roleplaying:munchausen:bangerznmasch
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— | roleplaying:munchausen:bangerznmasch [2008/08/27 19:25] (current) – created - external edit 127.0.0.1 | ||
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+ | ====== the Bangerznmasch people ====== | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Ah, yes," Countess Barbara interrupts, "I well remember my own encounter | ||
+ | with the infamous Bangerznmasch people, not six months before the | ||
+ | present time. As Lady Kathryn explains (and as, indeed, she has reported in her | ||
+ | forthcoming seminal volume on the anthropology of the New World, which I | ||
+ | have recently had the pleasure of reviewing, discovering only 116 small - | ||
+ | albeit extremely important - errors therein)... as the Lady Kathryn | ||
+ | explains, the Bangerznmasch tribe is separated geographically by gender, | ||
+ | men from women, boys from girls. Infant boys are allowed to stay with | ||
+ | their mothers until the first festival (of which there are twelve each | ||
+ | year, except in leap years, when there are only seven), at which time, | ||
+ | the two camps meet in a great celebration in a camp in the dividing | ||
+ | range or - as was the case with the tribe that I visited - on rafts in the | ||
+ | middle of the dividing lake. The music and festivities carry on for a day | ||
+ | and a night, and the infant boys are sent across to the men's camp, where | ||
+ | they are fed on the milk of a goat until they are old enough to eat." The | ||
+ | Lady pauses in her account. "On reflection, this may explain the | ||
+ | enourmous gap in intellect between the two genders in this tribe: the men | ||
+ | of the Bangerznmasch are - as the Duke will no doubt have observed - even | ||
+ | more dimwitted than the average gentleman (present company, of course, | ||
+ | excluded) of our own race." The Lady delicately drains her glass in a | ||
+ | single swig, and calls for another before continuing. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Now, as I was saying, not six months ago, having made my way overland | ||
+ | from the true Indies to America via a hitherto unknown route through the | ||
+ | jungle of Uzbeckistan, | ||
+ | Bangerznmasch. Of course, I did not stay in one of the pickled potato | ||
+ | huts of the menfolk, but in a three-bedroom, | ||
+ | the women' | ||
+ | |||
+ | "As to the nature of the Bangerzmasch tribe' | ||
+ | except to say that it was very finely spiced, and often served with | ||
+ | maize and boiled cabbage. I saw that there was considerable profit to | ||
+ | be made if I could aquire the secret of their spices and bring it back | ||
+ | to the chefs of our own fair isles. But what could I offer in | ||
+ | exchange? All my luggage - except for a small portmanteau of personal | ||
+ | posessions carried on the back of my Indian elephant, Ralph - had been | ||
+ | lost; eaten by the nebbercredit of Bujal as I escaped through the hidden | ||
+ | tunnels beneath the hills, burnt by the fierce sunlight of Haididi as my | ||
+ | servants and I trekked across the desert under the cover of mirrored | ||
+ | cloaks, or confiscated by the Sultan of Stanbul under his most unfair | ||
+ | Sybarite Tax laws. | ||
+ | |||
+ | " | ||
+ | paying my board with stories and the histories of our own people (for the | ||
+ | Bangerznmasch women are always eager for new knowledge from a reliable | ||
+ | source) and meanwhile trying to persuade them to let me into the kitchens | ||
+ | to assist with the cooking (all the while hoping to gain the secret of | ||
+ | their spices). This was not to be: the tribe is run according to a strict | ||
+ | caste system, and only those born with short fingers and curled hair may | ||
+ | aid the cooks. | ||
+ | |||
+ | " | ||
+ | fortune to be present for their Festival of Long Pointy Shoes with Bells | ||
+ | On, the most significant autumn celebration in that part of the world. I | ||
+ | discovered that the tribe holds an unsurpassed regard for good poetry, and | ||
+ | yet had never encountered the concept of Rhyme. By bringing the | ||
+ | possibility of rhyming poetry to their notice, they declared that I had | ||
+ | more than paid for the secret of their spices, so they furnished me with a | ||
+ | good supply thereof, and a stubby-fingered, | ||
+ | accompany me on my further travels. | ||
+ | |||
+ | Lady Barbara smiled at the memory, then looked up at her audience. "Oh, | ||
+ | do not let me interrupt, Duke Peter. You were [[potato|saying]]?" | ||
+ | ====== ====== | ||
+ | Back to [[countess_barbara_of_tango]] | ||
roleplaying/munchausen/bangerznmasch.txt · Last modified: 2008/08/27 19:25 by 127.0.0.1