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+====== TRAVELS OF BARON MUNCHAUSEN ======
+===== CHAPTER XXVII =====
+//A proclamation by the Baron--Excessive curiosity of the people to
+know what fudge was--The people in a general ferment about it--
+They break open all the granaries in the empire--The affections of
+the people conciliated--An ode performed in honour of the Baron--
+His discourse with Fragrantia on the excellence of the music.//
+Some time after I ordered the following proclamation to be published
+in the Court Gazette, and in all the other papers of the empire:--
+BY THE MOST MIGHTY AND PUISSANT LORD,
+HIS EXCELLENCY THE
+LORD BARON MUNCHAUSEN.
+Whereas a quantity of fudge has been distributed through all the
+granaries of the empire for particular uses; and as the natives
+have ever expressed their aversion to all manner of European
+eatables, it is hereby strictly forbidden, under pain of the
+severest penalties, for any of the officers charged with the
+keeping of the said fudge to give, sell, or suffer to be sold, any
+part or quantity whatever of the said material, until it be
+agreeable unto our good will and pleasure.
+Dated in our Castle of Gristariska
+this Triskill of the month of
+Griskish, in the year Moulikasra-
+navas-kashna-vildash.
+This proclamation excited the most ardent curiosity all over the
+empire. "Do you know what this fudge is?" said Lady Mooshilgarousti to
+Lord Darnarlaganl. "Fudge!" said he, "Fudge! no: what fudge?" "I
+mean," replied her Ladyship, "the enormous quantity of fudge that has
+been distributed under guards in all the strong places in the empire,
+and which is strictly forbidden to be sold or given to any of the
+natives under the severest penalties." "Lord!" replied he, "what in
+the name of wonder can it be? Forbidden! why it must, but pray do you,
+Lady Fashashash, do you know what this fudge is? Do you, Lord
+Trastillauex? or you, Miss Gristilarkask? What! nobody know what this
+fudge can be?"
+It engrossed for several days the chit-chat of the whole empire.
+Fudge, fudge, fudge, resounded in all companies and in all places,
+from the rising until the setting of the sun; and even at night, when
+gentle sleep refreshed the rest of mortals, the ladies of all that
+country were dreaming of fudge!
+"Upon my honour," said Kitty, as she was adjusting her modesty piece
+before the glass, just after getting out of bed, "there is scarce
+anything I would not give to know what this fudge can be." "La! my
+dear," replied Miss Killnariska, "I have been dreaming the whole night
+of nothing but fudge; I thought my lover kissed my hand, and pressed
+it to his bosom, while I, frowning, endeavoured to wrest it from him:
+that he kneeled at my feet. No, never, never will I look at you, cried
+I, till you tell me what this fudge can be, or get me some of it.
+Begone! cried I, with all the dignity of offended beauty, majesty, and
+a tragic queen. Begone! never see me more, or bring me this delicious
+fudge. He swore, on the honour of a knight, that he would wander o'er
+the world, encounter every danger, perish in the attempt, or satisfy
+the angel of his soul."
+The chiefs and nobility of the nation, when they met together to drink
+their kava, spoke of nothing but fudge. Men, women, and children all,
+all talked of nothing but fudge. 'Twas a fury of curiosity, one
+general ferment, and universal fever--nothing but fudge could allay
+it.
+But in one respect they all agreed, that government must have had some
+interested view, in giving such positive orders to preserve it, and
+keep it from the natives of the country. Petitions were addressed to
+me from all quarters, from every corporation and body of men in the
+whole empire. The majority of the people instructed their
+constituents, and the parliament presented a petition, praying that I
+would be pleased to take the state of the nation under consideration,
+and give orders to satisfy the people, or the most dreadful
+consequences were to be apprehended. To these requests, at the
+entreaty of my council, I made no reply, or at best but unsatisfactory
+answers. Curiosity was on the rack; they forgot to lampoon the
+government, so engaged were they about the fudge. The great assembly
+of the states could think of nothing else. Instead of enacting laws
+for the regulation of the people, instead of consulting what should
+seem most wise, most excellent, they could think, talk, and harangue
+of nothing but fudge. In vain did the Speaker call to order; the more
+checks they got the more extravagant and inquisitive they were.
+In short, the populace in many places rose in the most outrageous and
+tumultuous manner, forced open the granaries in all places in one day,
+and triumphantly distributed the fudge through the whole empire.
+Whether on account of the longing, the great curiosity, imagination,
+or the disposition of the people, I cannot say--but they found it
+infinitely to their taste; 'twas intoxication of joy, satisfaction,
+and applause.
+Finding how much they liked this fudge, I procured another quantity
+from England, much greater than the former, and cautiously bestowed it
+over all the kingdom. Thus were the affections of the people regained;
+and they, from hence, began to venerate, applaud, and admire my
+government more than ever. The following ode was performed at the
+castle, in the most superb style, and universally admired:--
+ODE.\\
+Ye bulls and crickets, and Gog, Magog,\\
+And trump'ts high chiming anthrophog,\\
+Come sing blithe choral all in //og//,\\
+Caralog, basilog, fog, and bog!\\
+Great and superb appears thy cap sublime,\\
+Admired and worshipp'd as the rising sun;\\
+Solemn, majestic, wise, like hoary Time,\\
+And fam'd alike for virtue, sense, and fun.\\
+Then swell the noble strain with song,\\
+And elegance divine,\\
+While goddesses around shall throng,\\
+And all the muses nine.\\
+And bulls, and crickets, and Gog, Magog,\\
+And trumpets chiming anthrophog,\\
+Shall sing blithe choral all in //og//,\\
+Caralog, basilog, fog, and bog!\\
+This piece of poetry was much applauded, admired, and //encored// in
+every public assembly, celebrated as an astonishing effort of genius;
+and the music, composed by Minheer Gastrashbark Gkrghhbarwskhk, was
+thought equal to the sense!--Never was there anything so universally
+admired, the summit of the most exquisite wit, the keenest praise, the
+most excellent music.
+"Upon my honour, and the faith I owe my love," said I, "music may be
+talked of in England, but to possess the very soul of harmony the
+world should come to the performance of this ode." Lady Fragrantia was
+at that moment drumming with her fingers on the edge of her fan, lost
+in a reverie, thinking she was playing upon---- Was it a forte piano?
+"No, my dear Fragrantia," said I, tenderly taking her in my arms while
+she melted into tears; "never, never, will I play upon any other----!"
+Oh! 'twas divine, to see her like a summer's morning, all blushing and
+full of dew!
+----
+Go to [[CHAPTER XXVIII]]