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roleplaying:munchausen:a_case_of_mistaken_identity [2008/08/27 17:24] (current)
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 +====== Mistaken Identity ======
 +
 +Not actually bothering to pause in the hoovering up of small snacks, Svathlan speaks. \\
 +"I have heard, on rumour from a very good authority, that you were temporarily in charge of the project to create, and the progenitor of, the A-12 '​Lictor'​ droid series. ​ And that further, you were almost single-handedly responsible for shutting down the threat of these combat droids to the twelve Ring-worlds of Arctor, and by extension the very Empire itself, when the original twelve exceeded their programming and began a warlord-esque attempt to control the entire kik-dust production cycle."​
 +
 +===== A case of mistaken identity =====
 +
 +
 +"Oh my - that was all a mistake!",​ Bobo seems a little flustered.
 +
 +"​Really - I've never understood how the bureaucrats on Arctor Prime could take one MitSony chrome humaniform model XLVMCCi9200b,​ for another - but that's how it all started."​
 +
 +"I don't know how you heard about _that_ little incident"​. ​ Bobo frowns and exhales heavily. ​ "I was really quite embarassed at being caught up in it all."
 +
 +"​I'​d been sent to Empire (Records (TM)) Central to investigate some recent research on vinyl pressing techniques allegedly used by the ancients. ​ The trade in antique vinyl had - until now - been a minor, but extremely lucrative sideline for the evil Empire. ​ Rediscovery of these techniques, however, presaged a boom in this area; sociological analysis indicated it would again be an up and coming '​new'​ (yet somehow recurring) consumer trend, and of course, the Empire was planning to expand this branch of their business."​
 +
 +"In any case, after engrossing myself in the work aspects of my trip, I was fortunate in that it was a long weekend for the Freen'​s Personality Integration Day - a big thing in the Empire, now that he's a vice-co-chairman in the '​Terran Bleeps and Bloops'​ division. ​ Well I took the long weekend off, and decided to get out of the office and do a bit of sightseeing - the Capital and stuff, you know how it is."
 +
 +"As part of my general touristing, I took a tour of the central aerospace prototype manufacturer,​ Bo-Wing, and it was there, just as I was exiting a hygiene stall after a short break, that I was accosted by a babel of bureaucrats and whisked into the adjoining defence contractors offices and the middle of a political furore. ​ I soon gathered from the babbling masses in the central control room that the Empire'​s latest defence initiative had been built in this very place. ​ The latest model of wardroids had caused a debacle during their initial field test - although unsurpassed killing machines, their aggressive tendencies went somewhat overboard, and ultimately resulted in a cannibalistic massacre amongst themselves."​
 +
 +"Yes, the A-11 '​Lector'​ droid series was just not up to vigorous warfare."​
 +
 +"​So,"​ says Pia, "You didn't feel under any pressure to '​reintegrate'​ your own personality? ​ I hear they can be quite fanatical out there, especially on the holy days.  If fact, I'll wager that you *were* caught up in something of the sort - how could you escape it, being in Empire Central on Freen'​s Day?"
 +
 +Pia flips a Janninian credit into the air, where it hovers, blinking in confusion.
 +
 +Brro draws his wave-pistol and aims it at the credit, before realising that it has been neutered and isn't going to destabilise the economy of the sector through a rampant breeding frenzy.  ​
 +
 +"​Sorry,​ Pia.  Those things make me nervous. ​ My apologies to you, also, Bobo.  Please continue."  ​
 +
 +===== The A-12 and Reintegration Day =====
 +
 + 
 +Bobo frowns a little at Pia, "Well, yes, I *did* get caught up in a reintegration rite - but that's jumping ahead just a little, I'll get to that in due course."​
 +
 +"The bureaucrats appeared to be at a loss.  Several levels of their hierarchy had been lost via direct wardroid berserkness as well as indignant retrenchment by Bo-Wing investors. ​ I knew I shouldn'​t,​ but the urge to impose order on this rabble was just too strong. ​ I soon had information coalescing around me, and orders streaming away.
 +
 +Amongst the office memo's and information which I'd set an avatar to analysing, I noticed that the only MitSony chrome humaniform model XLVMCCi9200b on staff had taken the long weekend off.  I suppose that there being only one such model within the rather extensive office may have been a partial reason (although hardly an excuse) for the case of mistaken identity."​
 +
 +"​Meanwhile,​ droid engineering and software design routines surfaced from my longterm memory storage, and I began to see how the unfortunate tendencies of the '​Lector'​ might be mitigated. ​ After giving orders for implementation of these modifications – which downgraded the A-11's overly voracious cannibalism to a mere introductory licking formality - the office took a break for lunch. Little did I know that *that* was when the Freen'​s Day Personality Reintegration Rite was to occur! ​ En masse, right there in the cafeteria, we were all personality integrated - it seemed a little sordid at the time, but as you can see now, I'm a whole and fulfilled person, and I would urge you all to consider such a procedure to improve your own sadly fragmented little selves."​
 +
 +A slot opens in Bobo's chest and begins extruding pamphlets, which he then hands out.
 +
 +"​Please take these and read and consider them carefully, I'll be more than happy to answer any of your questions after I detail the rest of the little '​Lictor'​ incident."​
 +
 +Arial looks non-plussed as she reads through Bobo's pamphlet.
 +
 +"​Very... interesting",​ she murmurs before looking up at him.
 +
 +"I once had an A-11 '​Lector'​. Got it half price in the sales. It  made an excellent training partner for a while. Until it tried to eat my K-9 cyberpup, that is. I got a little angry after that..."​
 +
 +"But the Lector'​s desire to destroy other droids *is* pretty strong. ​ Surely you would have had to dramatically alter it's Darwinian ​ subroutine to stop it. And I can't beleive that *that* didn't alter  it's personality in other ways. In fact, I'll bet that you found that the A-12 devised an even more subtle and subversive strategy to ensure it's survival."​
 +
 +===== A-12s on Arctor =====
 +
 +
 +Bobo rolls his eyes and sighs with exasperation,​ "Yes, yes - who's telling the story here?​!"​
 +
 +"The droids aren't equipped to breed, of course (that would be an accident waiting to happen), so their mode of reproduction is via Bo-Wing manufacture. ​ Thus their Darwinian routines are routed through the manufacture,​ demand, and supply process. ​ In order for the droid model to survive and multiply, their designers hope they will be successful within their design parameters. ​ Sometimes, however, the wonders of complex and emergent systems allow unexpected factors to interfere in what should be an orderly process."​
 +
 +With a slight grimace, Bobo looks toward Arial.
 +
 +"​However,​ you ascribe the A-12s a little too much self-awareness this early in their creation, their survival was instead more mysterious luck than a subtle strategy. ​ The jazz on the net indicated that my planned '​licking formality'​ modification of the '​Lictor',​ with attendent structuranatomical attributes had somehow provided a rather large boost to investor interest and consumer demand in this series.
 +A stockholders and potential investors meeting was thus called on Arctor Ringworld 0, which then happened to be the home of the Kaballah for Investment Kin - a majority shareholder and one of the richest groups in the Empire - as well as the most central and convenient meeting point for the largest proportion of Bo-Wing stockholders. ​ So by the second day of the long weekend, I, my staff, and the prototypical squad of 12 A-12 droids were fronting a large meeting on Ringo for investor groups from far and wide."
 +
 +"​Wasn'​t Ring 0 the one the Kabbalah '​accidently'​ vaporised ?" inquires Nick Nitrous(GR!). ​
 +
 +"Rumor is the place was taking a loss, so they decided to recover their investment"​
 +
 +A holocredit appears in front of Nitrous.
 +
 +"​I'​d wager the shareholder meeting was interrupted as a result of the KiK's apocalyptic insurance scam"
 +
 +===== Insurance scam not quite a plan, plus Market chaos =====
 +
 +
 +"Well the Kin *do* enjoy their image as ruthless business mavens, so they may well have promulgated Ringo'​s destruction as part of one of their nefarious schemes - and I suppose it may even be a valid interpretation of events. ​ However, you might note that with the value of kik-dust as it is, it would be extremely difficult for any of the kik-dust producing Arctor Ring-worlds to actually take a loss."
 +
 +"The actual course of events was more as I shall describe."​
 +
 +"​Firstly,​ there was intense interest from many different species wanting to own their own personal A-12.  The wealthy Kin harems in particular were well represented. ​ Little did I know that in addition to their military prowess, the A-12's were now cognizant of their potential economic - and thus political and social - power, and were now amongst the players on the net.  Under our very noses (or equivalent sensory apparatus), the Lictors were conducting secret negotiations with Arctor'​s 12 most major Kin Harem'​s."​
 +
 +"​Although production of the mysteriously spiritual and insight-inducing kik-dust via the genegineered Kin's quite narrowly proscribed sexual cycle was ostensibly a secret at the time, somehow,
 +rumours on the potential for our product to disrupt kik-dust production began to filter through to the net - and there was soon an uproar in the stockmarket as the value of kik-dust increased exponentially."​
 +
 +"In an attempt to control the rumours, I was obliged to add some of my own jazz to the net, with judicious support from avatar (sub)players,​ along with incidental planted background evidence, and cleverly constructed yet fallacious opposing arguments from yet other (sub)player-facets. ​ Wild fluctuations occurred and destabilization threatened."​
 +
 +===== The vaporisation of Ringo =====
 +
 + 
 +"Rogue apostophes not withstanding,​ and despite my best efforts at manipulation of the infoflow, the conflicting rumours eventually got out of control, and stockmarket chaos resulted. ​ With the wild fluctuations spreading to related markets, the very basis of the Empire'​s economy was threatened. ​ The Incident Control Kin Yakuza (ICKY) were called in by the worried KIK corporates, they vaporised the planet to control feedback effects on the galactic kik-dust markets, and incidentally obtained their insurance payout."​
 +
 +"So Ringo'​s vaporisation *did* interrupt our meeting - after all, the first time a planet dissolves beneath your feet (or other ambulatory apparatus) can be a little disconcerting."​
 +
 +===== The Empire saved and my weekend over... =====
 +
 +
 +Bobo nods at the Ranger, "Yes, the vaporisation saved the Empire'​s economy, as well as enhancing the ICKY reputation."​
 +
 +"​Although inconvenient,​ the meeting ushers soon had our attendees rounded up.  The Lictors were voted to be too volatile a product to be released unmodified. ​ Unfortunately,​ the prototypes seemed to have disappeared. ​ Fortunately,​ I'd installed a last safeguard - the A-12's were constructed entirely of Tooeze Icecream." ​ Bobo glances at Ariel with a slight smile, "Yes, I was the innovator responsible for the edible android concept; the A-12's are where the engineer-chefs of Michelin first got the idea for their EdAM series, and this is how I come to be appraised of the latest developments in this area – the patents are quite lucrative."​
 +
 +"Yes, although harbouring hegemonic aspirations,​ if the Lictors were left on for any period of time, they'd soon be licking each other – or themselves - to oblivion; not to mention the risk of hungry harems or peckish passers-by."​
 +
 +"The A-13 '​Loctor'​ series had their mouths wired shut - of course that didn't prevent a disaster of '​Lictor'​ proportions - but my long weekend being at an end, I was well out of Arctor by that time, and anyway, that's another story..."​
 +
 +----
 +
 +Back to [[science fiction]] \\
 +Go back to  [[The Captain'​s View Hotel]]
  
roleplaying/munchausen/a_case_of_mistaken_identity.txt · Last modified: 2008/08/27 17:24 (external edit)