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+====== the Bangerznmasch people ======
+"Ah, yes," Countess Barbara interrupts, "I well remember my own encounter
+with the infamous Bangerznmasch people, not six months before the
+present time. As Lady Kathryn explains (and as, indeed, she has reported in her
+forthcoming seminal volume on the anthropology of the New World, which I
+have recently had the pleasure of reviewing, discovering only 116 small -
+albeit extremely important - errors therein)... as the Lady Kathryn
+explains, the Bangerznmasch tribe is separated geographically by gender,
+men from women, boys from girls. Infant boys are allowed to stay with
+their mothers until the first festival (of which there are twelve each
+year, except in leap years, when there are only seven), at which time,
+the two camps meet in a great celebration in a camp in the dividing
+range or - as was the case with the tribe that I visited - on rafts in the
+middle of the dividing lake. The music and festivities carry on for a day
+and a night, and the infant boys are sent across to the men's camp, where
+they are fed on the milk of a goat until they are old enough to eat." The
+Lady pauses in her account. "On reflection, this may explain the
+enourmous gap in intellect between the two genders in this tribe: the men
+of the Bangerznmasch are - as the Duke will no doubt have observed - even
+more dimwitted than the average gentleman (present company, of course,
+excluded) of our own race." The Lady delicately drains her glass in a
+single swig, and calls for another before continuing.
+"Now, as I was saying, not six months ago, having made my way overland
+from the true Indies to America via a hitherto unknown route through the
+jungle of Uzbeckistan, I found myself accepting the hospitality of the
+Bangerznmasch. Of course, I did not stay in one of the pickled potato
+huts of the menfolk, but in a three-bedroom, double-brick abode on
+the women's side of the lake.
+"As to the nature of the Bangerzmasch tribe's meat, I cannot attest,
+except to say that it was very finely spiced, and often served with
+maize and boiled cabbage. I saw that there was considerable profit to
+be made if I could aquire the secret of their spices and bring it back
+to the chefs of our own fair isles. But what could I offer in
+exchange? All my luggage - except for a small portmanteau of personal
+posessions carried on the back of my Indian elephant, Ralph - had been
+lost; eaten by the nebbercredit of Bujal as I escaped through the hidden
+tunnels beneath the hills, burnt by the fierce sunlight of Haididi as my
+servants and I trekked across the desert under the cover of mirrored
+cloaks, or confiscated by the Sultan of Stanbul under his most unfair
+Sybarite Tax laws.
+"Pondering my options, I stayed with the Bangerzmasch for three weeks,
+paying my board with stories and the histories of our own people (for the
+Bangerznmasch women are always eager for new knowledge from a reliable
+source) and meanwhile trying to persuade them to let me into the kitchens
+to assist with the cooking (all the while hoping to gain the secret of
+their spices). This was not to be: the tribe is run according to a strict
+caste system, and only those born with short fingers and curled hair may
+aid the cooks.
+"Finally, however, my luck took a turn for the better, as I had the
+fortune to be present for their Festival of Long Pointy Shoes with Bells
+On, the most significant autumn celebration in that part of the world. I
+discovered that the tribe holds an unsurpassed regard for good poetry, and
+yet had never encountered the concept of Rhyme. By bringing the
+possibility of rhyming poetry to their notice, they declared that I had
+more than paid for the secret of their spices, so they furnished me with a
+good supply thereof, and a stubby-fingered, culry-haired servant to
+accompany me on my further travels.
+Lady Barbara smiled at the memory, then looked up at her audience. "Oh,
+do not let me interrupt, Duke Peter. You were [[potato|saying]]?"
+====== ======
+Back to [[countess_barbara_of_tango]]