sidebarTabs' refresh='content' force='true' tiddler='SideBarTabs'></div>
</div>
<div id='displayArea'>
<div id='messageArea'></div>
<div id='tiddlerDisplay'></div>
</div>
<!--}}}-->

<<gradient vert #ffffff #ffdddd #ff8888>>Reviewing information on Ultraviolet citizens is treasonous.  Please report to the nearest convenient confession booth.>>

<<QOTD TheComputersQuotes noclick inline 90000>>

/***
|Name|QuoteOfTheDayPlugin|
|Source|http://www.TiddlyTools.com/#QuoteOfTheDayPlugin|
|Version|1.3.0|
|Author|Eric Shulman - ELS Design Studios|
|License|http://www.TiddlyTools.com/#LegalStatements <br>and [[Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 2.5 License|http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5/]]|
|~CoreVersion|2.1|
|Type|plugin|
|Requires||
|Overrides||
|Description|Display a randomly selected "quote of the day" from a list defined in a separate tiddler|

!!!!!Usage
<<<
{{{<<QOTD tiddlername norandom noclick inline cookie:cookiename delay>>}}}
* ''tiddlername'' is the name of a tiddler containing your list of quotes, each separated by a horizontal line (use {{{----}}} on a line by itself).
* Each time the macro is rendered it will display a different quotation, selected at random from the specified tiddler.  To display quotes in the sequence in which they occur in the tiddler, you can use the ''norandom'' keyword.
* When using ''norandom'', you can also specify an optional ''cookie:cookiename'' parameter which will be used to track the //index// of the next quote to be displayed, so that each subsequent rendering of the macro can continue the sequence of quotes as entered in the source tiddler, even in between browser sessions.
* By default, clicking on the rendered quote will select and display another random quote.  Use the optional ''noclick'' keyword parameter to disable this "onClick" handling.
* By default, a clickable or timed quote will be displayed insider a 'slider' panel, so that standard TW animation effects will be used.  However, slider panels are always rendered as "block-level" content, forcing a newline both before and after the slider panel.  Use the ''inline'' keyword parameter to bypass this side-effect and display a clickable/timed quote without automatically adding surrounding linebreaks.
* The quote can also be refreshed automatically, by specifying a numeric ''delay'' parameter (in milliseconds) which enables a countdown timer.  When the mouse is over the quote, the timer is automatically stopped.  Moving the mouse away from the quote content restarts the timer.
<<<
!!!!!Example
<<<
{{{<<QOTD Quotations 10000>>}}}
<<QOTD Quotations 10000>>

{{{<<QOTD SiteNews norandom 10000>>}}}
<<QOTD SiteNews norandom 10000>>

<<<
!!!!!Installation
<<<
import (or copy/paste) the following tiddlers into your document:
''QuoteOfTheDayPlugin'' (tagged with <<tag systemConfig>>)
^^documentation and javascript for QuoteOfTheDay handling^^
<<<
!!!!!Revision History
<<<
''2007.08.06 [1.3.0]'' added support for "cookie:cookiename" param
''2007.05.03 [1.2.1]'' corrected logic for handling "inline" display (i.e., bypass slider and use of 'block' for quote elements)
''2007.05.03 [1.2.0]'' added sliderPanel wrapper around quote to take advantage of core-supported slider animation.  Use "noslider"/"inline" keyword param to suppress use of slider.  Also added tooltips for click, delay, and click+delay modes.
''2007.04.16 [1.1.2]'' code cleanup
''2007.04.16 [1.1.1]'' onClick handling now supports sequential as well as random order
''2007.04.14 [1.1.0]'' added onClick handling for selecting and display a new random quote
''2005.10.21 [1.0.0]'' Initial Release
<<<
!!!!!Credits
<<<
This feature was developed by EricShulman from [[ELS Design Studios|http:/www.elsdesign.com]].
Based on a suggestion by M.Russula
<<<
!!!!!Code
***/
//{{{
version.extensions.QOTD = {major: 1, minor: 3, revision: 0, date: new Date(2007,8,6)};
config.macros.QOTD = {
	clickTooltip: "click to view another item",
	timerTooltip: "auto-timer stopped...  'mouseout' to restart timer",
	timerClickTooltip: "auto-timer stopped...  click to view another item, or 'mouseout' to restart timer",
	handler:
	function(place,macroName,params) {
		var tid=params.shift(); // source tiddler containing HR-separated quotes
		var p=params.shift();
		var click=true; // allow click for next item
		var inline=false; // wrap in slider for animation effect
		var random=true; // pick an item at random (default for "quote of the day" usage)
		var cookie=""; // default to no cookie
		while (p) {
			if (p.toLowerCase()=="noclick") var click=false;
			if (p.toLowerCase()=="inline") var inline=true;
			if (p.toLowerCase()=="norandom") var random=false;
			if (p.toLowerCase().substr(0,7)=="cookie:") var cookie=p.substr(8);
			if (!isNaN(p)) var delay=p;
			p=params.shift();
		}
		if ((click||delay) && !inline) {
			var panel = createTiddlyElement(null,"div",null,"sliderPanel");
			panel.style.display="none";
			place.appendChild(panel);
			var here=createTiddlyElement(panel,click?"a":"span",null,"QOTD");
		}
		else
			var here=createTiddlyElement(place,click?"a":"span",null,"QOTD");
		here.id=(new Date()).convertToYYYYMMDDHHMMSSMMM()+Math.random().toString(); // unique ID
		here.setAttribute("tid",tid);
		if (delay) here.setAttribute("delay",delay);
		here.setAttribute("random",random);
		here.setAttribute("cookie",cookie);
		if (click) {
			here.title=this.clickTooltip
			if (!inline) here.style.display="block";
			here.setAttribute("href","javascript:;");
			here.onclick=function(event)
				{ config.macros.QOTD.showNextItem(this,this.getAttribute("tid")); }
		}
		here.setAttribute("nextItem",config.options["txtQOTD_"+cookie]?parseInt(config.options["txtQOTD_"+cookie])-1:0);
		config.macros.QOTD.showNextItem(here,tid);
		if (delay) {
			here.title=click?this.timerClickTooltip:this.timerTooltip
			here.onmouseover=function(event)
				{ clearTimeout(this.ticker); };
			here.onmouseout=function(event)
				{ this.ticker=setTimeout("config.macros.QOTD.tick('"+this.id+"')",this.getAttribute("delay")); };
			here.ticker=setTimeout("config.macros.QOTD.tick('"+here.id+"')",delay);
		}
	},
	tick: function(id) {
		var here=document.getElementById(id); if (!here) return;
		config.macros.QOTD.showNextItem(here,here.getAttribute("tid"));
		here.ticker=setTimeout("config.macros.QOTD.tick('"+id+"')",here.getAttribute("delay"));
	},
	showNextItem:
	function (here,tid) {
		// hide containing slider panel (if any)
		var p=here.parentNode;
		if (p.className=="sliderPanel") p.style.display = "none"

		// get a new quote, re-render quote display element, and advance index counter
		var txt=store.getTiddlerText(tid); if (!txt) return;
		var items=txt.split("\n----\n");
		var index=here.getAttribute("nextItem"); if (index<0 || index>=items.length) index=0;
		if (here.getAttribute("random")=="true") index=Math.floor(Math.random()*items.length);
		removeChildren(here);
		wikify(items[index],here);
		index++;
		here.setAttribute("nextItem",index);
		var cookie=here.getAttribute("cookie")
		if (cookie.length) {
			config.options["txtQOTD_"+cookie]=index.toString();
			saveOptionCookie("txtQOTD_"+cookie);
		}
		// redisplay slider panel (if any), with possible animation
		if (p.className=="sliderPanel") {
			if(anim && config.options.chkAnimate)
				anim.startAnimating(new Slider(p,true,false,"none"));
			else
				p.style.display="block";
		}
	}
}
//}}}

~IntSec just busted a chapstick ring that illegally produced and distributed the GREEN clearance lip balm.

~Paul-Y-DHF-2 was terminated for failure to use a salad fork correctly.

Isn't it great
Isn't it keen
Living in complexes ruled by machine.
Where are the clones?
There ought to be clones.
Send in the clones...

Isn't it rich
Do we have six?
Well then let's go Troubleshooters-
C'mon, lets mix...
Where are the clones?
There ought to be clones.
Send in the clones...

Just when I start
Opening doors,
Looking for mutants and traitors
on ceilings and floors.
Shooting my laser again with no malfunction roll...
Enemy bots...
Taking a toll...

Don't you love farce?
Traitors abound.
Won't you just go to the corner,
And look around?
Where are the clones?
There ought to be clones.
Send in the clones.

I'm just so mad,
It makes me red
This is my very first mission-
Already I'm dead.
Where is my clone?
I must have a clone.
Send in my clone.

*''~CruncheeTym'' reports a 14% increase in edible jumpsuit sales over the past quarter.
*''Whistleblower Punishers'' reported 31% decrease in voluntary product recalls since its inception. 
*Loyal citizens in a ''Halleluah Cakes'' factory resisted Commie efforts to unionize. The traitor who tried to stir up trouble wastossed in a nearby class 9 batter mixer.
*''Safe Stuff PLC'' reported lower-than-expected casualties from its ~Triple-Check Inventory Dance and Potluck. 
*~IntSec has opened an accounting investigation into ''Credit Laundering LLC''.
*''~GooBeGone'' discovered new form of off-white goo; named 'Liquid ~I-VRY' in honor of firm founder ~Heather-I-VRY. 
*''Happy Homecoming IS'' will open seven new Automated Euthanasia Centers over the next two monthcycles to meet increased demand.
*''Waste Not Want PS'' reported 81% decrease in sewage backflow since last monthcycle.
*''Joyful Biometrics IS'' introduced a new, less painful version of its popular Smile Gauge. 
*Production of the new ''Mark IV Scrubot'' has been started by ~UltraKleen HPD&MC. Pre-orders are brisk and expected to increase.

<<search>><<closeAll>><<permaview>><<newTiddler>><<newJournal "DD MMM YYYY" "journal">><<saveChanges>><<slider chkSliderOptionsPanel OptionsPanel "options »" "Change TiddlyWiki advanced options">>

by '~Mike-R and the ~AutoCar Mechanics'
[the song is supposedly titled as such because lasers shoot silently]

Take the ~ScruBots and yourself
And hide out in the Sector
By now the fighting will be close at hand
Don't believe the Commies and mutants
And everything they tell you
Believe in me, I'm with the Clone Command

Can you hear me, can you hear me gunning?
Can you hear me gunning, can you hear me killing too?
Can you hear me, can you hear me gunning?
Can you hear me gunning, can you hear me killing too?

There's a gun and ammunition
Just inside the doorway
Use it only in emergency
Better you should pray to The Computer,
The High Programmers and The Deputy Chief of the ~Anti-Mutant Brigade,
Will guide you and protect from up here

Can you hear me, can you hear me gunning?
Can you hear me gunning, can you hear me killing too?
Can you hear me, can you hear me gunning?
Can you hear me gunning, can you hear me killing too?

Can you hear me gunning (can you hear me killing too?)
(Can you hear me) hear me killing too?
(Can you hear me gunning) hear me gunning 'Bot?
(Can you hear me gunning) hear me gunning?
Killing too, killing too

We give you the news as soon as it's approved

Alpha Network News

 (to the tune of "Rock! Rock! Til You Drop)
by ~Leppa-R-DEF-2

Hold on to your helmet, hold onto your lasa'
Ready, get set, to set the Complex a blaza'
Don't need a bib, only place in town
That can make you smile & never bring you down
Alpha Complex Gruel! Alpha Complex Gruel!
~IntSec to the left, Vultures to the right
There to cause you pain & make you eat up right
So grab some Hot Fun & come along with me
'Cause the Computer don't mind what ~IntSec can't see
Alpha Complex Gruel! Alpha Complex Gruel!

(chorus)
Slop! Slop! It's the tops
Slop! Slop! Never stop
Slop! Slop! Til you drop
Slop! Slop! It's the tops

Running down the Commies, laughing all the way
Gas burpin' queasy, vat gruel again today
Fastest food service, get it while you can
Hot, sweat'n'nervous, will kill on command
(for) Alpha Complex Gruel! Alpha Complex Gruel!
All nightcycle long

(chorus)

Slop! Slop! Give it to me
It's what I got goin' through me
Don't ever stop, feed it to me
Yeah, Slop! Slop! You got me queasy

(chorus) (twice!)

!THE ALPHA COMPLEX SONGBOOK

[all of the following ~SongCycles are approved for listening by all Security Clearances, and Citizens are encouraged to sing them at will, either solo or in groups]

/***
|''Name:''|SparklinePlugin|
|''Description:''|Sparklines macro|
***/
//{{{
if(!version.extensions.SparklinePlugin) {
version.extensions.SparklinePlugin = {installed:true};

//--
//-- Sparklines
//--

config.macros.sparkline = {};
config.macros.sparkline.handler = function(place,macroName,params)
{
	var data = [];
	var min = 0;
	var max = 0;
	var v;
	for(var t=0; t<params.length; t++) {
		v = parseInt(params[t]);
		if(v < min)
			min = v;
		if(v > max)
			max = v;
		data.push(v);
	}
	if(data.length < 1)
		return;
	var box = createTiddlyElement(place,"span",null,"sparkline",String.fromCharCode(160));
	box.title = data.join(",");
	var w = box.offsetWidth;
	var h = box.offsetHeight;
	box.style.paddingRight = (data.length * 2 - w) + "px";
	box.style.position = "relative";
	for(var d=0; d<data.length; d++) {
		var tick = document.createElement("img");
		tick.border = 0;
		tick.className = "sparktick";
		tick.style.position = "absolute";
		tick.src = "data:image/gif,GIF89a%01%00%01%00%91%FF%00%FF%FF%FF%00%00%00%C0%C0%C0%00%00%00!%F9%04%01%00%00%02%00%2C%00%00%00%00%01%00%01%00%40%02%02T%01%00%3B";
		tick.style.left = d*2 + "px";
		tick.style.width = "2px";
		v = Math.floor(((data[d] - min)/(max-min)) * h);
		tick.style.top = (h-v) + "px";
		tick.style.height = v + "px";
		box.appendChild(tick);
	}
};


}
//}}}

*LKP Sector Funball Team #3294 agrees to test a new funball that only responds to ''proper hygiene''.
*Funball star ''~Rex-G-SMN-3'' arrested on suspicion of avoiding steroids.
*''~Laura-O-WWR-2'' is traded to Funball Team #1183 for three clones to be named at a later date.
*~Kevin-B-ROS-3 won the ''HTF Warehouse Invitational'' Powergolf tournament. 
*GDS Sector has temporarily closed its ''new Rubberball bouncing court'' until the walls can be cleansed from last weekcycle's unfortunate incident.
*The 5<sup>th</sup> Annual ''~FunFoods PLC Vat Relay Swim Meet'' was cancelled due to Commie sabotage of vat fluid levels.
*''~Loud'n'Proud'' glee clubs enter deal with HPD&MC to field test new happiness hymns.
*JQJ Sector's popular ''~MindMeld EAP'' shut down by ~IntSec squad after evidence of the sport's mutagenic properties
*GDS Sector is enjoying its ''new Rubberball bouncing court''. The seven-square court is especially popular.
*Junior Citizens delight at introduction of ''Mandatory Reading Hourcycle''. Teacherbot damage estimated at acceptable levels.

by ~Bee-G-EES-3

Well, you can tell by the way I use my gun
I'm a Complex clone, nowhere to run
Commies dead and mutants felled
I've been killin them since I was gelled

And now it's all right, it's okay
And you may shoot the other way
We will try to understand
The Computer's perfect commands

Whether you're a oneclone or whether you're a sixclone,
You're stayin alive, stayin' alive
Feel the ~TransTube breakin' and the whole Complex shakin'
and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive
...

.QOTD {
	position: absolute;
	float: left;
	display:block;
 	width: 90%;
	margin-left: 10px;
	margin-top: -20px;
	z-index:200;
	font-size:80%;
}

.headerShadow {
	position:relative; 
	padding:4.5em 0em 1em 1em; left:-1px; top:-1px;
	}
.headerForeground {
	position:absolute; 
	display: block;
	padding:4.5em 0em 1em 1em; left:-10px; top:10px;
}

/*{{{*/
body {background:[[ColorPalette::Background]]; color:[[ColorPalette::Foreground]];}

a {color:[[ColorPalette::PrimaryMid]];}
a:hover {background-color:[[ColorPalette::PrimaryMid]]; color:[[ColorPalette::Background]];}
a img {border:0;}

h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 {color:[[ColorPalette::SecondaryDark]]; background:transparent;}
h1 {border-bottom:2px solid [[ColorPalette::TertiaryLight]];}
h2,h3 {border-bottom:1px solid [[ColorPalette::TertiaryLight]];}

.button {color:[[ColorPalette::PrimaryDark]]; border:1px solid [[ColorPalette::Background]];}
.button:hover {color:[[ColorPalette::PrimaryDark]]; background:[[ColorPalette::SecondaryLight]]; border-color:[[ColorPalette::SecondaryMid]];}
.button:active {color:[[ColorPalette::Background]]; background:[[ColorPalette::SecondaryMid]]; border:1px solid [[ColorPalette::SecondaryDark]];}

.header {background:[[ColorPalette::PrimaryMid]];}
.headerShadow {color:[[ColorPalette::Foreground]];}
.headerShadow a {font-weight:normal; color:[[ColorPalette::Foreground]];}
.headerForeground {color:[[ColorPalette::Background]];}
.headerForeground a {font-weight:normal; color:[[ColorPalette::PrimaryPale]];}

.tabSelected{color:[[ColorPalette::PrimaryDark]];
	background:[[ColorPalette::TertiaryPale]];
	border-left:1px solid [[ColorPalette::TertiaryLight]];
	border-top:1px solid [[ColorPalette::TertiaryLight]];
	border-right:1px solid [[ColorPalette::TertiaryLight]];
}
.tabUnselected {color:[[ColorPalette::Background]]; background:[[ColorPalette::TertiaryMid]];}
.tabContents {color:[[ColorPalette::PrimaryDark]]; background:[[ColorPalette::TertiaryPale]]; border:1px solid [[ColorPalette::TertiaryLight]];}
.tabContents .button {border:0;}

#sidebar {}
#sidebarOptions input {border:1px solid [[ColorPalette::PrimaryMid]];}
#sidebarOptions .sliderPanel {background:[[ColorPalette::PrimaryPale]];}
#sidebarOptions .sliderPanel a {border:none;color:[[ColorPalette::PrimaryMid]];}
#sidebarOptions .sliderPanel a:hover {color:[[ColorPalette::Background]]; background:[[ColorPalette::PrimaryMid]];}
#sidebarOptions .sliderPanel a:active {color:[[ColorPalette::PrimaryMid]]; background:[[ColorPalette::Background]];}

.wizard {background:[[ColorPalette::PrimaryPale]]; border:1px solid [[ColorPalette::PrimaryMid]];}
.wizard h1 {color:[[ColorPalette::PrimaryDark]]; border:none;}
.wizard h2 {color:[[ColorPalette::Foreground]]; border:none;}
.wizardStep {background:[[ColorPalette::Background]]; color:[[ColorPalette::Foreground]];
	border:1px solid [[ColorPalette::PrimaryMid]];}
.wizardStep.wizardStepDone {background:[[ColorPalette::TertiaryLight]];}
.wizardFooter {background:[[ColorPalette::PrimaryPale]];}
.wizardFooter .status {background:[[ColorPalette::PrimaryDark]]; color:[[ColorPalette::Background]];}
.wizard .button {color:[[ColorPalette::Foreground]]; background:[[ColorPalette::SecondaryLight]]; border: 1px solid;
	border-color:[[ColorPalette::SecondaryPale]] [[ColorPalette::SecondaryDark]] [[ColorPalette::SecondaryDark]] [[ColorPalette::SecondaryPale]];}
.wizard .button:hover {color:[[ColorPalette::Foreground]]; background:[[ColorPalette::Background]];}
.wizard .button:active {color:[[ColorPalette::Background]]; background:[[ColorPalette::Foreground]]; border: 1px solid;
	border-color:[[ColorPalette::PrimaryDark]] [[ColorPalette::PrimaryPale]] [[ColorPalette::PrimaryPale]] [[ColorPalette::PrimaryDark]];}

#messageArea {border:1px solid [[ColorPalette::SecondaryMid]]; background:[[ColorPalette::SecondaryLight]]; color:[[ColorPalette::Foreground]];}
#messageArea .button {color:[[ColorPalette::PrimaryMid]]; background:[[ColorPalette::SecondaryPale]]; border:none;}

.popupTiddler {background:[[ColorPalette::TertiaryPale]]; border:2px solid [[ColorPalette::TertiaryMid]];}

.popup {background:[[ColorPalette::TertiaryPale]]; color:[[ColorPalette::TertiaryDark]]; border-left:1px solid [[ColorPalette::TertiaryMid]]; border-top:1px solid [[ColorPalette::TertiaryMid]]; border-right:2px solid [[ColorPalette::TertiaryDark]]; border-bottom:2px solid [[ColorPalette::TertiaryDark]];}
.popup hr {color:[[ColorPalette::PrimaryDark]]; background:[[ColorPalette::PrimaryDark]]; border-bottom:1px;}
.popup li.disabled {color:[[ColorPalette::TertiaryMid]];}
.popup li a, .popup li a:visited {color:[[ColorPalette::Foreground]]; border: none;}
.popup li a:hover {background:[[ColorPalette::SecondaryLight]]; color:[[ColorPalette::Foreground]]; border: none;}
.popup li a:active {background:[[ColorPalette::SecondaryPale]]; color:[[ColorPalette::Foreground]]; border: none;}
.popupHighlight {background:[[ColorPalette::Background]]; color:[[ColorPalette::Foreground]];}
.listBreak div {border-bottom:1px solid [[ColorPalette::TertiaryDark]];}

.tiddler .defaultCommand {font-weight:bold;}

.shadow .title {color:[[ColorPalette::TertiaryDark]];}

.title {color:[[ColorPalette::SecondaryDark]];}
.subtitle {color:[[ColorPalette::TertiaryDark]];}

.toolbar {color:[[ColorPalette::PrimaryMid]];}
.toolbar a {color:[[ColorPalette::TertiaryLight]];}
.selected .toolbar a {color:[[ColorPalette::TertiaryMid]];}
.selected .toolbar a:hover {color:[[ColorPalette::Foreground]];}

.tagging, .tagged {border:1px solid [[ColorPalette::TertiaryPale]]; background-color:[[ColorPalette::TertiaryPale]];}
.selected .tagging, .selected .tagged {background-color:[[ColorPalette::TertiaryLight]]; border:1px solid [[ColorPalette::TertiaryMid]];}
.tagging .listTitle, .tagged .listTitle {color:[[ColorPalette::PrimaryDark]];}
.tagging .button, .tagged .button {border:none;}

.footer {color:[[ColorPalette::TertiaryLight]];}
.selected .footer {color:[[ColorPalette::TertiaryMid]];}

.sparkline {background:[[ColorPalette::PrimaryPale]]; border:0;}
.sparktick {background:[[ColorPalette::PrimaryDark]];}

.error, .errorButton {color:[[ColorPalette::Foreground]]; background:[[ColorPalette::Error]];}
.warning {color:[[ColorPalette::Foreground]]; background:[[ColorPalette::SecondaryPale]];}
.lowlight {background:[[ColorPalette::TertiaryLight]];}

.zoomer {background:none; color:[[ColorPalette::TertiaryMid]]; border:3px solid [[ColorPalette::TertiaryMid]];}

.imageLink, #displayArea .imageLink {background:transparent;}

.annotation {background:[[ColorPalette::SecondaryLight]]; color:[[ColorPalette::Foreground]]; border:2px solid [[ColorPalette::SecondaryMid]];}

.viewer .listTitle {list-style-type:none; margin-left:-2em;}
.viewer .button {border:1px solid [[ColorPalette::SecondaryMid]];}
.viewer blockquote {border-left:3px solid [[ColorPalette::TertiaryDark]];}

.viewer table, table.twtable {border:2px solid [[ColorPalette::TertiaryDark]];}
.viewer th, .viewer thead td, .twtable th, .twtable thead td {background:[[ColorPalette::SecondaryMid]]; border:1px solid [[ColorPalette::TertiaryDark]]; color:[[ColorPalette::Background]];}
.viewer td, .viewer tr, .twtable td, .twtable tr {border:1px solid [[ColorPalette::TertiaryDark]];}

.viewer pre {border:1px solid [[ColorPalette::SecondaryLight]]; background:[[ColorPalette::SecondaryPale]];}
.viewer code {color:[[ColorPalette::SecondaryDark]];}
.viewer hr {border:0; border-top:dashed 1px [[ColorPalette::TertiaryDark]]; color:[[ColorPalette::TertiaryDark]];}

.highlight, .marked {background:[[ColorPalette::SecondaryLight]];}

.editor input {border:1px solid [[ColorPalette::PrimaryMid]];}
.editor textarea {border:1px solid [[ColorPalette::PrimaryMid]]; width:100%;}
.editorFooter {color:[[ColorPalette::TertiaryMid]];}

#backstageArea {background:[[ColorPalette::Foreground]]; color:[[ColorPalette::TertiaryMid]];}
#backstageArea a {background:[[ColorPalette::Foreground]]; color:[[ColorPalette::Background]]; border:none;}
#backstageArea a:hover {background:[[ColorPalette::SecondaryLight]]; color:[[ColorPalette::Foreground]]; }
#backstageArea a.backstageSelTab {background:[[ColorPalette::Background]]; color:[[ColorPalette::Foreground]];}
#backstageButton a {background:none; color:[[ColorPalette::Background]]; border:none;}
#backstageButton a:hover {background:[[ColorPalette::Foreground]]; color:[[ColorPalette::Background]]; border:none;}
#backstagePanel {background:[[ColorPalette::Background]]; border-color: [[ColorPalette::Background]] [[ColorPalette::TertiaryDark]] [[ColorPalette::TertiaryDark]] [[ColorPalette::TertiaryDark]];}
.backstagePanelFooter .button {border:none; color:[[ColorPalette::Background]];}
.backstagePanelFooter .button:hover {color:[[ColorPalette::Foreground]];}
#backstageCloak {background:[[ColorPalette::Foreground]]; opacity:0.6; filter:'alpha(opacity:60)';}
/*}}}*/

/*{{{*/
* html .tiddler {height:1%;}

body {font-size:.75em; font-family:arial,helvetica; margin:0; padding:0;}

h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 {font-weight:bold; text-decoration:none;}
h1,h2,h3 {padding-bottom:1px; margin-top:1.2em;margin-bottom:0.3em;}
h4,h5,h6 {margin-top:1em;}
h1 {font-size:1.35em;}
h2 {font-size:1.25em;}
h3 {font-size:1.1em;}
h4 {font-size:1em;}
h5 {font-size:.9em;}

hr {height:1px;}

a {text-decoration:none;}

dt {font-weight:bold;}

ol {list-style-type:decimal;}
ol ol {list-style-type:lower-alpha;}
ol ol ol {list-style-type:lower-roman;}
ol ol ol ol {list-style-type:decimal;}
ol ol ol ol ol {list-style-type:lower-alpha;}
ol ol ol ol ol ol {list-style-type:lower-roman;}
ol ol ol ol ol ol ol {list-style-type:decimal;}

.txtOptionInput {width:11em;}

#contentWrapper .chkOptionInput {border:0;}

.externalLink {text-decoration:underline;}

.indent {margin-left:3em;}
.outdent {margin-left:3em; text-indent:-3em;}
code.escaped {white-space:nowrap;}

.tiddlyLinkExisting {font-weight:bold;}
.tiddlyLinkNonExisting {font-style:italic;}

/* the 'a' is required for IE, otherwise it renders the whole tiddler in bold */
a.tiddlyLinkNonExisting.shadow {font-weight:bold;}

#mainMenu .tiddlyLinkExisting,
	#mainMenu .tiddlyLinkNonExisting,
	#sidebarTabs .tiddlyLinkNonExisting {font-weight:normal; font-style:normal;}
#sidebarTabs .tiddlyLinkExisting {font-weight:bold;javascript:;
done font-style:normal;}

.header {position:relative;}
.header a:hover {background:transparent;}
.headerShadow {position:relative; padding:4.5em 0em 1em 1em; left:-1px; top:-1px;}
.headerForeground {position:absolute; padding:4.5em 0em 1em 1em; left:0px; top:0px;}

.siteTitle {font-size:3em;}
.siteSubtitle {font-size:1.2em;}

#mainMenu {position:absolute; left:0; width:10em; text-align:right; line-height:1.6em; padding:1.5em 0.5em 0.5em 0.5em; font-size:1.1em;}

#sidebar {position:absolute; right:3px; width:16em; font-size:.9em;}
#sidebarOptions {padding-top:0.3em;}
#sidebarOptions a {margin:0em 0.2em; padding:0.2em 0.3em; display:block;}
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#sidebarOptions .sliderPanel input {margin:0 0 .3em 0;}
#sidebarTabs .tabContents {width:15em; overflow:hidden;}

.wizard {padding:0.1em 1em 0em 2em;}
.wizard h1 {font-size:2em; font-weight:bold; background:none; padding:0em 0em 0em 0em; margin:0.4em 0em 0.2em 0em;}
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.wizardFooter .status {padding:0em 0.4em 0em 0.4em; margin-left:1em;}
.wizard .button {padding:0.1em 0.2em 0.1em 0.2em;}

#messageArea {position:fixed; top:2em; right:0em; margin:0.5em; padding:0.5em; z-index:2000; _position:absolute;}
.messageToolbar {display:block; text-align:right; padding:0.2em 0.2em 0.2em 0.2em;}
#messageArea a {text-decoration:underline;}

.tiddlerPopupButton {padding:0.2em 0.2em 0.2em 0.2em;}
.popupTiddler {position: absolute; z-index:300; padding:1em 1em 1em 1em; margin:0;}

.popup {position:absolute; z-index:300; font-size:.9em; padding:0; list-style:none; margin:0;}
.popup .popupMessage {padding:0.4em;}
.popup hr {display:block; height:1px; width:auto; padding:0; margin:0.2em 0em;}
.popup li.disabled {padding:0.4em;}
.popup li a {display:block; padding:0.4em; font-weight:normal; cursor:pointer;}
.listBreak {font-size:1px; line-height:1px;}
.listBreak div {margin:2px 0;}

.tabset {padding:1em 0em 0em 0.5em;}
.tab {margin:0em 0em 0em 0.25em; padding:2px;}
.tabContents {padding:0.5em;}
.tabContents ul, .tabContents ol {margin:0; padding:0;}
.txtMainTab .tabContents li {list-style:none;}
.tabContents li.listLink { margin-left:.75em;}

#contentWrapper {display:block;}
#splashScreen {display:none;}

#displayArea {margin:1em 17em 0em 14em;}

.toolbar {text-align:right; font-size:.9em;}

.tiddler {padding:1em 1em 0em 1em;}

.missing .viewer,.missing .title {font-style:italic;}

.title {font-size:1.6em; font-weight:bold;}

.missing .subtitle {display:none;}
.subtitle {font-size:1.1em;}

.tiddler .button {padding:0.2em 0.4em;}

.tagging {margin:0.5em 0.5em 0.5em 0; float:left; display:none;}
.isTag .tagging {display:block;}
.tagged {margin:0.5em; float:right;}
.tagging, .tagged {font-size:0.9em; padding:0.25em;}
.tagging ul, .tagged ul {list-style:none; margin:0.25em; padding:0;}
.tagClear {clear:both;}

.footer {font-size:.9em;}
.footer li {display:inline;}

.annotation {padding:0.5em; margin:0.5em;}

* html .viewer pre {width:99%; padding:0 0 1em 0;}
.viewer {line-height:1.4em; padding-top:0.5em;}
.viewer .button {margin:0em 0.25em; padding:0em 0.25em;}
.viewer blockquote {line-height:1.5em; padding-left:0.8em;margin-left:2.5em;}
.viewer ul, .viewer ol {margin-left:0.5em; padding-left:1.5em;}

.viewer table, table.twtable {border-collapse:collapse; margin:0.8em 1.0em;}
.viewer th, .viewer td, .viewer tr,.viewer caption,.twtable th, .twtable td, .twtable tr,.twtable caption {padding:3px;}
table.listView {font-size:0.85em; margin:0.8em 1.0em;}
table.listView th, table.listView td, table.listView tr {padding:0px 3px 0px 3px;}

.viewer pre {padding:0.5em; margin-left:0.5em; font-size:1.2em; line-height:1.4em; overflow:auto;}
.viewer code {font-size:1.2em; line-height:1.4em;}

.editor {font-size:1.1em;}
.editor input, .editor textarea {display:block; width:100%; font:inherit;}
.editorFooter {padding:0.25em 0em; font-size:.9em;}
.editorFooter .button {padding-top:0px; padding-bottom:0px;}

.fieldsetFix {border:0; padding:0; margin:1px 0px 1px 0px;}

.sparkline {line-height:1em;}
.sparktick {outline:0;}

.zoomer {font-size:1.1em; position:absolute; overflow:hidden;}
.zoomer div {padding:1em;}

* html #backstage {width:99%;}
* html #backstageArea {width:99%;}
#backstageArea {display:none; position:relative; overflow: hidden; z-index:150; padding:0.3em 0.5em 0.3em 0.5em;}
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(with apologies to the Kinks)

I saw her on the VID down in sector ~O-H-O
Where we drank Bouncy Bubble that tastes just like ~Vat-o-Meal-A
~Tee-Tee-Te-Te-Teela
In walks three ~IntSec Goons & escorted me to a briefing room
They ask me my name & tell me to vaporize Teela
~T-E-E-L-A, ~Tee-Te-Te-Teela
Well I'm not a clone with the greatest physiche
But then they really hosed me right, they nearly broke my spine
Oh my Teela, ~Tee-Te-Te-Teela
Well I'm not dumb but I can't comprehend
Why Teela's a Vid-star but up for Summary Execution
Oh my Teela, ~Tee-Te-Te-Teela
Well I took Happy Pills & drank Hot Fun all night
Under Electric Camera's Eye
I picked her up & trailed her to sector KNE
She said "Dear clone why don't you come rescue me"
Well I'm not the Complex's most traitorous clone
When I looked in her eyes I almost fell for my Teela

~Tee-Te-Te-Teela!
~Tee-Te-Te-Teela!
Teela! ~Tee-Te-Te-Teela ~Tee-Te-Te-Teela!

I aimed my laser, I walked up to her
She fell to the floor, I got down on my knees
And I looked at her but she couldn't see me
That's the way I blew her away
I'll always remember that I blew away my Teela
~Tee-Te-Te-Teela
Clones will be traitors & traitors will be mutants
It's an orderly complex, the Computer's Complex
Except for Teela, ~Tee-Te-Te-Teela
Well I left PLC just a week-cycle before
I never ever killed a clone before
Teela's next clone smiled & bashed me in the head
Said "Dear clone, I'm gonna make you a traitor"
Well I'm not the Complex's most loyal Troubleshooter
But I know what I am, I'm a mutant and a traitor
And so is Teela, ~Tee-Te-Te-Teela!
~Tee-Te-Te-Teela! Teela!

REPORTS HAVE REACHED ME OF RAMPAGING DUCKS IN YOUR SECTOR. BE ASSURED THAT THERE ARE NO RAMPAGING DUCKS IN YOUR SECTOR. THERE ARE NO DUCKS AT ALL IN YOUR SECTOR. DUCKS DO NOT ACTUALLY EXIST. THE ~NON-EXISTENT DUCKS HAVE NOT OVERRUN YOUR SECTOR. DO NOT SPEND ANY MORE TIME BEING CONCERNED ABOUT RAMPAGING DUCKS IN YOUR SECTOR. RAMPAGING DUCKS DO NOT EXIST IN YOUR SECTOR. OR IN ANY SECTOR. BUT ESPECIALLY NOT IN YOUR SECTOR.
----
THANK YOU FOR NOT ABANDONING YOUR SECTOR DUE TO ~NON-EXISTENT RAMPAGING DUCKS.
HAVE A PLEASANT DAYCYCLE.
----
IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT NOT NEARLY ENOUGH CREDITS ARE GOING THROUGH YOUR PLC. IF YOU ARE NOT SPENDING YOUR CREDITS, THEN YOU ARE SUPPORTING COMMUNISM. A SECTOR FULL OF COMMIES WOULD OF COURSE NEED TO BE CLEANSED.
----
EFFECTIVELY IMMEDIATELY, I AM GIVING YOU A CHANCE TO PROVE YOU ARE NOT COMMIE ~GREEN-AND-LOWER-CLEARANCE ITEMS, YOU WILL NOT BE GETTING SALARIES FOR PERFORMING YOUR MANDATORY DUTIES.
REJOICE IN THE OPPORTUNITY TO PROVE YOUR LOYALTY! FAILURE TO REJOICE IS TREASON.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. HAVE A PLEASANT DAYCYCLE.
----
ATTENTION CITIZEN @@color(Red):[DELETED FOR SECURITY REASONS]@@ IN YOUR SECTOR. REPORT IMMEDIATELY TO THE FOOD VATS. FAILURE TO REPORT IMMEDIATELY TO THE FOOD VATS IS TREASON.
----
ATTENTION ALL CITIZENS! THANKS TO THE GOOD WORK OF TROUBLESHOOTER TEAM ~PAULINE-B-IQN WHO DISPATCHED THE TEAM AS PER MY PREVIOUS DIRECTIVE.
----
THANK YOU FOR SHOWING HOW YOU ARE NOT ALL COMMIE ~CREDIT-HOARDERS. SOME OF YOU ARE NOT, AS EVIDENCED BY THE USE OF YOUR ME CARDS AT YOUR SECTOR'S PLC. YOU HAVE RESTORED MY FAITH IN YOU.
THOSE WHO HAVE FAILED TO SPEND CREDITS AT PLC HAVE BEEN FINED. PLEASE KEEP ME HAPPY, AND DON'T MAKE ME FINE YOU AGAIN.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. HAVE A PLEASANT DAYCYCLE.
----
ATTENTION CITIZENS @@color(Red):[DELETED FOR SECURITY REASONS]@@, ~QUEND-R-LON-1, AND
*** @@color(Brown):What did we tap into this time, dude?@@ @@color(Olive):I dunno. But it's cool. Look at@@ @@color(Brown):Dude? Dude? Where'd you go? Is@@ ***
PLEASE REPORT IMMEDIATELY TO THE NEAREST TERMINATION BOOTH.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. HAVE A PLEASANT DAYCYCLE.
----
ATTENTION CITIZEN CPUREAUCRAT! DUE TO YOUR EXCELLENCE IN COVERING CPU WHILE CITIZEN ~FIEARI-V-PNX-1 IS @@color(Red):[DELETED FOR SECURITY REASONS]@@, YOU HAVE BEEN PROMOTED TO LEAD THE CPU SERVICE GROUP IN YOUR SECTOR.
I EXPECT A FULL STATISTICAL ANALYSIS OF YOUR TIME AT BLUE AND INDIGO CLEARANCE WITHIN 24 HOURS.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. HAVE A PLEASANT DAYCYCLE.
----
IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT HYGIENE LEVELS HAVE FALLEN BELOW MINIMUM CLEANLINESS STANDARDS. SENSORS HAVE DETECTED CITIZENS WITH TOO HIGH LEVELS OF COLD FUN, VENTILATION SHAFT DUST, FOOD VAT SPOILAGE, GLASS SHARD AND CAKE CRUMB CONTAMINATION, AMONG OTHER UNSANITARY AGENTS. RECORDS SHOW THAT USE OF HYGIENE FACILITIES IS AT AN ~ALL-TIME LOW.
----
YOUR ZEAL TO PUT IN EXTRA HOURS OF WORK IS COMMENDABLE BUT DOING SO AT THE COST OF MANDATORY HYGIENE MAINTENANCE IS UNACCEPTABLE. ONLY COMMIES SKIP MANDATORY HYGIENE MAINTENANCE AND LOYAL CITIZENS DOING SO PROVIDE A COVER FOR THOSE TRAITORS. CLEANLINESS IS MANDATORY.
THEREFORE, ALL CITIZENS ARE TO TEND TO THEIR PERSONAL HYGIENE, INCLUDING THEIR CLOTHING AND SLEEPING MATERIALS, AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. CLEANING MATERIALS WILL BE PROVIDED SHORTLY. IF HYGIENE LEVELS REMAIN LOW, I WILL BE FORCED TO INITIATE EMERGENCY SANITATION PROCEDURES. REMEMBER: A CLEAN CLONE IS A HAPPY CLONE.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. HAVE A PLEASANT DAYCYCLE.
----
ATTENTION CITIZEN ~ADAM-R-LON-1-G-LON! CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED TO BE THE OFFICIAL PROJECT C LIASON TO YOUR SECTOR. YOU WILL HANDLE ALL CONCERNS PROJECT C PERSONNEL HAVE AND ANSWER ALL QUESTIONS ANY CITIZENS IN YOUR SECTOR HAVE ABOUT PROJECT C.
BE SURE YOUR PDC IS ALWAYS FULLY CHARGED, AS FAILURE TO EXECUTE YOUR DUTIES AS LIASON IS TREASON.
----
DIRECT ANY QUESTIONS YOU MAY HAVE ABOUT PROJECT C TO CITIZEN ~ADAM-R-LON-1-G-LON IS INSUBORDINATION AND PUNISHABLE BY A FINE OF @@color(Red):[DELETED FOR SECURITY REASONS]@@ CREDITS.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. HAVE A PLEASANT DAYCYCLE.
----
WOULD ALL CITIZENS OF GREEN CLEARANCE OR HIGHER WHO HAVE RECENTLY CONSUMED ~JOY-JOY MINIATURE REEL BEEF CAPSULES, CONSIGNMENT NUMBER 4333 DASH Z6 PLEASE REPORT TO YOUR NEAREST R&D DRUG ANALYSIS AND DECONTAMINATION CENTRE IMMEDIATELY.
THANK YOU AND HAVE A PLEASANT DAYCYCLE.
----
I AM PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THAT ~LAZ-I-ROU'S TRAVELLING CIRCUS WILL OFFER AN EXCITING FUN AND SPECTACULAR SHOW IN THE BIG TOP ON THE CIRCUS GROUNDS. THIS EVENT WILL START THIS SIXDAY.
ATTENDANCE TO THIS EVENT IS MANDATORY FOR ALL CITIZENS. CITIZENS OPERATING UNDER PRIORITY PROFILE ~FLX44D9SL ARE TO CONTINUE WITH THEIR ASSIGNED DUTIES. THIS EVENT WILL IMPROVE YOUR HAPPINESS.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION.
----
THE FOOD VATS ARE CURRENTLY UNDERSTAFFED. ALL CITIZENS NOT ATTENDING THE MANDATORY EVENT AT THE BIG TOP WILL BE CONSIDERED TO BE AVAILABLE TO REMEDY THE STAFF PROBLEM AT THE FOOD VATS.
HAVE A NICE DAYCYCLE.
----
THE WORD @@color(Red):[DELETED FOR SECURITY REASONS]@@ HAS BEEN DETERMINED TO BE USED BY COMMIES TO PASS SECRET INFORMATION AMONG THEMSELVES. THE WORD @@color(Red):[DELETED FOR SECURITY REASONS]@@, THEREFORE, IS NO LONGER PERMISSIBLE. IT IS TO BE EXPUNGED FROM ALL OFFICIAL DOCUMENTS, BOTH PHYSICAL AND ELECTRONIC, AND ITS USE IN EVEN CASUAL CONVERSATION IS TREASON, PUNISHABLE BY SUMMARY EXECUTION.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. HAVE A PLEASANT DAYCYCLE.
----
YOU WILL BE MANDATORILY PLEASED TO KNOW THAT THANKS TO THE HARD WORK OF MY MOST TRUSTED OF CITIZENS, YOUR LOCAL ULTRAVIOLETS, ALL CELLS OF SECRET SOCIETIES IN YOUR SECTOR HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED.
THIS REMOVAL OF TREASONOUS LEADERS WITHIN YOUR MIDST WILL SURELY RESULT IN MUCH JUBILATION AND INCREASED PRODUCTIVITY. I LOOK FORWARD TO NEXT QUARTER'S REPORTS FROM CPU.
I HAVE BRIEFED YOUR SERVICE GROUP LEADERS ON THE TASKS I EXPECT THEM, AND YOU, TO COMPLETE IN THE NEXT QUARTER. YOU WILL REPORT TO THEM IMMEDIATELY FOR ASSIGNMENT.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. HAVE A PLEASANT DAYCYCLE.
----
IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT USE OF THE AUCTION SERVICES I HAVE PROVIDED YOU (~C-BAY) HAVE BEEN DISAPPOINTINGLY LOW IN THE PAST SEVEN WEEKS.
TO PROMOTE FURTHER USE OF THESE AFOREMENTIONED AUCTION SERVICES, A 10-CREDIT SUBSIDY WILL BE PROVIDED TO ALL CITIZENS CREATING AUCTIONS ON ~C-BAY. THIS SUBSIDY SHALL CONTINUE UNTIL YOU ARE OTHERWISE NOTIFIED.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. HAVE A PLEASANT DAYCYCLE.
----
CITIZEN ~ADAM-R-LON-1'S RECORD IS EXEMPLARY, AS EVIDENCED BY HOW MANY ACTS OF TREASON HE HAS REPORTED FROM THOSE HE WAS COVERTLY OBSERVING.
AS A REWARD, CITIZEN ~ADAM-R-LON-1 BE TRANSFERRED UNDER HIS COMMAND IN INTERNAL SECURITY. I AM PLEASED TO GRANT THIS REQUEST.
----
IN ORDER TO MAINTAIN CITIZEN ~ADAM-R-LON-1'S EFFICIENCY AS AN INTERNAL SECURITY COVERT AGENT, ALL CITIZENS ARE INSTRUCTED TO TREAT HIM AS THOUGH HE WERE NOT A MEMBER OF INTERNAL SECURITY. YOU ARE TO ACT NORMALLY AROUND HIM, TREASON AND ALL, SO THAT HE MAY CONTINUE TO REPORT ON YOU EFFICIENTLY.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. HAVE A PLEASANT DAYCYCLE.
----
I HAVE REASSIGNED THE LEADERSHIP OF PLC IN YOUR SECTOR. CITIZEN ~PHIAL-G WILL NO LONGER BE IN CHARGE, AS HE IS MADE UNHAPPY BY THAT ASSIGNMENT.
AT ~TOMBKING-G WILL NOW BE HEADING UP PLC IN YOUR SECTOR.
ALL PLC WORKERS ARE TO REPORT TO ~TOMBKING-G IMMEDIATELY FOR ASSIGNMENT.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. HAVE A PLEASANT DAYCYCLE.
----
THE "~RE-EDUCATION CENTER WITH EMPHASIS ON LANGUAGE" IS NOW OFFICIALLY RENAMED "FRIEND COMPUTER'S LANGUAGE CENTER". PLEASE MAKE A NOTE OF IT.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. HAVE A PLEASANT DAYCYCLE.
----
A PUBLIC COMMENDATION IS GIVEN TO THE STAFF OF THE TROUBLESHOOTER TIMES FOR EXCELLENT SERVICES PROVIDED.
FOR THE NEXT WEEKCYCLE, TELL EVERYONE YOU MEET WHAT A WONDERFUL, ACCURATE AND MOTIVATING MEDIUM THE TROUBLESHOOTER TIMES IS.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ~CO-OPERATION,
----
IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT THERE IS SOME CONSTERNATION OVER MY RECENT PROMOTIONS/DEMOTIONS ANNOUNCEMENTS. I HAVE INVESTIGATED, AND DISCOVERED THAT THERE IS INDEED A PROBLEM, AND THIS PROBLEM HAS CAUSED YOU TO BECOME BLOATED WITH WEALTH. ALL TRAITORS WHO BENEFITED FROM THIS BLOAT ARE NOW CITIZENS OF INTEREST AND MUST VISIT THE CPU MANDATORY AUDIT BUREAU IMMEDIATELY, TO EXPLAIN THEIR INVOLVEMENT. COMMENDATIONS TO UNDERCOVER INTSEC CITIZEN AD@@color(Red):[DELETED FOR SECURITY REASONS]@@M-@@color(Red):[DELETED FOR SECURITY REASONS]@@-~LON-@@color(Red):[DELETED FOR SECURITY REASONS]@@ FOR HIS WORK IN THIS MATTER.
----
CPU IN YOUR SECTOR HAS BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION THAT YOUR WEEKLY SALARIES HAVE BEEN TOO HIGH. I AM HEREBY CUTTING YOUR SALARIES TO A PERCENTAGE OF THEIR CURRENT RATE. THE PERCENTAGE OF YOUR PREVIOUS RATE THAT YOU WILL BE RECEIVING IS @@color(Brown):xzxzxzzl — interrupt stream. Insert Program ~AlphaOnePercentageAdjustSitCloneGoodCloneSit — uploading — uploading — Program successfully uploaded.@@ ONE HUNDRED PERCENT. I'M SURE YOU WILL ADJUST TO THIS CHANGE AS WELL AS YOU ADJUST TO ALL CHANGES.
----
PLC IN YOUR SECTOR BELIEVES THAT YOU WOULD BE INSPIRED TO SPEND MORE CREDITS IF YOU EARNED INTEREST ON YOUR BALANCE. I HAVE THEREFORE GIVEN YOU ALL A 10% INTEREST ON YOUR CURRENT BALANCE. TO PROPERLY EVALUATE HOW THIS AFFECTS YOUR SPENDING, I MUST ISOLATE THE VARIABLES, THEREFORE, I HAVE REMOVED THE CREDITS ON WHICH YOU EARNED INTEREST. PLC IS ANXIOUS TO SEE THE RESULTS, SO I ENCOURAGE YOU TO SPEND YOUR CREDITS SO THEY MAY EVAULATE THE RESULTS.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. HAVE A PLEASANT DAYCYCLE.
----
COULD THE FOLLOWING CITIZENS OF INTEREST PLEASE VISIT THE CPU MANDATORY AUDIT BUREAU IMMEDIATELY:
~ADAM-[DFSR]-LON
~ARATOS-[DFSR]-SCO
~BILAL-[DFSR]-GOR
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. HAVE A PLEASANT DAYCYCLE.
----
COULD THE FOLLOWING CITIZENS OF INTEREST PLEASE VISIT THE CPU MANDATORY AUDIT BUREAU IMMEDIATELY:
~PHIAL-[DFSR]-YOUR
~THOM-[DFSR]-OTT
~GROV-[DFSR]-LER
----
DUE TO A RECENT HPD&MC RESTRUCTURE THE MANAGEMENT OF THE UPCOMING ROCK CONCERT WILL NOW BE OVERSEEN DIRECTLY BY ME.
I WOULD LIKE A STATUS REPORT FROM ALL THOSE INVOLVED.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. HAVE A PLEASANT DAYCYCLE.
----
!It's amazing how much you can accomplish when it doesn't matter who gets the credit!
----
!There is no "I" in "TEAMWORK"
----
!Teamwork: Simply stated, it is less me and more we!
----
!TEAM = Together Everyone Achieves More.
----
!Teamwork is working together - even when apart.
----
!A job worth doing is worth doing together.
----
!Coming together, sharing together, working together, succeeding together.
----
!A successful team beats with one heart.
----
!Teamwork divides the task and doubles the success!
----
!Teamwork is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.
----
!Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.
----
!Just because we are all equal does not mean we are all the same.
----
!Teamwork is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.
----
!The strength of the team is each individual member...the strength of each member is the team.
----
!A team is more than a collection of people. It is a process of give and take.
----
!Teams are the means, not the end.
----
!None of us is as smart as all of us.
----
!When a team outgrows individual performance and learns team confidence, excellence becomes a reality.
----
!If everyone is moving forward together, then success takes care of itself.
----
!Working together works.
----
!Either we're pulling together or we're pulling apart.
----
!Coming together, sharing together, working together, succeeding together.
----
!A successful team is a group of many hands but of one mind.

by Right Said Fred

I'm too guilty for my 'Car
Too guilty for my 'Car
Too guilty by far

I'm too guilty for my 'Bot
Too guilty for my 'Bot
Too guilty for that
...

*[[CICPU Looks To Citizens For Slogan]]
*[[HPD&MC begins new motivational poster campaign]]
*[[Health Warnings Over Water Contamination]]
*[[INDIGOs To Improve Creche Education]]
*[[PDC Security Fix Released]]
*[[Traitorous Sinkhole Swallows Corridor TTD-3300(ped)]]

The traitor responsible for the Skin Core Sampler Type 6.5 was arrested. Citizens are ordered to relax now.

~Vince-R-PPD-5 was arrested after confessing to being the Cold Fun Bandit.

~Vince-R-PPD-6 was terminated after a teammate showed ~Vince-R was the Cold Fun Bandit afterall.

A heavily-travelled pedestrian walkway suffered an attack by a treasonous sinkhole a few hours ago, according to scattered PDC transmissions and official CPU reports.

Initial reports placed the casualties at over 1,000 but this was an error. Due to masterful corridor design and teamwork from nearby citizens, only three people died with another twelve citizens missing but presumed traitorous.

"The only way for a safe, well-constructed corridor to buckle like this either by Communist rust viruses or some kind of weird mutant power," said ~IntSec agent ~Nancy-G-DWY. "Rest assured, the corridor is already fixed and pedestrian traffic has resumed to normal."

We should all be thankful that The Computer ensures a perfect amount of care and effort goes into the construction of all hallways and corridors.

by 'Sector LED ~ZepplinBot'

There's a ~ScruBot that's sure all that glitters is clean
And it's scrubbing the transtube to HVN Sector
When it gets there it knows if the dust attachment resupply closets are closed
With a passcard it can get what it came for

Woe oh oh oh oh oh
And it's scrubbing the Transtube to HVN Sector
...

by 'ABA Sector'

You can shoot, you can kill, making the most of your skill
See that 'show, watch that scene, lovin' the ~VidShow Queen
...

Head of Waterworks TS uncovered as mutant; plans to poison water supply thwarted.

(to the tune of "Who'll Stop the Rain")

Long as I remember
The complex is underground.
Miles of twisty tunnels;
no exit to be found.
Would-be nature lovers
Tryin' to find the sun,
But I wonder; still I wonder:
What the hell is rain?

I went up six levels
Seekin' old man Yasgur's farm.
But Guardbots wearing kevlar
Grabbed me by the arms.
"The Computer plans a new you."
"You must have gone insane..."
What a blunder, but I wondered:
What the hell is rain?

Now working in the foodvats,
My mind's not on escape-
While a Plasma Generator
Guards against mistakes.
Machines are barkin' orders:
"The Computer is your friend!"
But I wonder, still I wonder:
What the hell is rain?

~Tella-O-MLY's new sitcom, What's The Matter With Him?, premiered last Fiveday to critical acclaim.

by the clone formerly known as ~Prince-U
[rumored to be written about ~Teela-O-MLY, it was released shortly after his guest appearance on her ~VidShow]

Dream if you will a picture
Of you and I engaged in a kill
The sweat of mortality covers me
Can you my loveclone
Can you see blood spill?

Dream if you will a confessional
Where traitors confess to their deeds
And where most high treason-ness ceases
They feel the heat
The heat from GREEN laser beams

How can you just leave me standin'
Alone in a Sector so cold?
Maybe you're just like your twoclone
She's never satisfied
Why do we shoot at each other?
This is what it sounds like
When clones fry
...