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+====== TRAVELS OF BARON MUNCHAUSEN ======
+===== CHAPTER XXVIII =====
+//The Baron sets all the people of the empire to work to build a
+bridge from their country to Great Britain--His contrivance to
+render the arch secure--Orders an inscription to be engraved on
+the bridge--Returns with all his company, chariot, etc., to
+England--Surveys the kingdoms and nations under him from the
+middle of the bridge.//
+"And now, most noble Baron," said the illustrious Hilaro Frosticos,
+"now is the time to make this people proceed in any business that we
+find convenient. Take them at this present ferment of the mind, let
+them not think, but at once set them to work." In short, the whole
+nation went heartily to the business, to build an edifice such as was
+never seen in any other country. I took care to supply them with their
+favourite kava and fudge, and they worked like horses. The tower of
+Babylon, which, according to Hermogastricus, was seven miles high, or
+the Chinese wall, was a mere trifle, in comparison to this stupendous
+edifice, which was completed in a very short space of time.
+It was of an immense height, far beyond anything that ever had been
+before erected, and of such gentle ascent, that a regiment of cavalry
+with a train of cannon could ascend with perfect ease and facility. It
+seemed like a rainbow in the heavens, the base of which appeared to
+rise in the centre of Africa, and the other extremity seemed to stoop
+into great Britain. A most noble bridge indeed, and a piece of masonry
+that has outdone Sir Christopher Wren. Wonderful must it have been to
+form so tremendous an arch, especially as the artists had certain
+difficulties to labour against which they could not have in the
+formation of any other arch in the world--I mean, the attraction of
+the moon and planets: Because the arch was of so great a height, and
+in some parts so elongated from the earth, as in a great measure to
+diminish in its gravitation to the centre of our globe; or rather,
+seemed more easily operated upon by the attraction of the planets: So
+that the stones of the arch, one would think, at certain times, were
+ready to fall //up// to the moon, and at other times to fall down to the
+earth. But as the former was more to be dreaded, I secured stability
+to the fabric by a very curious contrivance: I ordered the architects
+to get the heads of some hundred numbskulls and blockheads, and fix
+them to the interior surface of the arch, at certain intervals, all
+the whole length, by which means the arch was held together firm, and
+its inclination to the earth eternally established; because of all the
+things in the world, the skulls of these kind of animals have a
+strange facility of tending to the centre of the earth.
+The building being completed, I caused an inscription to be engraved
+in the most magnificent style upon the summit of the arch, in letters
+so great and luminous, that all vessels sailing to the East or West
+Indies might read them distinct in the heavens, like the motto of
+Constantine.
+KARDOL BAGARLAN KAI TON FARINGO SARGAI RA\\
+MO PASHROL VATINEAC CAL COLNITOS RO NA FILNAT\\
+AGASTRA SA DINGANNAL FANO.\\
+That is to say, "As long as this arch and bond of union shall exist,
+so long shall the people be happy. Nor can all the power of the world
+affect them, unless the moon, advancing from her usual sphere, should
+so much attract the skulls as to cause a sudden elevation, on which
+the whole will fall into the most horrible confusion."
+An easy intercourse being thus established between Great Britain and
+the centre of Africa, numbers travelled continually to and from both
+countries, and at my request mail coaches were ordered to run on the
+bridge between both empires. After some time, having settled the
+government to my satisfaction, I requested permission to resign, as a
+great cabal had been excited against me in England; I therefore
+received my letters of recall, and prepared to return to Old England.
+In fine, I set out upon my journey, covered with applause and general
+admiration. I proceeded with the same retinue that I had before--
+Sphinx, Gog and Magog, &c., and advanced along the bridge, lined on
+each side with rows of trees, adorned with festoons of various
+flowers, and illuminated with coloured lights. We advanced at a great
+rate along the bridge, which was so very extensive that we could
+scarcely perceive the ascent, but proceeded insensibly until we
+arrived on the centre of the arch. The view from thence was glorious
+beyond conception; 'twas divine to look down on the kingdoms and seas
+and islands under us. Africa seemed in general of a tawny brownish
+colour, burned up by the sun: Spain seemed more inclining to a yellow,
+on account of some fields of corn scattered over the kingdom; France
+appeared more inclining to a bright straw-colour, intermixed with
+green; and England appeared covered with the most beautiful verdure. I
+admired the appearance of the Baltic Sea, which evidently seemed to
+have been introduced between those countries by the sudden splitting
+of the land, and that originally Sweden was united to the western
+coast of Denmark; in short, the whole interstice of the Gulf of
+Finland had no being, until these countries, by mutual consent,
+separated from one another. Such were my philosophical meditations as
+I advanced, when I observed a man in armour with a tremendous spear or
+lance, and mounted upon a steed, advancing against me. I soon
+discovered by a telescope that it could be no other than Don Quixote,
+and promised myself much amusement in the rencounter.
+----
+Go to [[CHAPTER XXIX]]